Marcus Tullius Cicero→Gaius Matius|c. 43 BC|Cicero|From Rome|To Rome|AI-assisted
I have not yet decided whether our Trebatius, so dutiful and so devoted to both of us, brought me more pain or more pleasure. I had arrived at Tusculum in the evening, and early the next morning he came to see me, though his health was still not fully restored. When I scolded him for taking too little care of himself, he said that nothing had seemed longer to him than the wait to see me.
"Has anything new happened?" I asked. He brought me your complaint. Before I answer it, I will set out a few things.
As far back as I can recall, I have no older friend than you. But age of friendship is something I share with many; affection is not. I loved you from the day I came to know you, and I judged that I was loved by you. Later, your long absence, my own public career, and the different course of our lives did not allow our goodwill to be cemented by constant companionship.
Still, I recognized your feeling for me many years before the civil war, when Caesar was in Gaul. You brought about something you thought very useful to me and not useless to Caesar himself: that he should love me, honor me, and count me among his own. I pass over many things that, in those times, were spoken, written, and shared between us in the greatest intimacy, because heavier events followed.
At the beginning of the civil war, when you were going toward Brundisium to Caesar, you came to me at Formiae. First, how much that alone meant, especially at that time. Then, do you think I have forgotten your advice, your conversation, your kindness? I remember that Trebatius was present for it. Nor have I forgotten the letter you sent me after you had met Caesar, I think, in the district of Trebula.
Then came the time when either my sense of honor, or duty, or fortune forced me to set out for Pompey. What service, what zeal of yours was lacking either for me in my absence or for my people who were present? Whom did all my family judge more friendly either to me or to themselves? I came to Brundisium. Do you think I have forgotten how quickly, as soon as you heard, you flew to me from Tarentum? Or how you sat with me, spoke with me, and strengthened a spirit broken by fear of the common disasters?
At last we began to be in Rome. What was lacking in our intimacy? In the greatest matters, I used your counsel about how I should conduct myself toward Caesar; in the rest, I used your service. Apart from Caesar, to whom but me did you give such attention, coming often to my house and spending many hours in the sweetest conversation? Then too, if you remember, you urged me to write these philosophical works.
After Caesar's return, what mattered more to you than making me as close to him as possible? You had accomplished that.
Why has this speech run longer than I intended? Because I was amazed that you, who ought to know these things, believed that I had done anything alien to our friendship. Besides the things I have recalled, things witnessed and public, I have many more private memories, which I can scarcely put into words. Everything about you delights me, but most of all your extraordinary loyalty in friendship, your judgment, seriousness, and constancy, and also your charm, humanity, and learning.
So now I return to your complaint. At first, I did not believe that you had voted for that law. Then, if I had believed it, I would never have thought that you did it without some just reason. Your standing makes whatever you do noticed; human ill will makes some things reported more harshly than you did them. If you do not hear this, I hardly know what to say. Whenever I hear it, I defend you, just as I know you are used to defending me against unfair critics.
My defense has two parts. Some things I simply deny, as with that very vote. Others I defend as done by you loyally and humanely, as with your care of the games. But it does not escape you, a very learned man, that if Caesar was a king, as I think he was, your duty can be argued in two directions. One is the argument I usually use: your loyalty and humanity should be praised, because you loved your friend even after death. The other is the argument some people use: the liberty of the fatherland should be preferred to the life of a friend.
If only my side of those debates had been reported to you. As for the two points that are greatest among your praises, who recalls them more gladly or more often than I do? You were the weightiest voice against undertaking civil war, and you were the weightiest voice for moderating victory. On this point I have found no one who did not agree with me.
So I am grateful to Trebatius, our friend, for giving me the occasion for this letter. If you do not believe it, you will judge me empty of every duty and every humanity. Nothing could be more painful to me, or more alien to you.
