Letter 1002: Impious negligence and negligent impiety have possessed me so completely that I do not know, my lord, what to accuse...

To his own particular lord in Christ, the Lord, his patron, Bishop Faustus, Ruricius. So thoroughly have impious negligence and negligent impiety taken hold of me that I do not know, my lord, with what fault I should most of all accuse myself, nor do I find what I should first plead in my own excuse. For if I attempt to put forward some argument for excusing my excuses in my sins, I shall add to the sin another sin without any thought of the judgment, so that I weigh myself down with a double and greater offense, and I who am guilty of slowness begin to be guilty of falsehood as well, and extend my crime even to the point of doing injury to a fellow human being; awaiting now only a fatherly sentence for the fault of my sluggishness, but liable to be subjected to a divine sentence for the punishment of my lying, especially since a true confession earns indulgence and a false excuse earns offense. I therefore prefer to seek pardon by a confession as simple as it is suppliant, rather than to double my sins. You have me, then, best of fathers, distinguished shepherd, as the willing confessor of my own fault. You have in the disciple's error something to correct, and in the little sheep's sickness something to heal. And it lies within your power and judgment whether you wish to cut away the rottenness of my ulcer with the harshness of the knife, or to cure it with the gentleness of remedies. Yet I, whichever cure you choose, shall embrace it undismayed, and I shall not turn aside from the blow of the fatherly right hand, provided only that I may obtain my portion of the promised inheritance; nor shall I attend to what punishment is mine in the scourging, but to whom I have [as my father] in the testament. For it is better for me to weep over a father than to be disowned in contempt by a father, since the love of parents constrains in order that it may correct, and does not persist in order that it may punish; nor does the arrogance of one who behaves proudly bring them as much grief as the humility of one who confesses brings them joy. Thus that most indulgent father of the Gospel received with a glad embrace his son, the squanderer of the substance entrusted to him, readier to rejoice over his return than to reckon up his fall. In short, his outrages are not cast in his teeth, nor his extravagance, nor his destitution; the mere coming back of one who had turned around makes up for all the losses, since without doubt the father's capacity for receiving back was greater than the son's capacity for property. So the one whom departure had made guilty, the return made innocent, and mercy is sufficient for the heir. Indeed, the pardon of fatherly clemency alone does not suffice -- that he cherishes him in his arms, that he soothes him with kindness -- unless he also multiplies generous gifts. He gives a ring, lest he should again depart from the father with treachery leading him away. He gives sandals for his feet, that he may the more easily despise the rough and hard things of the steep road. He gives also that first robe which he had lost, so that the one whom he had received back from death he might endow with his former immortality. The calf too is given to the younger son on his return, the very one which as a lamb had been given to the elder son when he was about to set out from Egypt, because the father himself leads forth out of Egypt. Having imitated the faith of so great a parent, hand over your help to sinners, grant remission to those who make the attempt, bestow your intercession, and to the confessing son not only grant pardon yourself, but plead for pardon yourself, so that the one whom you call free in a foreign country you may be able to see set free in his own. And may he who through himself lost the Lord's bounty deserve through you to obtain liberty, and may he who is kept apart from the reward not be separated from your consolation.

