Letter 24: Cicero writes to Quintus in Gaul from Tusculum in October or November 54 BC.

Letters V and VI. Written at the Tusculan villa, at the end of October or the beginning of November, 700 from the founding of the city [54 BC]. From Marcus to his brother Quintus, greetings. 1. As to your question, what I have done about those books which I set about writing while I was at my Cuman villa: I have not slackened, nor do I slacken now, but I have already several times altered the whole plan and method of my writing. For when two books had already been finished, in which a conversation was set by me during the nine-day games that fell in the consulship of Tuditanus and Aquilius, between Africanus, a little before his death, and Laelius, Philus, Manilius, Publius Rutilius, Quintus Tubero, and Laelius's sons-in-law Fannius and Scaevola—a conversation moreover distributed over nine days and nine books, on the best constitution of the commonwealth and on the best citizen (and the work was being woven together quite brilliantly, and the high standing of the men gave no little weight to the discourse)—these books, when they were being read aloud to me at my Tusculan villa with Sallustius listening, prompted from him the warning that these matters could be discussed with far greater authority if I myself were to speak about the commonwealth, especially since I was no Heraclides Ponticus [a Greek philosopher who set his dialogues among earlier figures], but a man of consular rank, and one who had been engaged in the greatest affairs of state; that the things I was assigning to men of such ancient date would seem to be fictions; that in those books of mine which are about the theory of speaking I had done well to keep the conversation of the orators apart from myself, yet had referred it to men whom I had myself seen; and finally that Aristotle, in what he writes about the commonwealth and the eminent man, speaks in his own person. 2. He moved me, and the more so because I could not touch upon the greatest upheavals of our commonwealth, since these were later than the age of the men who were speaking; whereas I had at the time aimed at precisely this, that by running into our own times I might give offense to no one. Now I shall both avoid that and speak in my own person with you, and yet those things which I had begun I will send to you, if I come to Rome; for I think you will judge that I did not leave those books aside without some vexation of mine. 3. By Caesar's affection, which he set out fully to me in writing, I am singularly delighted; on the promises which he holds out I do not greatly rely: I neither thirst for honors nor crave glory, and I look forward more to the permanence of his goodwill than even to his promises; yet I live amid that same ambition and toil with which I might be awaiting the very thing I do not demand. As to your asking me about composing verses, it is incredible, my brother, how short of time I am, nor indeed am I sufficiently stirred in spirit to sing of the things you wish. Do you really seek from me [originally in Greek: "songs"] on subjects which I cannot attain even by thinking—you who have surpassed everyone in that very style of expression and description? I would do it nonetheless, if I could, but, as is by no means hidden from you, for poetry there is need of a certain liveliness of spirit, which my circumstances utterly snatch away from me. 4. I do indeed withdraw myself from all concern for the commonwealth and give myself over to literature, but nevertheless I will disclose to you what, by Hercules, I particularly wished kept from you: I am in anguish, my sweetest brother, in anguish that there is no commonwealth, no courts of law, and that this time of my life, which ought to be in full flower in that senatorial authority, is either tossed about by labor in the forum or propped up by private studies; and that the thing I had set my heart on from boyhood, [originally in Greek] "Ever to be the best and to surpass all others," [a line of Homer] has wholly perished; that my enemies have in part not been attacked by me, and in part have even been defended; that not only my will, but not even my hatred, is free; and that one man alone out of all has been found, namely Caesar, who loves me as much as I could wish—or even, as others think, that he is the one man who is willing to: yet none of these things is of such a kind that I do not soothe myself daily with much consolation; but that consolation will be the greatest, if we are together: as it is, to those grievances there is added even the most weighty—my longing for you. 5. If I had defended Gabinius, as Pansa thought I should have, I would have fallen; those who hate him—and they are entire orders [of society]—would have begun to hate me myself on account of the very man for whose sake they hate. I held myself back, as I think, admirably, doing only so much as everyone saw; and on the whole, as you advise, I am turning myself strongly toward leisure and peace. 6. About the books: Tyrannio is a dawdler; I will speak to Chrysippus, but it is a laborious business and one for a most painstaking man: I feel it myself, who with the greatest effort accomplish nothing. As for the Latin books, I do not know where to turn: so faultily are they both copied and sold; but nevertheless, what can be done I will not neglect. Crebrius, as I wrote to you before, is at Rome, and people who would assent to anything report emphatically that he is greatly obliged to you. I think the matter with the treasury has been settled while I have been away. 7. When you write that you finished four tragedies in sixteen days, are you borrowing anything from anyone else? And do you ask for [originally in Greek: a loan / borrowed material], when you have written an Electra and a Troades? Do not be a dawdler, and do not think that the saying [originally in Greek] "know thyself" was meant only for the diminishing of arrogance, but also so that we may recognize our own good qualities. But I should like you to send me both these tragedies and the Erigona. There you have a reply to your last two letters.