DCCLXXXI (Fam. XI, 27) TO C. MATIUS (AT ROME) TUSCULUM (END OF AUGUST) I have not yet been able to make up my mind whether Trebatius — kind man and devoted friend of us both-brought me more pain or pleasure. The fact is that I having reached Tusculum in the evening, early next day he called on me: though he was not fully recovered. I scolded him for not being sufficiently considerate of his weak health: but he said that nothing had been more wearisome to him than waiting to see me. “Nothing fresh happened, has there?” said I. Then he told me of your grievance. But before I answer it I will put before you a few facts. As far back as I can remember I have no older friend than your-self. But after all the length of a friendship is something in which many others share. Not so warmth of affection. I became attached to you the first day I knew you, and formed the opinion that you were attached to me. After that your absence — which was a very prolonged one — my own official career, and the different line we took in life did not allow our inclinations to be cemented by a constant intercourse. Nevertheless, I had proof of your affection for me many years before the civil war, when Caesar was in Gaul. For you secured what you were strongly of opinion was to my advantage and not without advantage to Caesar himself — that the latter should like me, pay me attention, and rate me among his friends. I pass over instances in those times of words, letters, and various communications of the most friendly character passing between us. For a more dangerous crisis followed: and at the beginning of the civil war, when you were on your way to Brundisium to join Caesar , you came to call on me at Formiae . How much that implies in itself, to begin with, especially at such a crisis! And in the next place, do you suppose that I have forgotten your advice, conversation, and kindly interest? And in these I remember that Trebatius took part. Nor, again, have I for gotten the letter you sent me after you had met Caesar in the district, if I remember rightly, of Trebula . Then followed the period in which whether you call it shame or duty or fortune compelled me to go abroad to join Pompey . What service or zeal was wanting on your part, either towards myself when away from town, or my family, who were still there? Whom did all my family regard as more warmly attached either to me or to themselves? I came to Brundisium : do you suppose that I have forgotten with what speed you flew to me from Tarentum , as soon as you heard of it? Or, of how patiently you sat by my side, talked to me, and strengthened my courage, which had been broken by the dread of the universal ruin? At length our residence at Rome began: could anything be more intimate than we were? In questions of the first importance I consulted you as to my attitude towards Caesar , and in other matters availed myself of your good offices. Setting Caesar aside, whom else but me did you so far distinguish as to visit constantly at home, where you often spent many hours in the most delightful conversation? And it was then too, if you remember, that you instigated me to write these philosophical works. After Caesar 's return, was there any object dearer to you than that I should be on the terms of closest friendship with him? And this you had accomplished. To what end, therefore, is this preamble which has run to greater length than I anticipated? Why, to explain my surprise that you, who were bound to have known all this, should have believed me capable of having done anything incompatible with our friendship. For besides these facts, which are well attested and as clear as the day, I could mention many others of a more secret nature, such as I can hardly express in words. Everything about you gives me pleasure: but above all your surpassing fidelity in friendship, the prudence, trustworthiness and consistency of your character, as well as the charm of your manners, the cultivation of your intellect, and your knowledge of literature. This being understood, I return to your statement of grievance. That you voted for that law I at first refused to believe. In the next place, if I had believed it, I should never have believed that you did so without some sound reason. Your rank makes it inevitable that whatever you do should be noticed: while the ill-nature of the world causes certain things to be represented in a harsher light than your actions have really warranted. If you never hear such observations I don't know what to say. For my part, whenever I hear them I defend you, as I know that I am always defended by you against my detractors. Now my line of defence is twofold. There are some statements which I meet with a blank denial, as about that very vote of yours. Others I defend on the ground of the loyalty and kindness of your motives, as in regard to the superintendence of the games. But it does not escape a mind so highly cultivated as yours that, if Caesar was a tyrant — as I think he was-two opposite theories are capable of being maintained in regard to your services. One is mine — when I hold that your loyalty and kindness are to be commended for showing affection to a friend, even after his death. The opposite theory, advanced by some, is that the liberty of our country is to be preferred to the life of a friend. From such discussions as these I only wish that the arguments I have advanced had come to your ears! Two other points, which above everything else redound to you reputation, no one could put oftener and with more satisfaction than I do: that your voice was the strongest both against beginning the civil war, and for moderation in victory. And in this I have never found anyone who did not agree with me. Therefore I am grateful to our friend Trebatius for giving me an excuse for writing this letter. And if you do not believe in it, you will thereby condemn me as wanting in duty and good feeling: than which nothing can be more discreditable to me or more foreign to your own character.
