Marcus Tullius Cicero→Titus Pomponius Atticus|c. 58 BC|Cicero|From Rome|To Rome/Athens|AI-assisted
Setting out from Brundisium, we had written to you the reasons why we had not set out for Epirus: both because Achaia was nearly full of the most reckless enemies, and because it offered a difficult departure when we should set out from there. It came about, while we were at Dyrrachium, that two reports were brought: one, that my brother was coming by sea from Ephesus to Athens; the other, that he was coming on foot through Macedonia. And so we sent men to Athens to meet him, that he might come from there to Thessalonica. We ourselves went on ahead and came to Thessalonica on the tenth day before the Kalends of June [May 23], nor did we have anything certain about his journey except that he had set out from Ephesus some while before. [2] Now I am greatly afraid about what is being done over there [in Rome]; though you write in one letter that on the Ides of May [May 15] it would be heard that the matter was being pressed more sharply, and in another that things were already milder. But this one was sent the day before that one, which troubles me the more. And so, when my daily grief tears and wears me down, then truly this added anxiety scarcely leaves me any life. But the voyage was also exceedingly difficult, and he, uncertain where I was, perhaps sought a different course. For Phaetho the freedman did not see him. Driven back from Ilium by the wind into Macedonia, he was on hand to meet me at Pella. How much I have to fear of the rest I see, and I have nothing to write, and I fear everything, and there is nothing so wretched that does not seem to fall upon our fortune. For my part, still wretched amid my greatest hardships and griefs, with this fear now added, I remain at Thessalonica in suspense, and I dare to do nothing. [3] Now to the things you have written. I have not seen Tryphon Caecilius. I have learned of your conversation, and Pompey's, from your letter. I do not see so great a movement impending in the public affairs as you either see or bring forward to console me. For with Tigranes neglected, everything has been set aside. You bid me give thanks to Varro. I will do so; likewise to Hypsaeus. As to your advising that we should not withdraw too far while the proceedings of the month of May are brought to us, I think I shall do thus, but I have not yet settled where; and I am so disturbed in mind about Quintus that I can settle nothing, but nevertheless I will inform you at once. [4] From the inconsistency of my letters I think you see the agitation of my mind, which, although I am struck down by an incredible and singular calamity, yet is moved not so much by my misery as by the recollection of our fault. For by whose crime we were driven on and betrayed you surely now see; and would that you had seen it even before, and had not given over your whole mind to grief together with me! Therefore, when you hear that I am struck down and worn out by sorrow, consider that I am bearing the penalty of my folly more grievously than that of the outcome, because I trusted one whom I did not think to be wicked. Both the memory of my own misfortunes and my fear about my brother hinder me in writing. Do you look to all those matters and govern them. Terentia gives you the greatest thanks. I have sent you a copy of the letter which I wrote to Pompey. Dispatched on the fourth day before the Kalends of June [May 29], at Thessalonica.
As I was setting out from Brundisium, I wrote to you, explaining why I could not go to Epirus, because it is close to Achaia which is full of my most virulent enemies, and it is a hard place to get out of, when I want to start. My decision was confirmed by the receipt of two messages at Dyrrachium, one saying that my brother was coming by sea from Ephesus to
Athens, the other that he was coming by land through Macedonia. So I sent a note to catch him at Athens, asking him to come on to Thessalonica, and I myself set off and arrived at Thessalonica on the 23rd of May. The only certain news about him, that I have had, is that he started a short time ago from Ephesus. Now I am in great anxiety to know what is happening at Rome. It is true that in one letter dated May 15 you say you have heard that Quintus will be rigorously called in question, and in another that things are calming down: but the latter is dated a day before the former, to increase my perplexity. So, what between my own personal grief, which racks and tortures me daily, and this additional anxiety, I have hardly any life left in me. But the passage was very bad and perhaps, not knowing where I was, he took some other direction. My freedman Phaetho has seen nothing of him. Phaetho was driven back by wind from Ilium to Macedonia and came to me at Pella. I see how threatening the future is, though I have not the heart to write. I am afraid of everything: there is no misfortune that does not seem to fall to my lot. I am still staying in suspense at Thessalonica, with this new fear added to the woes and sorrows that oppress me; and I do not dare to make a move of any kind.
Now for the things you mention in your letter. Caecilius Trypho I have not seen. Of your talk with Pompey I have heard from your letter. I cannot see such signs of a political change as you either see or invent to comfort me: for, if they take no notice of the Tigranes episode, all hope is lost. You bid me pay my thanks to Varro. I will, and to Hypsaeus too. I think I will follow your advice not to go any
further away, until I receive the parliamentary news for May. But where to stop I have not yet made up my mind; and I am so anxious about Quintus, that I can’t make up my mind to anything. But I will soon let you know.
From these rambling notes of mine, you can see the perturbed state of my wits. Yet, though I have been crushed by an incredible and unparalleled misfortune, it is not so much my misery as the remembrance of my own mistake that affects me. For now surely you see whose treachery egged me on and betrayed me. Would to heaven you had seen it before, and had not let a mistake dominate your mind as I did. So when you hear that I am crushed and overwhelmed with grief, be assured that the sense of my folly in trusting one, whose treachery I had not suspected, is a heavier penalty than all the consequences. The thought of my misfortunes and my fears for my brother prevent me from writing. Keep your eye on events and your hand at the helm. Terentia expresses the deepest gratitude to you. I have sent you a copy of the letter I wrote to Pompey.