You ask me what I have done about the books which I begun to write when in my Cuman villa: I have not been idle and am not being idle now; but I have frequently changed the whole plan and arrangement of the work. I had already completed two books, in which I represented a conversation taking place on the Novendialia held in the consulship of Tuditanus and Aquilius, between Africanus, shortly before his death, and Laelius, Philus, Manilius, P. Rutilius, Q. Tubero, and Laelius's sons-in-law, Fannius and Scaevola; a conversation which was extended to nine days and the same number of books "On the best Constitution of the State" and "On the best Citizen." The work was excellently composed, and the rank of the speakers added considerable weight to the style. But when these books were read to me in the presence of Sallustius at Tusculum, it was suggested to me by him that a discourse on such subjects would come with much greater force if I were myself the speaker on the Republic, especially as I was a no mere Heraclides Ponticus, but an ex-consul, and one who had been engaged in the most important affairs in the state: that when I put them in the mouth of men of such ancient date they would have an air of unreality: that I had shewn good taste in my books about the science of rhetoric in keeping the dialogue of the orators apart from myself, and yet had attributed it to men whom I had personally seen: and, finally, that Aristotle delivers in the first person his essays "On the Republic" and "On the Eminent Man." I was influenced the more by this from the fact that I was unable to touch on the most important commotions in our state, because they were subsequent to the age of the speakers. Moreover, my express object then was not to offend anyone by launching into the events of my own time: as it is, I shall avoid that and at the same time be the speaker with you. Nevertheless, when I come to Rome I will send you the dialogues as they originally stood. For I fancy that those books will convince you that they have not been abandoned by me without some chagrin. I am extremely gratified by Caesar's affection of which you write to me. The offers which he holds out I do not much reckon on, nor have I any thirst for honours or longing for glory; and I look forward more to the continuation of his kindness than to the fulfillment of his promises. Still, I live a life so prominent and laborious that I might seem to be expecting the very thing that I deprecate. As to your request that I should compose some verses, you could hardly believe, my dear brother, how short of time I am: nor do I feel much moved in spirit to write poetry on the subject you mention. Do you really come to me for disquisitions on things that I can scarcely conceive even in imagination—you who have distanced everybody in that style of vivid and descriptive writing? Yet I would have done it if I could, but, as you will assuredly not fail to notice, for writing poetry there is need of a certain freshness of mind of which my occupations entirely deprive me. I withdraw myself, it is true, from all political anxiety and devote myself to literature; still, I will hint to you what, by heaven, I specially wished to have concealed from you. It cuts me to the heart, my dearest brother, to the heart, to think that there is no Republic, no law courts, and that my present time of life, which ought to have been in the full bloom of senatorial dignity, is distracted with the labours of the forum or eked out by private studies, and that the object on which from boyhood I had set my heart, :Far to excel, and tower above the crowd, is entirely gone: that my opponents have in some cases been left unattacked by me, in others even defended: that not only my sympathies, but my very dislikes, are not free: and that Caesar is the one man in the world who has been found to love me to my heart's Content, or even, as others think, the only one who was inclined to do so. However, there is none of all these vexations of such a kind as to be beyond the reach of many daily consolations; but the greatest of consolations will be our being together. As it is, to those other sources of vexation there is added my very deep regret for your absence. If I had defended Gabinius, which Pansa thought I ought to have done, I should have been quite ruined: those who hate him--and that is entire orders—would have begun to hate me for the sake of their hatred for him. I confined myself, as I think with great dignity, to doing only that which all the world saw me do. And to sum up the whole case, I am, as you advise, devoting all my efforts to tranquillity and peace. As to the books: Tyrannio is a slow-coach: I will speak to Chrysippus, but it is a laborious business and requires a man of the utmost industry. I find it in my own case, for, though I am as diligent as possible, I get nothing done. As to the Latin books, I don't know which way to turn—they are copied and exposed for sale with such a quantity of errors! However, whatever can possibly be done I will not neglect to do. Gaius Rebilus, as I wrote to you before, is at Rome. He solemnly affirms his great obligations to you, and reports well of your health. I think the question of the treasury was settled in my absence. When you speak of having finished four tragedies in sixteen days, I presume you are borrowing from some one else? And do you deign to be indebted to others after writing the Electra and the Troades? Don't be idle; and don't think the proverbial gnôthi seauton was only meant to discourage vanity: it means also that we should be aware of our own qualities. But pray send me these tragedies as well as the Erigona. I have now answered your last two letters.