XXVII. Scr. in Tusculano V. Kal. Iun. a.u.c. 710. CICERO MATIO SAL.
Nondum satis constitui, molestiaene plus an voluptatis attulerit mihi Trebatius noster, homo cum plenus officii, tum utriusque nostrum amantissimus: nam, cum in Tusculanum vesperi venissem, postridie ille ad me, nondum satis firmo corpore cum esset, mane venit; quem cum obiurgarem, quod parum valetudini parceret, tum ille, nihil sibi longius fuisse, quam ut me videret. "Numquidnam," inquam, "novi?" Detulit ad me querelam tuam, de qua priusquam respondeo, pauca proponam. Quantum memoria repetere praeterita possum, nemo est mihi te amicus antiquior; sed vetustas habet aliquid commune cum multis, amor non habet: dilexi te, quo die cognovi, meque a te diligi iudicavi; tuus deinde discessus isque diuturnus, ambitio nostra et vitae dissimilitudo non est passa voluntates nostras consuetudine conglutinari; tuum tamen erga me animum agnovi multis annis ante bellum civile, cum Caesar esset in Gallia; quod enim vehementer mihi utile esse putabas nec inutile ipsi Caesari, perfecisti, ut ille me diligeret, coleret, haberet in suis. Multa praetereo, quae temporibus illis inter nos familiarissime dicta, scripta, communicata sunt; graviora enim consecuta sunt. Et initio belli civilis, cum Brundisium versus ires ad Caesarem, venisti ad me in Formianum: primum hoc ipsum quanti, praesertim temporibus illis! deinde oblitum me putas consilii, sermonis, humanitatis tuae? quibus rebus interesse memini Trebatium. Nec vero sum oblitus litterarum tuarum, quas ad me misisti, cum Caesari obviam venisses in agro, ut arbitror, Trebulano. Secutum illud tempus est, cum me ad Pompeium proficisci sive pudor meus coegit sive officium sive fortuna: quod officium tuum, quod studium vel in absentem me vel in praesentes meos defuit? quem porro omnes mei et mihi et sibi te amiciorem iudicaverunt? Veni Brundisium: oblitumne me putas, qua celeritate, ut primum audieris, ad me Tarento advolaris? quae tua fuerit assessio, oratio, confirmatio animi mei fracti communium miseriarum metu? Tandem aliquando Romae esse coepimus: quid defuit nostrae familiaritati? in maximis rebus quonam modo gererem me adversus Caesarem, usus tuo consilio sum, in reliquis officio: cui tu tribuisti excepto Caesare praeter me, ut domum ventitares horasque multas saepe suavissimo sermone consumeres? tum, cum etiam, si meministi, ut haec philosophoumena scriberem, tu me impulisti. Post Caesaris reditum quid tibi maiori curae fuit, quam ut essem ego illi quam familiarissimus? quod effeceras. Quorsum igitur haec oratio longior, quam putaram? Quis sum admiratus te, qui haec nosse deberes, quidquam a me commissum, quod esset alienum nostra amicitia, credidisse; nam praeter haec, quae commemoravi, quae testata sunt et illustria, habeo multa occultiora, quae vix verbis exsequi possum. Omnia me tua delectant, sed maxime maxima cum fides in amicitia, consilium, gravitas, constantia, tum lepos, humanitas, litterae. Quapropter—redeo nunc ad querelam—ego te suffragium tulisse in illa lege primum non credidi; deinde, si credidissem, numquam id sine aliqua iusta causa existimarem te fecisse. Dignitas tua facit, ut animadvertatur, quidquid facias; malevolentia autem hominum, ut nonnulla durius, quam a te facta sint, proferantur: ea tu si non audis, quid dicam, nescio; equidem, si quando audio, tam defendo, quam me scio a te contra iniquos meos solere defendi. Defensio autem est duplex: alia sunt, quae liquido negare soleam, ut de isto ipso suffragio; alia, quae defendam a te pie fieri et humane, ut de curatione ludorum. Sed te, hominem doctissimum, non fugit, si Caesar rex fuerit—quod mihi quidem videtur—, in utramque partem de tuo officio disputari posse, vel in eam, qua ego soleo uti, laudandam esse fidem et humanitatem tuam, qui amicum etiam mortuum diligas, vel in eam, qua nonnulli utuntur, libertatem patriae vitae amici anteponendam. Ex his sermonibus utinam essent delatae ad te disputationes meae! Illa vero duo, quae maxima sunt laudum tuarum, quis aut libentius quam ego commemorat aut saepius? te et non suscipiendi belli civilis gravissimum auctorem fuisse et moderandae victoriae, in quo qui mihi non assentiretur, inveni neminem. Quare habeo gratiam Trebatio, familari nostro, qui mihi dedit causam harum litterarum, quibus nisi credideris, me omnis officii et humanitatis expertem iudicaris; quo nec mihi gravius quidquam potest esse nec a te alienius.
