Marcus Tullius Cicero→Titus Pomponius Atticus|c. 58 BC|Cicero|From Rome|To Rome/Athens|AI-assisted
What had been done up to the eighth day before the Kalends of June [25 May] I learned from your letter; the rest I was awaiting at Thessalonica, as was your wish. When that news has been brought to me, I shall be able to decide more easily where to be. For if there is a cause, if anything is being done, if I see hope, I shall either wait here in this very place or betake myself to you; but if, as you write, those prospects have come to nothing, we shall look about for something else. Altogether, up to now you signify nothing to me except the discord of those men; which, however, exists among them about all matters rather than about me. And so what good that does me I do not know, but nevertheless, as long as you all wish me to hope, I shall comply with you. [2] For as to the fact that you so often and so vehemently rebuke me and say that I am of a weak spirit, I ask you, what so great an evil is there which is not present in my calamity? Was there ever anyone who fell from so high a station, in so good a cause, with such great resources of talent, of judgment, of influence, with such great supports from all good men? Can I forget who I was, not feel who I am, of what honor I am deprived, of what glory, of what children, of what fortunes, of what brother? Him I avoided seeing—so that you may attend to a new kind of calamity—though I valued him more than my very self and had always so valued him, lest I should either look upon his mourning and squalor, or present to him—to whom he had left me in fullest flourishing—myself ruined and afflicted. I pass over the rest of the intolerable things; for indeed I am hindered by weeping. Here, am I after all to be accused because I grieve, or because I brought it about that I did not either keep these things—which would have been easy, had not plans for my destruction been entered into within my own walls—or at least, while living, not lose them? [3] These things I have written so that you might rather relieve me, which you do, than think me deserving of chastisement or rebuke; and I write fewer things to you on this account, both because I am hindered by grief, and because I have more reason to expect from there than to write myself. If those tidings are brought, I shall make you more certain of our plan. As for you, as you have done up to now, I should like you to write to me about as many matters as possible, so that I may be utterly ignorant of nothing. Given on the fourteenth day before the Kalends of Quintilis [18 June], at Thessalonica.
Your letter has posted me up in political news to May 25: and I am awaiting the course of events at Thessalonica, as you suggest. When I hear more, I shall know where to be. For if there is any excuse, if anything is being done, if I see a ray of hope, I shall either wait here or pay you a visit: but if, as you say in your letter, those hopes have vanished into air I shall look for something else. At present you do not give me the least hint of anything except the disagreement of those friends of yours: and they are quarrelling about anything rather than me, so I do not see what good it will do me. But, as long as you wish me to hope, I will bow to your wishes. You frequently reproach me strongly for weak-heartedness: but I should like to know if I have been spared any hardship in my misfortune. Did anyone ever fall from such a high estate in such a good cause, especially when he was so well endowed with genius and good sense, so popular and so strongly supported by all honest men? Can I forget what I was? Can I help feeling what I am? Can I help missing my honour and fame, my children, my fortune and my brother? That is a fresh misfortune for you to contemplate.
I have avoided seeing my brother, though I love him and always have loved him better than myself, for fear that I should see him in his grief and misery, or that I, from whom he had parted in the height of prosperity, should present myself to him in ruin and humiliation. Of other things too hard to bear, I will say nothing: my tears prevent me. And what pray is it that calls for reproof? My grief, or my sin in not retaining my position,—which would have been easy enough, if there had not been a conspiracy for my ruin within my own walls,—or that I should not have lost it without losing life too?
My object in wanting thus is to call for your ready sympathy, instead of seeming to deserve your reproaches and reproofs, and the reason why I write less than usual is partly that my sorrow prevents me, and partly that I have more reason to expect news from you than to write to you. When I get your news, I will give you a clearer idea of my plans. Please continue to write fully about things as you have at present, that no detail may escape me.
Thessalonica, 17 June.
Acta quae essent usque ad a. d. viii Kal. Iunias cognovi ex tuis litteris; reliqua exspectabam, ut tibi placebat, Thessalonicae. quibus adlatis facilius statuere potero ubi sim. nam si erit causa, si quid agetur, si spem videro, aut ibidem opperiar aut me ad te conferam; sin, ut tu scribis, ista evanuerint, aliquid aliud videbimus. omnino adhuc nihil mihi significatis nisi discordiam istorum; quae tamen inter eos de omnibus potius rebus est quam de me. itaque quid ea mihi prosit nescio sed tamen quoad me vos sperare vultis vobis obtemperabo. [2] nam quod me tam saepe et tam vehementer obiurgas et animo infirmo esse dicis, quaeso, ecquod tantum malum est quod in mea calamitate non sit? ecquis umquam tam ex amplo statu, tam in bona causa, tantis facultatibus ingeni, consili, gratiae, tantis praesidiis bonorum omnium concidit? possum oblivisci qui fuerim, non sentire qui sim, quo caream honore, qua gloria, quibus liberis, quibus fortunis, quo fratre? quem ego, ut novum calamitatis genus attendas, quom pluris facerem quam me ipsum semperque fecissem, vitavi ne viderem, ne aut illius luctum squaloremque aspicerem aut me quem ille florentissimum reliquerat perditum illi adflictumque offerrem. Mitto cetera intolerabilia; etenim fletu impedior. hic utrum tandem sum accusandus quod doleo, an quod commisi ut haec non aut retinerem, quod facile fuisset nisi intra parietes meos de mea pernicie consilia inirentur, aut certe vivus non amitterem? [3] haec eo scripsi ut potius relevares me, quod facis, quam ut castigatione aut obiurgatione dignum putares, eoque ad te minus multa scribo quod et maerore impedior et quod exspectem istinc magis habeo quam quod ipse scribam. quae si erunt adlata, faciam te consili nostri certiorem. tu, ut adhuc fecisti, quam plurimis de rebus ad me velim scribas, ut prorsus ne quid ignorem. data xiiii Kal. Quintilis Thessalonicae.
