Letter 375: Those of us who did not share in the wedding feast deserved at least a letter about the marriage, telling us that...

To Calycius. (358) For us who had no share in the wedding banquets, at the very least a letter about the marriage ought to have come from you, making clear that as for those matters all is well with you, and that as for oratory you are now attending to it by yourself, but a little while hence again together with us. But you seem to have forgotten us, and I fear you may have forgotten oratory along with us. Yet this is not right, my excellent young man, sprung from good men. For consider who your father is, and who your father-in-law. Is it not Hierocles in the one case, Acacius in the other, both illustrious men? What then made them great? Was it strength of body, or swiftness of foot, or abundance of money? No, by Zeus, but one noble thing, in which it would have been better for Midas too to have a share than to possess all that gold which is spoken of; for it was through being able to speak that they came to that station in which they now are. How then is it not a dreadful thing that Cimon emulated his father in feats of arms, while you should appear inferior to your father's strength in the law courts, and that you should make it your ambition to live with an orator's daughter, yet should let slip the share of oratory you possess when it lies open to you to add as much as is still lacking? I urge you, then, in summer to bring back again into your memory the things that have departed from it, and in winter to compose orations under our guidance. And your wife will certainly come, exhorting you and joining in the prayer that the beauty that comes through oratory may belong to you, rather than that of Nireus. And do not for your part suppose it shameful, when one is married, to keep company with the Muses. For that which is by nature noble is at no time not noble, and greater is the praise of pursuing the chase out of eagerness when one has been released from it by the law. From this chase you will gladden friends and frighten foes, and the one sort you will be able to benefit, the other to drag down. Consider too that even Socrates, being wise, as the god declares, did not shun learning in old age, believing that it is always the right time to learn. There is nothing dreadful in being bent over books while one's wife is present; this is indeed most delightful, in the presence of one in whose eyes you would wish to stand well, and with her looking on to be doing something noble. Moreover, if your father does not stir you toward these things, not thinking that you will rise to them, show yourself better than that expectation of his; but if he does stir you and you do not