Marcus Cornelius Fronto→Marcus Aurelius|c. 145 AD|Marcus Cornelius Fronto|From Rome (career hub)|To Rome (career hub)|AI-assisted
Fronto to Herodes
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... rather ... us; but to keep within measure in the lesser misfortunes is not hard. For in every case to lament and bewail at every turn, beyond what is fitting, is unbecoming in a man of education [paideia, the cultivated learning that marks an educated man] ... For my part, I would more readily overstep due measure in rejoicing than in grieving. For to be carried away unreasonably toward pleasure is more to be chosen than toward distress.
But neither has the time of your life passed away for the rearing of other children. And while every loss is hard when the hope attached to it is also cut off, it is easier to bear when there remains a hope of recovery; and the man who has not waited for that hope is ignoble, and far harsher toward himself than Fortune is. For Fortune has taken away what was present, but he has robbed himself of his hope as well.
Now I will teach you the source from which you might most easily find some comfort, having learned it myself by experience and not by wisdom. It has always been my lot, when I was in love, to suffer some grievous thing. I loved at one time Athenodotus the philosopher, at another Dionysius the rhetor. And indeed, when I considered this, that the one I happened to love was kept safe for me, I was less liable to be overcome by grief and by the things that befell me. But if you too are in love with some young man, noble and outstanding in virtue, in education, in fortune, and in self-control, you would do no wrong in setting out toward him and placing in him all your security of good things; for, as long as this man survives for us (for I declare that I am your rival in love, and I do not conceal it), all our other troubles are easily healed and rank far behind this.
? 144–145 A.D. . . . . . . . . . . . . But in lesser evils to act with composure is not difficult. For, indeed, in any case to resent an evil, even if it befall unexpectedly, is unseemly for a man who has tasted of education. But it is in joy that I should be more ready to overstep the bounds, for if we are to act unreasonably it is preferable to do so in reference to pleasure than to pain. But you are not even too old to rear other children. Every loss is grievous if hope be cut off with it, but easier to bear if hope of repairing it be left. And he that does not avail himself of this hope is mean-spirited and his own enemy, much more than Fortune. For Fortune takes away the present reality, but he deprives himself of hope as well. And I will tell you where you can most easily get consolation, as I have learnt by experience and not by learning. Often has it been my fate to suffer in my affections. At one time it was Athenodotus the philosopher, at another Dionysius the rhetor that I loved: and yet, when I reflected that he was preserved to me whom it was my fortune to love, I was less at the mercy of grief and circumstance. But if you as well as I love a noble youth, distinguished for virtue and learning and fortune and modesty, you cannot go wrong if you attach yourself to him and set in him all your assurance of good fortune, since as long as he remains to us—for I confess, and make no secret of it, that I am your rival in his love—everything else is remediable and of infinitely less importance than this.
... rather ... us; but to keep within measure in the lesser misfortunes is not hard. For in every case to lament and bewail at every turn, beyond what is fitting, is unbecoming in a man of education [paideia, the cultivated learning that marks an educated man] ... For my part, I would more readily overstep due measure in rejoicing than in grieving. For to be carried away unreasonably toward pleasure is more to be chosen than toward distress.
But neither has the time of your life passed away for the rearing of other children. And while every loss is hard when the hope attached to it is also cut off, it is easier to bear when there remains a hope of recovery; and the man who has not waited for that hope is ignoble, and far harsher toward himself than Fortune is. For Fortune has taken away what was present, but he has robbed himself of his hope as well.
Now I will teach you the source from which you might most easily find some comfort, having learned it myself by experience and not by wisdom. It has always been my lot, when I was in love, to suffer some grievous thing. I loved at one time Athenodotus the philosopher, at another Dionysius the rhetor. And indeed, when I considered this, that the one I happened to love was kept safe for me, I was less liable to be overcome by grief and by the things that befell me. But if you too are in love with some young man, noble and outstanding in virtue, in education, in fortune, and in self-control, you would do no wrong in setting out toward him and placing in him all your security of good things; for, as long as this man survives for us (for I declare that I am your rival in love, and I do not conceal it), all our other troubles are easily healed and rank far behind this.
AI-assisted translation - This translation was produced with AI assistance and has not been peer-reviewed. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek below for scholarly use.