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I have not yet decided whether our Trebatius, so dutiful and so devoted to both of us, brought me more pain or more pleasure. I had arrived at Tusculum in the evening, and early the next morning he came to see me, though his health was still not fully restored. When I scolded him for taking too little care of himself, he said that nothing had seemed longer to him than the wait to see me.
"Has anything new happened?" I asked. He brought me your complaint. Before I answer it, I will set out a few things.
As far back as I can recall, I have no older friend than you. But age of friendship is something I share with many; affection is not. I loved you from the day I came to know you, and I judged that I was loved by you. Later, your long absence, my own public career, and the different course of our lives did not allow our goodwill to be cemented by constant companionship.
Still, I recognized your feeling for me many years before the civil war, when Caesar was in Gaul. You brought about something you thought very useful to me and not useless to Caesar himself: that he should love me, honor me, and count me among his own. I pass over many things that, in those times, were spoken, written, and shared between us in the greatest intimacy, because heavier events followed.
At the beginning of the civil war, when you were going toward Brundisium to Caesar, you came to me at Formiae. First, how much that alone meant, especially at that time. Then, do you think I have forgotten your advice, your conversation, your kindness? I remember that Trebatius was present for it. Nor have I forgotten the letter you sent me after you had met Caesar, I think, in the district of Trebula.
Then came the time when either my sense of honor, or duty, or fortune forced me to set out for Pompey. What service, what zeal of yours was lacking either for me in my absence or for my people who were present? Whom did all my family judge more friendly either to me or to themselves? I came to Brundisium. Do you think I have forgotten how quickly, as soon as you heard, you flew to me from Tarentum? Or how you sat with me, spoke with me, and strengthened a spirit broken by fear of the common disasters?
At last we began to be in Rome. What was lacking in our intimacy? In the greatest matters, I used your counsel about how I should conduct myself toward Caesar; in the rest, I used your service. Apart from Caesar, to whom but me did you give such attention, coming often to my house and spending many hours in the sweetest conversation? Then too, if you remember, you urged me to write these philosophical works.
After Caesar's return, what mattered more to you than making me as close to him as possible? You had accomplished that.
Why has this speech run longer than I intended? Because I was amazed that you, who ought to know these things, believed that I had done anything alien to our friendship. Besides the things I have recalled, things witnessed and public, I have many more private memories, which I can scarcely put into words. Everything about you delights me, but most of all your extraordinary loyalty in friendship, your judgment, seriousness, and constancy, and also your charm, humanity, and learning.
So now I return to your complaint. At first, I did not believe that you had voted for that law. Then, if I had believed it, I would never have thought that you did it without some just reason. Your standing makes whatever you do noticed; human ill will makes some things reported more harshly than you did them. If you do not hear this, I hardly know what to say. Whenever I hear it, I defend you, just as I know you are used to defending me against unfair critics.
My defense has two parts. Some things I simply deny, as with that very vote. Others I defend as done by you loyally and humanely, as with your care of the games. But it does not escape you, a very learned man, that if Caesar was a king, as I think he was, your duty can be argued in two directions. One is the argument I usually use: your loyalty and humanity should be praised, because you loved your friend even after death. The other is the argument some people use: the liberty of the fatherland should be preferred to the life of a friend.
If only my side of those debates had been reported to you. As for the two points that are greatest among your praises, who recalls them more gladly or more often than I do? You were the weightiest voice against undertaking civil war, and you were the weightiest voice for moderating victory. On this point I have found no one who did not agree with me.
So I am grateful to Trebatius, our friend, for giving me the occasion for this letter. If you do not believe it, you will judge me empty of every duty and every humanity. Nothing could be more painful to me, or more alien to you.
AI-assisted translation - This translation was produced with AI assistance and has not been peer-reviewed. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek below for scholarly use.
