Letter 92

Yes, I saw how you felt when we parted, and I can answer for my own feelings too. All the more reason, then, for you to make sure no new decree is passed that would make this separation last more than a year. You handled Annius Saturninus well. As for the guarantee, I ask you to give it yourself while you are in Rome. There are several guarantees connected with a sale, such as those for the estates of Mennius or Atilius. In Oppius' case you did exactly what I wanted, especially in opening the account for the 800,000 sesterces. I want that paid off somehow, even by borrowing if necessary, rather than waiting until the last of my own outstanding debts is collected. Now I come to the little line you wrote sideways at the end of your letter, where you warn me about your sister. Here is what happened. When I reached Arpinum and my brother came to me, the first thing we did was talk at length about you. From there I turned to what you and I had discussed at Tusculum about your sister. I never saw my brother gentler or calmer toward her than he was then. If there had been any resentment over expenses, no trace of it appeared. That was that day. The next day we left Arpinum. A festival kept Quintus at Arcanum; I went on to Aquinum, though we had lunch at Arcanum. You know the estate. When we arrived, Quintus said with the greatest courtesy, "Pomponia, you invite the women; I will summon the men." Nothing, to my mind, could have been sweeter, either in words or in feeling and expression. But she said, with all of us listening, "I am only a guest here." I suppose she said it because Statius had gone ahead to see to lunch for us. Then Quintus said to me, "There, you see what I have to put up with every day." You will say, "What was so serious about that?" A great deal. It upset even me, so harsh and unreasonable was her answer, in both words and look. I hid my annoyance. We all sat down except her, though Quintus sent her something from the table. She refused it. In short, nothing seemed to me milder than my brother, and nothing harsher than your sister. I pass over many things that angered me more than they angered Quintus. I went on from there to Aquinum. Quintus stayed at Arcanum, came to me at Aquinum the next morning, and told me that she had refused to sleep with him and, when she was leaving, had behaved just as I had seen. What more can I say? You may tell her herself, if you like, that in my judgment she lacked ordinary courtesy that day. I have written more about this than was perhaps necessary so that you may see that some of the instructing and warning belongs to you too. What remains is for you to finish my commissions before you leave, write me about everything, push Pomptinus out the door, and, once you have set out, make sure I know it. Believe this: by Hercules, no one is dearer or sweeter to me than you. I said goodbye very affectionately at Menturnae to that excellent man Aulus Torquatus. Please let him know, in conversation, that I mentioned him in a letter to you.

Yes, I did see your feelings when we parted, and to my own I can testify. That is an additional reason why you should take care that no new decrees are passed, to prevent this painful separation from lasting more than one year. You have taken the right steps with Annius Saturninus. As to the guarantee, please give it yourself, while you are in town. There are some proofs of ownership, for instance those for Mennius’ or rather Atilius’ estate. You have done exactly what I wanted in Oppius’ case, especially in putting the £7,000 to his credit. I must have that paid off without waiting till I’ve got in all my arrears, even if I have to get into the hands of the Jews over it. Now I come to the line you wrote crosswise at the end of your letter, in which you give me a word of advice about your sister. The facts of the case are that when I reached Arpinum and my brother had come, the first thing we did was to have a long talk about you. After that I brought the talk round to the discussion you and I had about your sister at Tusculum. My brother’s behaviour then to your sister was gentleness and kindness itself. If there ever was any quarrel about expense, there were no signs of it. So passed that day. On the next day we started from Arpinum. A festival caused Quintus to stop at Arcanum, while I went on to Aquinum: but we lunched together at Arcanum. You know his place there. Well, when we reached it, Quintus said most politely, “Pomponia, you invite the ladies, I will ask the men.” Nothing, so far as I could see, could have been more gentle than his words or his intention or his expression. But before us all she answered “I’m only a stranger here”; just because Statius had been sent on in front to get dinner ready for us, I suppose. Says Quintus to me: “There you are. That’s what I have to put up with every day.” You may say there surely was not much in that. But there was a good deal: indeed she upset me myself; she answered with such uncalled for acrimony in word and look. I concealed my annoyance. We all took our places except her: but Quintus sent her something from the table, which she refused. In a word, it seemed to me that my brother was as good-tempered and your sister as cross as could be, and I have omitted a lot of things that aroused my wrath more than Quintus’. Then I went on to Aquinum. Quintus stayed at Arcanum, and came to me the next morning, and told me that she would not sleep with him and, when she was leaving, she was as cross as when I saw her. In fact, I don’t care if you tell her herself, that to my mind she behaved with a lack of courtesy that day. I have said perhaps more than necessary about it to show you that it is your turn to do a little instructing and advising too. It only remains for you to fulfil all my commissions before you start, and send me an account of all of them, to rout Pomptinus out, and, when you have left, to let me know, believing that there is nothing I hold dearer than yourself, nothing that gives me more delight. I bade that good fellow, A. Torquatus, a most affectionate farewell at Menturnae. I should like you to tell him I mentioned him in a letter.