attend to him, you must of necessity both grieve him and be grieved. And this is, while seeking ease, to live in unpleasantness. But, dearest friend, having reckoned how great a festival you will make for your parents and your kinsmen by marriage, and for your uncle who is the best of all men, and for your good wife, and for me who have toiled much over you, now fill yourself with the writings of the ancients, and when the farmers' labors about the wine-presses have already ceased, come here yourself with good fortune.

Καλυκίῳ. (358) Ἡμῖν τοῖς οὐ μετασχοῦσι τῶν γαμικῶν δείπνων γράμ- ματα γοῦν ἐχρῆν περὶ τῶν γάμων ἐλθεῖν παρὰ σοῦ δηλοῦντα ὡς τὰ μὲν ἔχει σοι καλῶς, τῶν δὲ λόγων νῦν μὲν ἐπὶ σαυτοῦ φροντίζεις, μικρὸν δὲ ὕστερον αὖθις σῦν ἡμῖν. σὺ δ’ ἔοι- κας ἡμῶν ἐπιλελῆσθαι καὶ δέδοικα μὴ μεθ’ ἡμῶν καὶ τῶν λόγων. ἀλλ’ οὐ δίκαιον, ὦ βέλτιστε καὶ ἐξ ἀγαθῶν νεανίσκε. λογίζου γάρ, τίς μέν σοι πατήρ, τίς δέ σοι κηδεστής. οὐκοῦν Ἱεροκλῆς μὲν οὗτος, Ἀκάκιος δὲ ἐκεῖνος, ἄμφω λαμπρώ; τί οὖν αὐτοὺς ἐποίησε μεγάλους; ἆρα ἰσχὺς σώματος ἢ ποδῶν τάχος ἢ πλῆθος χρημάτων; οὐ μὰ Δία, ἀλλ’ ἔν τι γενναῖον, οὗ καὶ Μίδα βέλτιον ἂν ἦν μετασχεῖν ἢ σχεῖν ὁπόσον δὴ λἐ- γεται χρυσόν λέγειν γὰρ δυνηθέντες εἰς τοῦθ’ ἧκον, ἐν ᾧπέρ εἰσι. πῶς οὖν οὐ δεινὸν Κίμωνα μὲν τὰ ἐν τοῖς ὅπλοις ζηλῶσαι τοῦ πατρός, σὲ δὲ χείρω φανῆναι τῆς τοῦ πατρὸς ἐν δικαστηρίοις ἰσχύος, καὶ φιλοτιμεῖσθαι μὲν τῷ θυγατρὶ ῥήτο- ρος συνοικεῖν, ὅσον δὲ κέκτησαι ῥητορικῆς προέσθαι παρὸν ὁπόσον ἄπεστι προσλαβεῖν; παραινῶ δή σοι τῷ θέρει μὲν τὰ ἀπελθόντα τῆς μνήμης αὖθις εἰσάγειν, τοῦ χειμῶνος δὲ πλάττειν λόγους ὑφ’ ἡμῖν. ἡ γυνὴ δὲ πάντως ἴψεται παρακα- λοῦσα καὶ συνευχομένη γενέσθαι σοι τὸ διὰ λόγων κάλλος ἢ τὸ Νιρέως. σὺ δὲ μήτοι νομίσῃς αἰσχρὸν ἐπὶ γάμῳ κοινω- νεῖν μουσείων. τὸ γὰρ δὴ φύσει καλὸν οὐκ ἔστιν ὅτε οὐκ ἔστι καλόν, καὶ μείζων ἔπαινος ἀφειμένον παρὰ τοῦ νόμου προ- θυμίᾳ μετιέναι τὴν θήραν. ἀφ’ ἧς εὐφρανεῖς μὲν φίλους, φοβήσεις δὲ δυσμενεῖς, καὶ τοὺς μὲν ἕξεις ὠφελεῖν, τοὺς δὲ κατασύρειν. ἐνθυμοῦ δὲ ὅτι καὶ Σωκράτης σοφὸς ὤν, ὥς φησιν ὁ θεός, τὰς ἐν γήρᾳ μαθήσεις οὐκ ἔφευγεν ἀεὶ καιρὸν εἶναι νομίζων μανθάνειν. οὐδὲν δεινὸν ἐγκεῖσθαι βιβλίοις παρούσης γυναικός, τοῦτο μὲν οὖν ἥδιστον παρ’ ᾗ βούλοιο ἂν εὐδοκιμεῖν, καὶ ταύτης ὁρώσης καλόν τι ποιεῖν. καὶ μὴν εἰ μὲν οὐ κινεῖ σε πρὸς ταῦτα ὁ πατὴρ οὐκ οἰόμενός σε ἀναστή- σεῖν, κρείττων φάνηθι τῆς ἐλπίδος ἐκείνου· κινοῦντος δὲ εἰ μὴ προσέχοις, ἀνάγκη λυπεῖν τε καὶ λυπεῖσθαι. τοῦτο δέ ἐστι ζητοῦντα ῥᾳστώνην ἐν ἀηδίᾳ ζῆν. ἀλλ᾿, ὦ φίλτατε, λογι- σάμενος, ἡλίκην ποιήσεις πανήγυριν καὶ γονεῦσι καὶ κηδεσταῖς καὶ τῷ πάντα ἀρίστῳ θείῳ καὶ τῇ χρηστῇ γυναικὶ καὶ ἐμοὶ τῷ πολλὰ περὶ σὲ πεπονηκότι, νῦν μὲν ἔμπλησον σαυτὸν πα- λαιῶν συγγραμμάτων, γεωργῶν δὲ ἤδη τῶν περὶ τὰς ληνοὺς πεπαυμένων αὐτὸς ἥκειν δεῦρο τύχῃ ἀγαθῇ.