II. DOMINO SUO PECULIARI IN CHRISTO DOMINO PATRONO FAUSTO EPISCOPO RURICIUS. Ita me hactenus inpia neglegentia et neglegens impietas possederunt, ut, quid, domine mi, in me potissimum accusem, nesciam et, quid in me primum excusem, non inueniam. si enim argumentationem aliquam ad excusandas excusationes in peccatis exhibere temptauero, adiciam peccato sine iudicii recordatione peccatum, ut duplici atque maiori delicto ipse me premam, ut, qui tarditatis reus sum, esse incipiam falsitatis et ab humana usque iniuria crimen extendam, paternam nunc tantum expectans de segnitiae noxa sententiam, diuinae uero pro mendacii ultione subiciar, praesertim cum uera confessio indulgentiam et falsa excusatio mereatur offensam. malo itaque tam simplici confessione quam supplici ueniam petere, quam peccata geminare. Habes ergo, pater optime, pastor egregie, me culpae meae spontaneum confessorem. habes et in discipuli errore, quod corrigas, et in ouiculae languore, quod sanes. potestatisque et iudicii tui est, utrum uelis ulceris mei putredinem ferri rigore rescindere an medicamentorum lenitate curare. ego tamen,. utram elegeritis, curationem amplectar intrepidus nec paternae 9] Psalm. 140, \'4. 1 egritudines S 2 cognuscitis 81 mittatis] finit add. S 7 possiderunt S acusem S 10 exhibera 81 temptauero (te in ras. S7) S aditiam S iuditii S 12 primam 81 18 iniuriam S, quod defendit diuinam addi iubens Kr . paternam] ad aeternam v, fortasse aeternum, paternam scribendum 14 signitiae S 15 mendatii S presertim S 16 at Mommsenus excusatione S mallo S 19 obtime S egregi S me scripsi, meae S, me iam Luetjohann, meam v culpe S 20 sponta- II neam confessionem v 21 laguore S 22 iuditii S uellis S putrica dinem S 28 medimentorum S (ca man. alt.) 24 ueram S eligeritis S paterne S XXI. Paust. 23 ictum dexterae declinabo, dummodo portionem promissae hereditatis adipiscar, neque adtendam, quae mihi poena sit in flagello, sed quem habeam *** in testamento. melius enim mihi est flere super patre, quam ut abdicer contemptus a patre, quia parentum pietas distringit, ut corrigat, non perseuerat, ut puniat, nec tantum eis maeroris infert adrogantia superbientis, quantum gaudii confert humilitas confitentis. Sic ille euangelii indulgentissimus pater filium praeceptae substantiae decoctorem laeto suscepit amplexu promptior gaudere de reditu quam inputare de lapsu. denique non ei exprobrantur facinora, non luxuria, non egestas, sola conuersi reuersio omnia damna conpensat, quia maior fuit procul dubio patri facultas reditus quam rerum facultas. ita, quem abscessio -reum fecerat, regressio fecit insontem et misericordia sufficit heredi. quin etiam paternae clementiae uenia sola non suf- Scit, quod ulnis fouet, quod gratia permulcet, nisi et munera larga multiplicet. dat anulum, ne rursus a patre perfidia abducente discedat. calceamenta dat pedibus, quo facilius ardui itineris aspera et dura contemnat. dat et ipsam primam, quam perdiderat, stolam, ut, quem a morte receperat, pristina inmortalitate donaret. datur etiam ipse iuniori uitulus reuerso, qui seniori agnus datus fuerat de Aegypto profecturo, quia ipse educit ex Aegypto pater. Tanti parentis imitatus fidem trade peccatoribus adiutorium, praesta conantibus remissionem, intercessionem largire confitentique filio non solum ipse ueniam tribue, sed ipse ueniam 1 dextere S porcionem S promisse S 2 adiplis I carnesq; Sl que S, quam v 3 ante habeam excidisse locum suspicatur LtutjoMfln, i ego patrem potius post habeam suppleuerim 4 contemta S 5 quam S (corr. man. alt.) 6 ne S eill S (erat s in ras.) meroris S 7 superbientes Sl gaudium fert 81 8 preceptae S 9 prumtior S 10 ei] et S, om. v 11 luxoria S conuersa] S, corr. v 13 ita quem correxi, itaque S, itaque Kr. v 14 reum 8 (u man. alt.) et (t man. aU. in ras.) S, ea v 15 quin etiam uenia sola: paternae clementiae non sufficit coni. Mommsenus heredi ex hered; f 8\' 17 larga S pfida abduces 81, llfidia. duce 82 in textu, pfida abducente 82 in margine addito: ai 18 calciamenta S 24 imitatus scnpsi, imi tantus 8 (af imita £ 5 in mar- gine), imitare tu Momviseum, imitare tantus c 25 presta S intercessione S deprecare, ut, quem in peregrina patria appellas liberum, in propria possis uidere liberatum. et qui per se amisit dominicam liberalitatem, per te mereatur consequi libertatem nec a uestro separetur solatio, qui sequestratur praemio.