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What had been done up to the eighth day before the Kalends of June [25 May] I learned from your letter; the rest I was awaiting at Thessalonica, as was your wish. When that news has been brought to me, I shall be able to decide more easily where to be. For if there is a cause, if anything is being done, if I see hope, I shall either wait here in this very place or betake myself to you; but if, as you write, those prospects have come to nothing, we shall look about for something else. Altogether, up to now you signify nothing to me except the discord of those men; which, however, exists among them about all matters rather than about me. And so what good that does me I do not know, but nevertheless, as long as you all wish me to hope, I shall comply with you. [2] For as to the fact that you so often and so vehemently rebuke me and say that I am of a weak spirit, I ask you, what so great an evil is there which is not present in my calamity? Was there ever anyone who fell from so high a station, in so good a cause, with such great resources of talent, of judgment, of influence, with such great supports from all good men? Can I forget who I was, not feel who I am, of what honor I am deprived, of what glory, of what children, of what fortunes, of what brother? Him I avoided seeing—so that you may attend to a new kind of calamity—though I valued him more than my very self and had always so valued him, lest I should either look upon his mourning and squalor, or present to him—to whom he had left me in fullest flourishing—myself ruined and afflicted. I pass over the rest of the intolerable things; for indeed I am hindered by weeping. Here, am I after all to be accused because I grieve, or because I brought it about that I did not either keep these things—which would have been easy, had not plans for my destruction been entered into within my own walls—or at least, while living, not lose them? [3] These things I have written so that you might rather relieve me, which you do, than think me deserving of chastisement or rebuke; and I write fewer things to you on this account, both because I am hindered by grief, and because I have more reason to expect from there than to write myself. If those tidings are brought, I shall make you more certain of our plan. As for you, as you have done up to now, I should like you to write to me about as many matters as possible, so that I may be utterly ignorant of nothing. Given on the fourteenth day before the Kalends of Quintilis [18 June], at Thessalonica.
AI-assisted translation - This translation was produced with AI assistance and has not been peer-reviewed. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek below for scholarly use.
Latin / Greek Original
Acta quae essent usque ad a. d. viii Kal. Iunias cognovi ex tuis litteris; reliqua exspectabam, ut tibi placebat, Thessalonicae. quibus adlatis facilius statuere potero ubi sim. nam si erit causa, si quid agetur, si spem videro, aut ibidem opperiar aut me ad te conferam; sin, ut tu scribis, ista evanuerint, aliquid aliud videbimus. omnino adhuc nihil mihi significatis nisi discordiam istorum; quae tamen inter eos de omnibus potius rebus est quam de me. itaque quid ea mihi prosit nescio sed tamen quoad me vos sperare vultis vobis obtemperabo. [2] nam quod me tam saepe et tam vehementer obiurgas et animo infirmo esse dicis, quaeso, ecquod tantum malum est quod in mea calamitate non sit? ecquis umquam tam ex amplo statu, tam in bona causa, tantis facultatibus ingeni, consili, gratiae, tantis praesidiis bonorum omnium concidit? possum oblivisci qui fuerim, non sentire qui sim, quo caream honore, qua gloria, quibus liberis, quibus fortunis, quo fratre? quem ego, ut novum calamitatis genus attendas, quom pluris facerem quam me ipsum semperque fecissem, vitavi ne viderem, ne aut illius luctum squaloremque aspicerem aut me quem ille florentissimum reliquerat perditum illi adflictumque offerrem. Mitto cetera intolerabilia; etenim fletu impedior. hic utrum tandem sum accusandus quod doleo, an quod commisi ut haec non aut retinerem, quod facile fuisset nisi intra parietes meos de mea pernicie consilia inirentur, aut certe vivus non amitterem? [3] haec eo scripsi ut potius relevares me, quod facis, quam ut castigatione aut obiurgatione dignum putares, eoque ad te minus multa scribo quod et maerore impedior et quod exspectem istinc magis habeo quam quod ipse scribam. quae si erunt adlata, faciam te consili nostri certiorem. tu, ut adhuc fecisti, quam plurimis de rebus ad me velim scribas, ut prorsus ne quid ignorem. data xiiii Kal. Quintilis Thessalonicae.