Letter 123

(1) Worn out by a journey more uncomfortable than long, I reached my villa at Alba late at night, and I find nothing ready except myself. So I lay my weariness to rest on my little couch, and I take this delay of cook and baker in good part. For I am talking with myself about this very thing: how nothing is burdensome that you receive with a light spirit, and how nothing deserves indignation if you do not add to it by your own indignation. (2) My baker has no bread; but the bailiff has some, the doorkeeper has some, the tenant-farmer has some. "Bad bread," you say. Wait: it will become good. Hunger will turn even that into something soft and made of fine wheat flour for you. For that reason one should not eat before hunger gives the order. So I shall wait, and not eat until I either begin to have good bread or stop turning up my nose at bad. (3) It is essential to grow accustomed to little, for many difficulties of place and many of time will block and confront even the rich and well-equipped man [text uncertain]. No one can have whatever he wants; but this he can do: not want what he does not have, and cheerfully use what is offered. A great part of freedom is a well-mannered stomach, one that can endure rough treatment. (4) It cannot be estimated how much pleasure I take from this, that my weariness settles itself to rest of its own accord: I seek no masseurs, no bath, no other remedy than time. For what toil has brought on, rest takes away. This dinner, whatever sort it is, will be more delightful than an inaugural feast. (5) For I have suddenly taken a test of my mind; and this kind of test is simpler and truer. For when the mind has prepared itself and has formally enjoined patience upon itself, it does not show equally how much true firmness it has. The surest proofs are those it gives on the spur of the moment, if it looked upon annoyances not only with composure but with calm; if it did not flare up, did not quarrel; if it supplied for itself, by not craving, what ought to have been given to it, and reckoned that something might be lacking to its habit, but nothing to itself. (6) We do not understand how superfluous many things are until they begin to be lacking; for we were using them not because we needed them but because we had them. And how much do we acquire because others have acquired it, because most people have it! Among the causes of our ills is this: that we live by examples, and are not composed by reason but led astray by custom. There are things we would refuse to imitate if only a few did them; but once a greater number have begun to do them, we follow along, as though a thing were more honorable because it is more frequent; and error takes the place of right with us once it has become public. (7) Everyone now travels in such a way that a squadron of Numidian horsemen runs ahead, that a column of couriers goes before: it is held disgraceful to have no one to drive those they meet off the road, no one to make plain by a great cloud of dust that a man of rank is coming. Everyone now has mules to carry vessels of crystal and murrhine and ware embossed by the hand of great craftsmen: it is held disgraceful to be seen carrying only such baggage as can be jolted safely. The pages of all are conveyed with smeared faces, so that the sun and the cold may not harm their delicate skin: it is held disgraceful that there should be no one in your retinue whose sound, boyish face calls for cosmetic treatment. (8) The conversation of all such people must be avoided: these are the ones who pass on vices and transfer them from one source to another. The worst kind of these men used to seem to be those who carried words about; there are some who carry vices about. Their talk does much harm; for even if it does not take effect at once, it leaves seeds in the mind, and follows us even when we have departed from them, the evil destined to rise up again later. (9) Just as those who have heard a concert carry off with them in their ears that melody and the sweetness of the songs, which hampers their thoughts and does not let them be turned to serious matters, so the talk of flatterers and of those who praise what is depraved clings longer than it is heard. Nor is it easy to shake a sweet sound out of the mind: it pursues us and lasts and recurs after an interval. Therefore the ears must be shut against evil voices, and indeed against the very first of them; for once they have made a beginning and been let in, they grow bolder. (10) From there one arrives at words like these: "Virtue and philosophy and justice are the rattle of empty words; the one happiness is to treat life well: to eat, to drink, to enjoy one's inheritance, this is to live, this is to remember that one is mortal. The days flow on, and irrecoverable life runs by. Do we hesitate? What good is it to be wise and to keep thrusting frugality upon an age that will not always be capable of pleasures, meanwhile, while it can, while it demands them? Outrun death in this, and squander upon yourself now whatever death is going to take away [text uncertain]. You have no mistress, no boy to stir a mistress's jealousy; you go out sober every day; you dine as though you had to submit your daybook to your father for approval: that is not living but being a spectator at someone else's life. (11) What madness it is to manage your heir's affairs and deny everything to yourself, so that a great inheritance turns a friend into an enemy against you; for the more he receives, the more he will rejoice at your death. Do not value at a copper coin those gloomy and supercilious censors of other men's lives, enemies of their own, public schoolmasters, and do not hesitate to prefer a good life to a good reputation." (12) These voices must be fled from no differently than those which Ulysses [Odysseus] refused to sail past unless bound. They have the same power: they draw a man away from his homeland, from his parents, from his friends, from the virtues, and [text uncertain] they make a mockery of his life amid hope, a