Letter 395: What Boeotians have you been keeping company with, that you've lost your skill in rhetoric?

To Andronicus. (355) With what sort of Boeotians have you been keeping company, that you have thrown away your art concerning words? For surely that is not the mark of Andronicus, to praise long letters everywhere while driving off those that are not long; rather, you well knew that each kind has its own proper place, and that, together with the right occasion, both this and that are fine. But you, fastening upon the brevity of my writing, straightway made this very thing the starting point of another accusation, being a slanderer in both respects. For while you were prosecuting the letter on the ground of its length [i.e. its shortness], with your anger you again fabricated yet another charge: some leather parchment, I suppose, that was not delivered. Such a marvelous fabricator you have become to us, inasmuch as you inhabit a city teeming with fabrications. But our city, though smaller than yours, does not perhaps instill pettiness of soul. Nor indeed, my good fellow, do we conduct the rest of our affairs in so lowly a fashion as to have leisure to ponder whether so-and-so, having taken this thing, is keeping hold of it. Do not mock the sophists among you, who have those things which sophists must have: largeness of houses, a multitude of young men, spaciousness of belly, knowing how to be a slave; for among you it is a great thing for happiness to have cowered down, and the more slavish a man is, the more eloquent than another. And while you think you are doing the deeds of a friend toward me, know that you are doing the deeds of an enemy. For you are working to bring it about that I should return to you; and this, if you do it in ignorance of the circumstances in which I happen to be when you press so eagerly, then perhaps your ignorance is that of one who does not love me; but if you do it knowingly—out of how great a tempest into how great a peace I have come—and you drag me from peace back again toward the tempest, you are not at all proving a Theseus toward Pirithous. So it seems that we are blaming you, who are a friend, while praising the one who is not a friend, the governor. For even if his intention is that of one who hates me, yet his deed is that of one who benefits me. For he prevents me from coming—thereby granting me this first favor: not to set eyes on Cleomenes. With whom, if you are still keeping company, do not go on deceiving me; but if you are not keeping company with him, what would you reasonably suffer, you who loved the very man you were going to flee, and that too when you were about to grieve another man who is noble and good and prudent and more powerful? But, my dearest Andronicus, cease from your intimacy with the dog [Cleomenes], if you have not already ceased; and cease from trying to stir me from here. Take good counsel concerning the matters that relate to our uncle, and release me from such service. For I see that the affair is proceeding toward something gentle.

Ἀνδρονίκῳ. (355) Ποίοις Βοιωτοῖς συγγενόμενος ἀποβέβληκας τὴν περὶ τοὺς λόγους τέχνην; οὐ γὰρ ἐκεῖνό γε Ἀνδρονίκου τὸ τὰς μὲν μακρὰς ἐπιστολὰς ἐπαινεῖν πανταχοῦ, τὰς δὲ οὐ μακρὰς ἐλαύ- νειω, ἀλλ’ εὖ ᾔδεις ὡς ἑκατέρῳ τε ἰνὶ χώρα καὶ μετὰ τοῦ καιροῦ καὶ τοῦτο κἀκεῖνο καλόν. σὺ δὲ ἐπιλαβόμενος τῆς ἐν τοῖς γράμμασι βραχύτητος αὐτὸ τοῦτο εὐθὺς ἑτέρας ἐποιοῦ κατηγορίας ἀφορμὴν συκοφάντης ὢν ἐν ἀμφοῖν. διώκων γὰρ τὴν ἐπιστολὴν ἐπὶ τῷ μέτρῳ τῇ γε ὀργῇ πάλιν ἄλλην αἰτίαν ἔπλασας, διφθέραν οἶμαί τινα οὐκ ἀποδοθεῖσαν. οὕτω θαυμαστὸς ἡμῖν πλάστης γέγονας ἅτε πόλιν οἰκῶν γέμουσαν πλασμάτων. ἡμῖν δὲ πόλις μὲν τῆς ὑμετέρας μικροτέρα, μικρο- ψυχίαν δὲ ἴσως οὐκ ἐντίθησιν. οὐδέ γε, ὦ δαιμόνιε, τἄλλα οὕτω ταπεινῶς πράττομεν ὥστ’ ἔχειν σχολὴν ἐννοεῖν, εἰ τόδε ὁ δεῖνα λαβὼν κατέχει. τῶν δὲ παρ’ ὑμῖν σοφιστῶν μὴ καταγέλα, οἷς ἐστιν ἃ σοφισταῖς εἶναι δεῖ, μέγεθος οἰκιῶν, πλῆθος νέων, γαστρὸς εὐρυχωρία, τὸ δουλεύειν εἰδέναι· μέγα γὰρ εἰς εὐδαιμονίαν παρ’ ὑμῖν τὸ κατεπτηχέναι καὶ ὁ δουλό- τερος ἑτέρου ῥητοὸικώτερος. εἰς ἐμὲ δὲ οἰόμενος τὰ φίλου ποιεῖν ἴσθι τὰ πολεμίου δρῶν. πράττεις μὲν γάρ, ὅπως ὑμῖν ἐπανέλθοιμι, τοῦτο δὲ εἰ μὲν ἀγνοῶν, ἐν οἷς ὢν τυγχάνω προ- θυμῇ, τάχα οὐ φιλοῦντος ἡ ἄγνοια· εἰ δ’ ἐπιστάμενος, ἐξ ὅσης ζάλης εἰς ὅσην εἰρήνην ἥκω, πρὸς τὴν ζάλην αὖθις ἐκ τῆς εἰρήνης ἕλκεις, οὐ πάνυ γίγνῃ Θησεὺς εἰς Πειρίθουν. ὥστ’ ἐοίκαμεν σοὶ μὲν μέμφεσθαι τῷ φίλῳ, τὸν δὲ οὐ φίλον ἐπαι- νεῖν τὸν ἄρχοντα. καὶ γὰρ εἰ ἡ γνώμη μισοῦντος, ἀλλὰ τό γε ἔργον ὠφελοῦντος. κωλύει γάρ με μὴ ἐλθεῖν ν τοῦτό μοι πρῶ- τον χαριζόμενος τὸ μὴ Κλεομένην ἰδεῖν. ᾧ σὺ συνὼν μὲν ἔτι μή με ἐξαπάτα· μὴ συνὼν δὲ τί πάθοις ἂν εἰκότως, ὃς ὃν ἔμελλες φεύξεσθαι, τοῦτον ἠγάπας, καὶ ταῦτα μέλλων ἕτερον ἀνιάσειν καλὸν κἀγαθὸν καὶ σώφρονα καὶ δυνατώτερον; ἀλλ’, ὦ φίλτατε Ἀνδρόνικε, παῦσαι μὲν τῆς πρὸς τὸν κύνα συνη- θείας, εἰ μὴ πέπαυσαι· παῦσαι δὲ τοῦ πειρᾶσθαί με ἐνθένδε κινεῖν. βούλευσαι δὲ περὶ τῶν πρὸς τὸν θεῖον βουλὴν ἀγαθὴν ἀφείς με τῆς τοιαύτης διακονίας. ὁρῶ γὰρ ὡς ἐπί τι πρᾷον τὸ πρᾶγμα βαδίζει.