Letter 28

[1] Do you suppose this has happened to you alone, and do you marvel at it as though it were something new, that with travel so prolonged and through such a variety of places you have not shaken off the sadness and heaviness of your mind? You ought to change your soul, not your sky. Though you cross the vast sea, though, as our Vergil says, your faults will follow you wherever you arrive. [2] To a certain man making this same complaint Socrates said, 'Why are you surprised that your travels do you no good, when you carry yourself about with you? The same cause that drove you out presses upon you.' What good can the novelty of new lands do? What good the acquaintance of cities or places? All this tossing about comes to nothing. Do you ask why this flight does not help you? You are fleeing in your own company. The burden of the mind must be laid down: until then no place will please you. [3] Consider that your present state is just like that of the prophetess our Vergil portrays when she is already roused and goaded, possessed by much of a spirit that is not her own: You go this way and that, to shake off the weight that sits upon you, a weight that becomes more troublesome by the very tossing about, just as in a ship cargo that stays still presses less, while cargo unevenly shifted sinks more quickly the side onto which it has rolled. Whatever you do, you do against yourself, and by your very motion you harm yourself; for you are shaking a sick man. [4] But once you have removed that ailment, every change of place will become pleasant; you may be driven to the farthest ends of the earth, you may be planted in any corner of barbarian lands, and that dwelling, whatever it is like, will be hospitable to you. It matters more who you are when you arrive than where you arrive, and for that reason we ought to bind our mind to no place. We must live with this conviction: 'I was not born for one corner; this whole world is my native land.' [5] If this were clear to you, you would not be surprised that you gain no benefit from the variety of regions to which, out of weariness with the former ones, you keep moving on; for the very first would have pleased you, if you believed every place your own. As it is, you do not travel but wander and are driven, and you exchange one place for another, though that which you seek, to live well, is set in every place. [6] Can anything be made so turbulent as the Forum? Yet even there one may live in peace, if it must be so. But if it were permitted to arrange oneself, I would flee even the sight and neighborhood of the Forum far away; for just as unwholesome places try even the soundest health, so for a good mind too, not yet fully perfected and only convalescing, there are some places that are insufficiently healthful. [7] I dissent from those who plunge into the midst of the waves and, approving a tumultuous life, struggle every day with the difficulties of affairs in great-hearted combat. The wise man will endure such things, but will not choose them, and will prefer to be at peace rather than in battle; it does little good to have cast off one's own faults, if one must wrangle with those of others. [8] 'Thirty tyrants,' someone says, 'stood around Socrates and yet could not break his spirit.' What does it matter how many masters there are? Slavery is one thing; whoever has despised it is free amid however great a crowd of those who would lord it over him. [9] It is time to stop, but only after I have first paid the toll. 'The beginning of safety is the recognition of one's fault.' This saying of Epicurus seems to me to be excellent; for one who does not know that he sins does not wish to be corrected; you must catch yourself out before you can amend yourself. [10] Some glory in their vices: do you suppose that those who count their evils in the place of virtues give any thought to a remedy? Therefore, as much as you can, convict yourself, examine yourself; first perform the role of accuser, then of judge, last of all of pleader; sometimes be displeased with yourself. Farewell.

Do you suppose that you alone have had this experience? Are you surprised, as if it were a novelty, that after such long travel and so many changes of scene you have not been able to shake off the gloom and heaviness of your mind? You need a change of soul rather than a change of climate. Though you may cross vast spaces of sea, and though, as our Vergil remarks, Lands and cities are left astern, your faults will follow you whithersoever you travel. Socrates made the same remark to one who complained; he said: “Why do you wonder that globe-trotting does not help you, seeing that you always take yourself with you? The reason which set you wandering is ever at your heels.” What pleasure is there in seeing new lands? Or in surveying cities and spots of interest? All your bustle is useless. Do you ask why such flight does not help you? It is because you flee along with yourself. You must lay aside the burdens of the mind; until you do this, no place will satisfy you. Reflect that your present behaviour is like that of the prophetess whom Vergil describes: she is excited and goaded into fury, and contains within herself much inspiration that is not her own: The priestess raves, if haply she may shake The great god from her heart. You wander hither and yon, to rid yourself of the burden that rests upon you, though it becomes more troublesome by reason of your very restlessness, just as in a ship the cargo when stationary makes no trouble, but when it shifts to this side or that, it causes the vessel to heel more quickly in the direction where it has settled. Anything you do tells against you, and you hurt yourself by your very unrest; for you are shaking up a sick man. That trouble once removed, all change of scene will become pleasant; though you may be driven to the uttermost ends of the earth, in whatever corner of a savage land you may find yourself, that place, however forbidding, will be to you a hospitable abode. The person you are matters more than the place to which you go; for that reason we should not make the mind a bondsman to any one place. Live in this belief: “I am not born for any one corner of the universe; this whole world is my country.” If you saw this fact clearly, you would not be surprised at getting no benefit from the fresh scenes to which you roam each time through weariness of the old scenes. For the first would have pleased you in each case, had you believed it wholly yours. As it is, however, you are not journeying; you are drifting and being driven, only exchanging one place for another, although that which you seek,—to live well,—is found everywhere. Can there be any spot so full of confusion as the Forum? Yet you can live quietly even there, if necessary. Of course, if one were allowed to make one’s own arrangements, I should flee far from the very sight and neighbourhood of the Forum. For just as pestilential places assail even the strongest constitution, so there are some places which are also unwholesome for a healthy mind which is not yet quite sound, though recovering from its ailment. I disagree with those who strike out into the midst of the billows and, welcoming a stormy existence, wrestle daily in hardihood of soul with life’s problems. The wise man will endure all that, but will not choose it; he will prefer to be at peace rather than at war. It helps little to have cast out your own faults if you must quarrel with those of others. Says one: “There were thirty tyrants surrounding Socrates, and yet they could not break his spirit”; but what does it matter how many masters a man has? “Slavery” has no plural; and he who has scorned it is free,—no matter amid how large a mob of over-lords he stands. It is time to stop, but not before I have paid duty. “The knowledge of sin is the beginning of salvation.” This saying of Epicurus seems to me to be a noble one. For he who does not know that he has sinned does not desire correction; you must discover yourself in the wrong before you can reform yourself. Some boast of their faults. Do you think that the man has any thought of mending his ways who counts over his vices as if they were virtues? Therefore, as far as possible, prove yourself guilty, hunt up charges against yourself; play the part, first of accuser, then of judge, last of intercessor. At times be harsh with yourself. Farewell.