wretched life if not a shameful one. How much better it is to follow the straight path and bring yourself to the point where, in the end, the things that are pleasant to you are the things that are honorable! (13) We shall be able to attain this if we know that there are two kinds of things which either invite us or drive us off. Riches invite us, as do pleasures, beauty, ambition, and the rest of what is alluring and smiling; toil drives us off, and death, pain, disgrace, a more restricted diet. We ought therefore to train ourselves not to fear the latter, not to crave the former. Let us fight in the opposite direction, and retreat from the things that invite us, and rouse ourselves against the things that beset us. (14) Do you not see how different is the bearing of those going down and those going up? Those who go down a slope lean their bodies back; those who go up a steep climb lean forward. For to throw your weight forward when you go down, or to draw it back when you go up, is to side with vice, Lucilius. Into pleasures one descends; toward harsh and hard things one must climb: here let us drive our bodies forward, there let us rein them back. (15) Do you suppose that I am now saying that only those are dangerous to our ears who praise pleasure, who strike us with fears of pain, things fearsome in themselves? I think that those too harm us who, under the appearance of the Stoic school, urge us toward vices. For this is their boast: that only the wise and learned man is a lover. "He alone is fit for this art; the wise man is also most expert at drinking together and feasting together. Let us inquire up to what age young men should be loved." (16) Let these things be granted to Greek custom; let us rather direct our ears to these: "No one is good by chance: virtue must be learned. Pleasure is a low and trifling thing, to be held of no value, shared with dumb animals, to which the smallest and most contemptible creatures fly. Glory is something empty and shifting, more changeable than a breeze. Poverty is an evil to no one except the man who fights against it. Death is not an evil: you ask what it is? It is the one law that is equal for the human race. Superstition is an insane error: it fears those it ought to love, it violates those it worships. For what difference is there between denying the gods and defaming them?" (17) These things must be learned, indeed learned by heart: philosophy ought not to furnish excuses for vice. The sick man has no hope of recovery whom his physician urges toward intemperance. Farewell.

Wearied with the discomfort rather than with the length of my journey, I have reached my Alban villa late at night, and I find nothing in readiness except myself. So I am getting rid of fatigue at my writing-table: I derive some good from this tardiness on the part of my cook and my baker. For I am communing with myself on this very topic—that nothing is heavy if one accepts it with a light heart, and that nothing need provoke one’s anger if one does not add to one’s pile of troubles by getting angry. My baker is out of bread; but the overseer, or the house-steward, or one of my tenants can supply me therewith. “Bad bread!” you say. But just wait for it; it will become good. Hunger will make even such bread delicate and of the finest flavour. For that reason I must not eat until hunger bids me; so I shall wait and shall not eat until I can either get good bread or else cease to be squeamish about it. It is necessary that one grow accustomed to slender fare: because there are many problems of time and place which will cross the path even of the rich man and one equipped for pleasure, and bring him up with a round turn. To have whatsoever he wishes is in no man’s power; it is in his power not to wish for what he has not, but cheerfully to employ what comes to him. A great step towards independence is a good-humoured stomach, one that is willing to endure rough treatment. You cannot imagine how much pleasure I derive from the fact that my weariness is becoming reconciled to itself; I am asking for no slaves to rub me down, no bath, and no other restorative except time. For that which toil has accumulated, rest can lighten. This repast, whatever it may be, will give me more pleasure than an inaugural banquet. For I have made trial of my spirit on a sudden—a simpler and a truer test. Indeed, when a man has made preparations and given himself a formal summons to be patient, it is not equally clear just how much real strength of mind he possesses; the surest proofs are those which one exhibits off-hand, viewing one’s own troubles not only fairly but calmly, not flying into fits of temper or wordy wranglings, supplying one’s own needs by not craving something which was really due, and reflecting that our habits may be unsatisfied, but never our own real selves. How many things are superfluous we fail to realize until they begin to be wanting; we merely used them not because we needed them but because we had them. And how much do we acquire simply because our neighbours have acquired such things, or because most men possess them! Many of our troubles may be explained from the fact that we live according to a pattern, and, instead of arranging our lives according to reason, are led astray by convention. There are things which, if done by the few, we should refuse to imitate; yet when the majority have begun to do them, we follow along—just as if anything were more honourable because it is more frequent! Furthermore, wrong views, when they have become prevalent, reach, in our eyes, the standard of righteousness. Everyone now travels with Numidian outriders preceding him, with a troop of slave-runners to clear the way; we deem it disgraceful to have no attendants who will elbow crowds from the road, or will prove, by a great cloud of dust, that a high dignitary is approaching! Everyone now possesses mules that are laden with crystal and myrrhine cups carved by skilled artists of great renown; it is disgraceful for all your baggage to be made up of that