V. & VI. Scr. in Tusculano exeunte mense Oct. aut ineunte Novembri a.u.c. 700. MARCUS QUINTO FRATRI SALUTEM. 1. Quod quaeris, quid de illis libris egerim, quos, cum essem in Cumano, scribere institui, non cessavi neque cesso, sed saepe iam scribendi totum consilium rationemque mutavi; nam iam duobus factis libris, in quibus novendialibus iis ferris, quae fuerunt Tuditano et Aquilio consulibis, sermo est a me institutus Africano paullo ante mortem et Laelii, Phili, Manilii, P. Rutilii, Q. Tuberonis et Laelii generorum, Fannii et Scaevolae, sermo autem in novem et dies et libros distributus de optimo statu civitatis et de optimo cive—sane texebatur opus luculente hominumque dignitas aliquantum orationi ponderis afferebat—, ii libri cum in Tusculano mihi legerentur audiente Sallustio, admonitus sum ab illo multo maiore auctoritate illis de rebus dici posse, si ipse loquerer de re publica, praesertim cum essem non Heraclides Ponticus, sed consularis et is, qui in maximis versatus in re publica rebus essem; quae tam antiquis hominibus attribuerem, ea visum iri ficta esse; oratorum sermonem in illis nostris libris, qui essent de ratione dicendi, belle a me removisse, ad eos tamen rettulisse, quos ipse vidissem; Aristotelem denique, quae de re publica et praestanti viro scribat, ipsum loqui. 2. Commovit me, et eo magis, quod maximos motus nostrae civitatis attingere non poteram, quod erant inferiores quam illorum aetas, qui loquebantur; ego autem id ipsum tum eram secutus, ne in nostra tempora incurrens offenderem quempiam. Nunc et id vitabo et loquar ipse tecum, et tamen illa, quae institueram, ad te, si Romam venero, mittam; puto enim te existimaturum a me illos libros non sine aliquo meo stomacho esse relictos. 3. Caesaris amore, quem ad me perscripsit, unice delector; promissis iis, quae ostendit, non valde pendeo: nec sitio honores nec desidero gloriam, magisque eius voluntatis perpetuitatem quam promissorum etiam exspecto; vivo tamen in ea ambitione et labore, quam id, quod non postulo, exspectem. Quod me de versibus faciendis rogas, incredibile est, mi frater, quam egeam tempore, nec sane satis commoveor animo ad ea, quae vis, canenda. ampôeis vero ad ea, quae ipse ego ne cogitando quidem consequor, tu, qui omnes isto eloquendi et exprimendi genere superasti, a me petis? Facerem tamen, ut possem, sed, quod te minime fugit, opus est ad poema quadam animi alacritate, quam plane mihi tempora eripiunt. Abduco me equidem ab omni rei publicae cura dedoque litteris, sed tamen indicabo tibi, quod mehercule in primis te celatum volebam: angor, mi suavissime frater, angor nullam esse rem publicam, nulla iudicia, nostrumque hoc tempus aetatis, quod in illa auctoritate senatoria florere debebat, aut forensi labore iactari aut domesticis litteris sustentari, illud vero, quod a puero adamaram, Pollon aristeuein kai hupeirochon emmenai allôn totum occidisse, inimicos a me partim non oppugnatos, partim etiam esse defensos, meum non modo animum, sed ne odium quidem esse liberum, unumque ex omnibus Caesarem esse inventum, qui me tantum, quantum ego vellem, amaret, aut etiam, sicut alii putant, hunc unum esse, qui velit: quorum tamen nihil est eiusmodi, ut ego me non multa consolatione quotidie leniam; sed illa erit consolatio maxima, si una erimus: nunc ad illa vel gravissimum accedit desiderium tui. 5. Gabinius si, ut Pansa putat oportuisse, defendissem, concidissem; qui illum oderunt—ii sunt toti ordines—, propter quem oderunt, me ipsum odisse coepissent. Tenui me, ut puto, egregie, tantum ut facerem, quantum omnes viderunt; et in omni summa, ut mones, valde me ad otium pacemque converto. 6. De libris, Tyrannio est cessator; Chrysippo dicam, sed res operosa est et hominis perdiligentis: sentio ipse, qui in summo studio nihil assequor. De Latinis vero, quo me vertam, nescio: ita mendose et scribuntur et veneunt; sed tamen, quod fieri poterit, non negligam. Crebrius, ut ante ad te scripsi, Romae est, et qui omnia adnuat, debere tibi valde renuntiant. Ab aerario puto confectum esse, dum absum. 7. Quattuor tragoedias sedecim diebus absolvisse cum scribas, tu quidquam ab alio mutuaris? et kr°ow quaeris, cum Electram et Troadas scripseris? cessator esse noli et illud gnôthi seauton noli putare ad arrogantium minuendam solum esse dictum, verum etiam ut bona nostra norimus. Sed et istas et Erigonam mihi velim mittas. Habes ad duas epistulas proximas.