ego vero et tuum in discessu vidi animum et meo sum ipse testis. quo magis erit tibi videndum ne quid novi decernatur, ut hoc nostrum desiderium ne plus sit annuum. de Annio Saturnino curasti probe. [2] de satis dando vero te rogo, quoad eris Romae tu ut satis des. et sunt aliquot satisdationes secundum mancipium veluti Mennianorum praediorum vel Atilianorum. de Oppio factum est (ut) volui, et maxime quod DCCC aperuisti. quae quidem ego utique vel versura facta solvi volo, ne extrema exactio nostrorum nominum exspectetur. [3] nunc venio ad transversum illum extremae epistulae tuae versiculum in quo me admones de sorore. quae res se sic habet. Vt veni in Arpinas, cum ad me frater venisset, in primis nobis sermo isque multus de te fuit. ex quo ego veni ad ea quae fueramus ego et tu inter nos de sorore in Tusculano locuti. nihil tam vidi mite, nihil tam placatum quam tum meus frater erat in sororem tuam, ut, etiam si qua fuerat ex ratione sumptus offensio, non appareret. ille sic dies. postridie ex Arpinati profecti sumus. Vt in Arcano Quintus maneret dies fecit, ego Aquini, sed prandimus in Arcano. Nosti hunc fundum. quo ut venimus, humanissime Quintus 'Pomponia' inquit 'tu invita mulieres, ego viros accivero.' nihil potuit, mihi quidem ut visum est, dulcius idque cum verbis tum etiam animo ac vultu. at illa audientibus nobis 'ego ipsa sum' inquit 'hic hospita,' id autem ex eo, ut opinor, quod antecesserat Statius ut prandium nobis videret. tum Quintus 'en' inquit mihi haec ego patior cotidie.' [4] dices 'quid quaeso istuc erat?' Magnum; itaque me ipsum commoverat; sic absurde et aspere verbis vultuque responderat. dissimulavi dolens. discubuimus omnes praeter illam, cui tamen Quintus de mensa misit. illa reiecit. quid multa? nihil meo fratre lenius, nihil asperius tua sorore mihi visum est; et multa praetereo quae tum mihi maiori stomacho quam ipsi Quinto fuerunt. ego inde Aquinum. Quintus in Arcano remansit et Aquinum ad me postridie mane venit mihique narravit nec secum illam dormire voluisse (et) cum discessura esset fuisse eius modi qualem ego vidissem. quid quaeris? vel ipsi hoc dicas licet, humanitatem ei meo iudicio illo die defuisse. haec ad te scripsi fortasse pluribus quam necesse fuit, ut videres tuas quoque esse partis instituendi et monendi. reliquum est ut ante quam proficiscare mandata nostra exhaurias, scribas ad me omnia, Pomptinum extrudas, cum profectus eris cures ut sciam, sic habeas nihil me hercule te mihi nec carius esse nec suavius. A. Torquatum amantissime dimisi Menturnis, optimum virum; cui me ad te scripsisse aliquid in sermone significes velim.