which can be rattled along without danger. Everyone has pages who ride along with ointment-covered faces, so that the heat or the cold will not harm their tender complexions; it is disgraceful that none of your attendant slave-boys should show a healthy cheek, not covered with cosmetics. You should avoid conversation with all such persons: they are the sort that communicate and engraft their bad habits from one to another. We used to think that the very worst variety of these men were those who vaunted their words; but there are certain men who vaunt their wickedness. Their talk is very harmful; for even though it is not at once convincing, yet they leave the seeds of trouble in the soul, and the evil which is sure to spring into new strength follows us about even when we have parted from them. Just as those who have attended a concert carry about in their heads the melodies and the charm of the songs they have heard—a proceeding which interferes with their thinking and does not allow them to concentrate upon serious subjects,—even so the speech of flatterers and enthusiasts over that which is depraved sticks in our minds long after we have heard them talk. It is not easy to rid the memory of a catching tune; it stays with us, lasts on, and comes back from time to time. Accordingly, you should close your ears against evil talk, and right at the outset, too; for when such talk has gained an entrance and the words are admitted and are in our minds, they become more shameless. And then we begin to speak as follows: “Virtue, Philosophy, Justice—this is a jargon of empty words. The only way to be happy is to do yourself well. To eat, drink, and spend your money is the only real life, the only way to remind yourself that you are mortal. Our days flow on, and life—which we cannot restore—hastens away from us. Why hesitate to come to our senses? This life of ours will not always admit pleasures; meantime, while it can do so, while it clamours for them, what profit lies in imposing thereupon frugality? Therefore get ahead of death, and let anything that death will filch from you be squandered now upon yourself. You have no mistress, no favourite slave to make your mistress envious; you are sober when you make your daily appearance in public; you dine as if you had to show your account-book to ‘Papa’; but that is not living, it is merely going shares in someone else’s existence. And what madness it is to be looking out for the interests of your heir, and to deny yourself everything, with the result that you turn friends into enemies by the vast amount of the fortune you intend to leave! For the more the heir is to get from you, the more he will rejoice in your taking-off! All those sour fellows who criticize other men’s lives in a spirit of priggishness and are real enemies to their own lives, playing schoolmaster to the world—you should not consider them as worth a farthing, nor should you hesitate to prefer good living to a good reputation.” These are voices which you ought to shun just as Ulysses did; he would not sail past them until he was lashed to the mast. They are no less potent; they lure men from country, parents, friends, and virtuous ways; and by a hope that, if not base, is ill-starred, they wreck them upon a life of baseness. How much better to follow a straight course and attain a goal where the words “pleasant” and “honourable” have the same meaning! This end will be possible for us if we understand that there are two classes of objects which either attract us or repel us. We are attracted by such things as riches, pleasures, beauty, ambition, and other such coaxing and pleasing objects; we are repelled by toil, death, pain, disgrace, or lives of greater frugality. We ought therefore to train ourselves so that we may avoid a fear of the one or a desire for the other. Let us fight in the opposite fashion: let us retreat from the objects that allure, and rouse ourselves to meet the objects that attack. Do you not see how different is the method of descending a mountain from that employed in climbing upwards? Men coming down a slope bend backwards; men ascending a steep place lean forward. For, my dear Lucilius, to allow yourself to put your body’s weight ahead when coming down, or, when climbing up, to throw it backward is to comply with vice. The pleasures take one down hill but one must work upwards toward that which is rough and hard to climb; in the one case let us throw our bodies forward, in the others let us put the check-rein on them. Do you believe me to be stating now that only those men bring ruin to our ears, who praise pleasure, who inspire us with fear of pain—that element which is in itself provocative of fear? I believe that we are also injured by those who masquerade under the disguise of the Stoic school and at the same time urge us on into vice. They boast that only the wise man and the learned is a lover. “He alone has wisdom in this art; the wise man too is best skilled in drinking and feasting. Our study ought to be this alone: up to what age the bloom of love can endure!” All this may be regarded as a concession to the ways of Greece; we ourselves should preferably turn our attention to words like these: “No man is good by chance. Virtue is something which must be learned. Pleasure is low, petty, to be deemed worthless, shared even by dumb animals—the tiniest and meanest of whom fly towards pleasure. Glory is an empty and fleeting thing, lighter than air. Poverty is an evil to no man unless he kick against the goads. Death is not an evil; why need you ask? Death alone is the equal privilege of mankind. Superstition is the misguided idea of a lunatic; it fears those whom it ought to love; it is an outrage upon those whom it worships. For what difference is there between denying the gods and dishonouring them?” You should learn such principles as these, nay rather you should learn them by heart; philosophy ought not to try to explain away vice. For a sick man, when his physician bids him live recklessly, is doomed beyond recall. Farewell.