Latin / Greek Original
XXVII. Scr. in Tusculano V. Kal. Iun. a.u.c. 710. CICERO MATIO SAL.
Nondum satis constitui, molestiaene plus an voluptatis attulerit mihi Trebatius noster, homo cum plenus officii, tum utriusque nostrum amantissimus: nam, cum in Tusculanum vesperi venissem, postridie ille ad me, nondum satis firmo corpore cum esset, mane venit; quem cum obiurgarem, quod parum valetudini parceret, tum ille, nihil sibi longius fuisse, quam ut me videret. "Numquidnam," inquam, "novi?" Detulit ad me querelam tuam, de qua priusquam respondeo, pauca proponam. Quantum memoria repetere praeterita possum, nemo est mihi te amicus antiquior; sed vetustas habet aliquid commune cum multis, amor non habet: dilexi te, quo die cognovi, meque a te diligi iudicavi; tuus deinde discessus isque diuturnus, ambitio nostra et vitae dissimilitudo non est passa voluntates nostras consuetudine conglutinari; tuum tamen erga me animum agnovi multis annis ante bellum civile, cum Caesar esset in Gallia; quod enim vehementer mihi utile esse putabas nec inutile ipsi Caesari, perfecisti, ut ille me diligeret, coleret, haberet in suis. Multa praetereo, quae temporibus illis inter nos familiarissime dicta, scripta, communicata sunt; graviora enim consecuta sunt. Et initio belli civilis, cum Brundisium versus ires ad Caesarem, venisti ad me in Formianum: primum hoc ipsum quanti, praesertim temporibus illis! deinde oblitum me putas consilii, sermonis, humanitatis tuae? quibus rebus interesse memini Trebatium. Nec vero sum oblitus litterarum tuarum, quas ad me misisti, cum Caesari obviam venisses in agro, ut arbitror, Trebulano. Secutum illud tempus est, cum me ad Pompeium proficisci sive pudor meus coegit sive officium sive fortuna: quod officium tuum, quod studium vel in absentem me vel in praesentes meos defuit? quem porro omnes mei et mihi et sibi te amiciorem iudicaverunt? Veni Brundisium: oblitumne me putas, qua celeritate, ut primum audieris, ad me Tarento advolaris? quae tua fuerit assessio, oratio, confirmatio animi mei fracti communium miseriarum metu? Tandem aliquando Romae esse coepimus: quid defuit nostrae familiaritati? in maximis rebus quonam modo gererem me adversus Caesarem, usus tuo consilio sum, in reliquis officio: cui tu tribuisti excepto Caesare praeter me, ut domum ventitares horasque multas saepe suavissimo sermone consumeres? tum, cum etiam, si meministi, ut haec philosophoumena scriberem, tu me impulisti. Post Caesaris reditum quid tibi maiori curae fuit, quam ut essem ego illi quam familiarissimus? quod effeceras. Quorsum igitur haec oratio longior, quam putaram? Quis sum admiratus te, qui haec nosse deberes, quidquam a me commissum, quod esset alienum nostra amicitia, credidisse; nam praeter haec, quae commemoravi, quae testata sunt et illustria, habeo multa occultiora, quae vix verbis exsequi possum. Omnia me tua delectant, sed maxime maxima cum fides in amicitia, consilium, gravitas, constantia, tum lepos, humanitas, litterae. Quapropter—redeo nunc ad querelam—ego te suffragium tulisse in illa lege primum non credidi; deinde, si credidissem, numquam id sine aliqua iusta causa existimarem te fecisse. Dignitas tua facit, ut animadvertatur, quidquid facias; malevolentia autem hominum, ut nonnulla durius, quam a te facta sint, proferantur: ea tu si non audis, quid dicam, nescio; equidem, si quando audio, tam defendo, quam me scio a te contra iniquos meos solere defendi. Defensio autem est duplex: alia sunt, quae liquido negare soleam, ut de isto ipso suffragio; alia, quae defendam a te pie fieri et humane, ut de curatione ludorum. Sed te, hominem doctissimum, non fugit, si Caesar rex fuerit—quod mihi quidem videtur—, in utramque partem de tuo officio disputari posse, vel in eam, qua ego soleo uti, laudandam esse fidem et humanitatem tuam, qui amicum etiam mortuum diligas, vel in eam, qua nonnulli utuntur, libertatem patriae vitae amici anteponendam. Ex his sermonibus utinam essent delatae ad te disputationes meae! Illa vero duo, quae maxima sunt laudum tuarum, quis aut libentius quam ego commemorat aut saepius? te et non suscipiendi belli civilis gravissimum auctorem fuisse et moderandae victoriae, in quo qui mihi non assentiretur, inveni neminem. Quare habeo gratiam Trebatio, familari nostro, qui mihi dedit causam harum litterarum, quibus nisi credideris, me omnis officii et humanitatis expertem iudicaris; quo nec mihi gravius quidquam potest esse nec a te alienius.