[1] Hoc tibi soli putas accidisse et admiraris quasi rem novam quod peregrinatione tam longa et tot locorum varietatibus non discussisti tristitiam gravitatemque mentis? Animum debes mutare, non caelum. Licet vastum traieceris mare, licet, ut ait Vergilius noster, sequentur te quocumque perveneris vitia. [2] Hoc idem querenti cuidam Socrates ait, 'quid miraris nihil tibi peregrinationes prodesse, cum te circumferas? premit te eadem causa quae expulit'. Quid terrarum iuvare novitas potest? quid cognitio urbium aut locorum? in irritum cedit ista iactatio. Quaeris quare te fuga ista non adiuvet? tecum fugis. Onus animi deponendum est: non ante tibi ullus placebit locus. [3] Talem nunc esse habitum tuum cogita qualem Vergilius noster vatis inducit iam concitatae et instigatae multumque habentis se spiritus non sui: Vadis huc illuc ut excutias insidens pondus quod ipsa iactatione incommodius fit, sicut in navi onera immota minus urgent, inaequaliter convoluta citius eam partem in quam incubuere demergunt. Quidquid facis, contra te facis et motu ipso noces tibi; aegrum enim concutis. [4] At cum istuc exemeris malum, omnis mutatio loci iucunda fiet; in ultimas expellaris terras licebit, in quolibet barbariae angulo colloceris, hospitalis tibi illa qualiscumque sedes erit. Magis quis veneris quam quo interest, et ideo nulli loco addicere debemus animum. Cum hac persuasione vivendum est: 'non sum uni angulo natus, patria mea totus hic mundus est'. [5] Quod si liqueret tibi, non admirareris nil adiuvari te regionum varietatibus in quas subinde priorum taedio migras; prima enim quaeque placuisset si omnem tuam crederes. Nunc <non> peregrinaris sed erras et ageris ac locum ex loco mutas, cum illud quod quaeris, bene vivere, omni loco positum sit. [6] Num quid tam turbidum fieri potest quam forum? ibi quoque licet quiete vivere, si necesse sit. Sed si liceat disponere se, conspectum quoque et viciniam fori procul fugiam; nam ut loca gravia etiam firmissimam valetudinem temptant, ita bonae quoque menti necdum adhuc perfectae et convalescenti sunt aliqua parum salubria. [7] Dissentio ab his qui in fluctus medios eunt et tumultuosam probantes vitam cotidie cum difficultatibus rerum magno animo colluctantur. Sapiens feret ista, non eliget, et malet in pace esse quam in pugna; non multum prodest vitia sua proiecisse, si cum alienis rixandum est. [8] 'Triginta' inquit 'tyranni Socraten circumsteterunt nec potuerunt animum eius infringere.' Quid interest quot domini sint? servitus una est; hanc qui contempsit in quanta libet turba dominantium liber est. [9] Tempus est desinere, sed si prius portorium solvero. 'Initium est salutis notitia peccati.' Egregie mihi hoc dixisse videtur Epicurus; nam qui peccare se nescit corrigi non vult; deprehendas te oportet antequam emendes. [10] Quidam vitiis gloriantur: tu existimas aliquid de remedio cogitare qui mala sua virtutum loco numerant? Ideo quantum potes te ipse coargue, inquire in te; accusatoris primum partibus fungere, deinde iudicis, novissime deprecatoris; aliquando te offende. Vale.