(1) Itinere confectus incommodo magis quam longo in Albanum meum multanocte perueni: nihil habeo parati nisi me. Itaque in lectulo lassitudinempono, hanc coci ac pistoris moram boni consulo. Mecum enim de hoc ipsoloquor, quam nihil sit graue quod leuiter excipias, quam indignandum nihil<dum nihil> ipse indignando adstruas. (2) Non habet panem meus pistor;sed habet uilicus, sed habet atriensis, sed habet colonus. 'Malum panem'inquis. Expecta: bonus fiet; etiam illum tibi tenerum et siligineum famesreddet. Ideo non est ante edendum quam illa imperat. Expectabo ergo necante edam quam aut bonum panem habere coepero aut malum fastidire desiero. (3) Necessarium est paruo adsuescere: multae difficultates locorum, multaetemporum etiam locupletibus et instructis ~aduobus optantem prohibent et~occurrent. Quidquid uult habere nemo potest, illud potest, nolle quod nonhabet, rebus oblatis hilaris uti. Magna pars libertatis est bene moratusuenter et contumeliae patiens. (4) Aestimari non potest quantam uoluptatemcapiam ex eo quod lassitudo mea sibi ipsa adquiescit: non unctores, nonbalineum, non ullum aliud remedium quam temporis quaero. Nam quod laborcontraxit quies tollit. Haec qualiscumque cena aditiali iucundior erit. (5) ~Aliquod enim~ experimentum animi sumpsi subito; hoc enim est simpliciuset uerius. Nam ubi se praeparauit et indixit sibi patientiam, non aequeapparet quantum habeat uerae firmitatis: illa sunt certissima argumentaquae ex tempore dedit, si non tantum aequus molestias sed placidus aspexit;si non excanduit, non litigauit; si quod dari deberet ipse sibi non desiderandosuppleuit et cogitauit aliquid consuetudini suae, sibi nihil deesse. (6) Multa quam superuacua essent non intelleximus nisi deesse coeperunt; utebamur enim illis non quia debebamus sed quia habebamus. Quam multa autem paramus quia alii parauerunt, quia apud plerosque sunt! Inter causas malorum nostrorum est quod uiuimus ad exempla, nec ratione componimur sed consuetudine abducimur. Quod si pauci facerent nollemus imitari, cum plures facere coeperunt quasi honestius sit quia frequentius, sequimur; et recti apud nos locum tenet error ubi publicus factus est. (7) Omnes iam sic peregrinantur utillos Numidarum praecurrat equitatus, ut agmen cursorum antecedat: turpeest nullos esse qui occurrentis uia deiciant, (ut) qui honestum hominemuenire magno puluere ostendant. Omnes iam mulos habent qui crustallinaet murrina et caelata magnorum artificum manu portent: turpe est uiderieas te habere sarcinas solas quae tuto concuti possint. Omnium paedagogiaoblita facie uehuntur ne sol, ne frigus teneram cutem laedat: turpe estneminem esse in comitatu tuo puerorum cuius sana facies medicamentum desideret. (8) Horum omnium sermo uitandus est: hi sunt qui uitia tradunt et alioaliunde transferunt. Pessimum genus (horum) hominum uidebatur qui uerbagestarent: sunt quidam qui uitia gestant. Horum sermo multum nocet; nametiam si non statim proficit, semina in animo relinquit sequiturque nosetiam cum ab illis discessimus, resurrecturum postea malum. (9) Quemadmodumqui audierunt synphoniam ferunt secum in auribus modulationem illam acdulcedinem cantuum, quae cogitationes inpedit nec ad seria patitur intendi,sic adulatorum et praua laudantium sermo diutius haeret quam auditur. Necfacile est animo dulcem sonum excutere: prosequitur et durat et ex interuallo recurrit. Ideo cludendae sunt aures malis uocibus et quidem primis; namcum initium fecerunt admissaeque sunt, plus audent. (10) Inde ad haec peruenituruerba: 'uirtus et philosophia et iustitia uerborum inanium crepitus est;una felicitas est bene uitae facere; esse, bibere, frui patrimonio, hocest uiuere, hoc est se mortalem esse meminisse. Fluunt dies et inreparabilisuita decurrit. Dubitamus? Quid iuuat sapere et aetati non semper uoluptatesrecepturae interim, dum potest, dum poscit, ingerere frugalitatem? ~Eo~mortem praecurre et quidquid illa ablatura est iam sibi ~interere~. Nonamicam habes, non puerum qui amicae moueat inuidiam; cottidie sobrius prodis;sic cenas tamquam ephemeridem patri adprobaturus: non est istud uiueresed alienae uitae interesse. (11) Quanta dementia est heredis sui res procurareet sibi negare omnia ut tibi ex amico inimicum magna faciat hereditas;plus enim gaudebit tua morte quo plus acceperit. Istos tristes et superciliososalienae uitae censores, suae hostes, publicos paedagogos assis ne fecerisnec dubitaueris bonam uitam quam opinionem bonam malle. ' (12) Hae uocesnon aliter fugiendae sunt quam illae quas Ulixes nisi alligatus praeteruehinoluit. Idem possunt: abducunt a patria, a parentibus, ab amicis, a uirtutibus,et ~inter spem uitam misera nisi turpis inludunt~. Quanto satius est rectumsequi limitem et eo se perducere ut ea demum sint tibi iucunda quae honesta!(13) Quod adsequi poterimus si scierimus duo esse genera rerum quae nosaut inuitent aut fugent. Inuitant (ut) diuitiae, uoluptates, forma, ambitio,cetera blanda et adridentia: fugat labor, mors, dolor, ignominia, uictusadstrictior. Debemus itaque exerceri ne haec timeamus, ne illa cupiamus. In contrarium pugnemus et ab inuitantibus recedamus, aduersus petentiaconcitemur. (14) Non uides quam diuersus sit descendentium habitus et escendentium? qui per pronum eunt resupinant corpora, qui in arduum, incumbunt. Nam sidescendas, pondus suum in priorem partem dare, si escendas, retro abducere,cum uitio, Lucili, consentire est. In uoluptates descenditur, in asperaet dura subeundum est: hic inpellamus corpora, illic refrenemus. (15) Hoc nunc me existimas dicere, eos tantum perniciosos esse auribusnostris qui uoluptatem laudant, qui doloris metus, per se formidabilesres, incutiunt? Illos quoque nocere nobis existimo qui nos sub specie Stoicaesectae hortantur ad uitia. Hoc enim iactant: solum sapientem et doctumesse amatorem. 'Solus aptus est ad hanc artem; aeque conbibendi et conuiuendisapiens est peritissimus. Quaeramus ad quam usque aetatem iuuenes amandisint. ' (16) Haec Graecae consuetudini data sint, nos ad illa potius auresderigamus: 'nemo est casu bonus: discenda uirtus est. Voluptas humilisres et pusilla est et in nullo habenda pretio, communis cum mutis animalibus,ad quam minima et contemptissima aduolant. Gloria uanum et uolubile quiddamest auraque mobilius. Paupertas nulli malum est nisi repugnanti. Mors malumnon est: quid <sit> quaeris? sola ius aequum generis humani. Superstitioerror insanus est: amandos timet, quos colit uiolat. Quid enim interestutrum deos neges an infames? ' (17) Haec discenda, immo ediscenda sunt:non debet excusationes uitio philosophia suggerere. Nullam habet spem salutisaeger quem ad intemperantiam medicus hortatur. Vale.