At Thessalonica, May 29.
Brundisio proficiscens scripseram ad te quas ob causas in Epirum non essemus profecti, quod et Achaia prope esset plena audacissimorum inimicorum et exitus difficilis haberet cum inde proficisceremur. accessit cum Dyrrachi essemus ut duo nuntii adferrentur, unus classe fratrem Epheso Athenas, alter pedibus per Macedoniam venire. itaque illi obviam misimus Athenas ut inde Thessalonicam veniret. ipsi processimus et Thessalonicam a. d. x Kal. Iunias venimus neque de illius itinere quicquam certi habebamus nisi eum ab Epheso ante aliquanto profectum. [2] nunc istic quid agatur magno opere timeo; quamquam tu altera epistula scribis Idibus Maus audiri fore ut acrius postularetur, altera iam esse mitiora. sed haec est pridie data quam illa, quo conturber magis. itaque cum meus me maeror cotidianus lacerat et conficit tum vero haec addita cura vix mihi vitam reliquam facit. sed et navigatio perdifficilis fuit et ille incertus ubi ego essem fortasse alium cursum petivit. nam Phaetho libertus eum non vidit. vento reiectus ab Ilio in Macedoniam Pellae mihi praesto fuit. reliqua quam mihi timenda sint video nec quid scribam habeo et omnia timeo, nec tam miserum est quicquam quod non in nostram fortunam cadere videatur. equidem adhuc miser in maximis meis aerumnis et luctibus hoc metu adiecto maneo Thessalonicae suspensus nec audeo quicquam. [3] nunc ad ea quae scripsisti. Tryphonem Caecilium non vidi. sermonem tuum et Pompei cognovi ex tuis litteris. Motuit in re publica non tantum ego impendere video quantum tu aut vides aut ad me consolandum adfers. Tigrane enim neglecto sublata sunt omnia. Varroni me iubes agere gratias. faciam; item Hypsaeo. quod suades ne longius discedamus dum acta mensis Mai ad nos perferantur, puto me ita esse facturum sed ubi nondum statui; atque ita perturbato sum animo de Quinto ut nihil queam statuere sed tamen statim te faciam certiorem. [4] ex epistularum mearum inconstantia puto te mentis meae motum videre qui, etsi incredibili et singulari calamitate adflictus sum, tamen non tam est ex miseria quam ex culpae nostrae recordatione commotus. cuius enim scelere impulsi ac proditi simus iam profecto vides, atque utinam iam ante vidisses neque totum animum tuum maerori mecum simul dedisses! qua re cum me adflictum et confectum luctu audies, existimato me stultitiae meae poenam ferre gravius quam eventi, quod ei crediderim quem esse nefarium non putarim. me et meorum malorum memoria et metus de fratre in scribendo impedit. tu ista omnia vide et guberna Terentia tibi maximas gratias agit. Litterarum exemplum quas ad Pompeium scripsi misi tibi. data iiii Kal. Iunias Thessalonicae.
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Setting out from Brundisium, we had written to you the reasons why we had not set out for Epirus: both because Achaia was nearly full of the most reckless enemies, and because it offered a difficult departure when we should set out from there. It came about, while we were at Dyrrachium, that two reports were brought: one, that my brother was coming by sea from Ephesus to Athens; the other, that he was coming on foot through Macedonia. And so we sent men to Athens to meet him, that he might come from there to Thessalonica. We ourselves went on ahead and came to Thessalonica on the tenth day before the Kalends of June [May 23], nor did we have anything certain about his journey except that he had set out from Ephesus some while before. [2] Now I am greatly afraid about what is being done over there [in Rome]; though you write in one letter that on the Ides of May [May 15] it would be heard that the matter was being pressed more sharply, and in another that things were already milder. But this one was sent the day before that one, which troubles me the more. And so, when my daily grief tears and wears me down, then truly this added anxiety scarcely leaves me any life. But the voyage was also exceedingly difficult, and he, uncertain where I was, perhaps sought a different course. For Phaetho the freedman did not see him. Driven back from Ilium by the wind into Macedonia, he was on hand to meet me at Pella. How much I have to fear of the rest I see, and I have nothing to write, and I fear everything, and there is nothing so wretched that does not seem to fall upon our fortune. For my part, still wretched amid my greatest hardships and griefs, with this fear now added, I remain at Thessalonica in suspense, and I dare to do nothing. [3] Now to the things you have written. I have not seen Tryphon Caecilius. I have learned of your conversation, and Pompey's, from your letter. I do not see so great a movement impending in the public affairs as you either see or bring forward to console me. For with Tigranes neglected, everything has been set aside. You bid me give thanks to Varro. I will do so; likewise to Hypsaeus. As to your advising that we should not withdraw too far while the proceedings of the month of May are brought to us, I think I shall do thus, but I have not yet settled where; and I am so disturbed in mind about Quintus that I can settle nothing, but nevertheless I will inform you at once. [4] From the inconsistency of my letters I think you see the agitation of my mind, which, although I am struck down by an incredible and singular calamity, yet is moved not so much by my misery as by the recollection of our fault. For by whose crime we were driven on and betrayed you surely now see; and would that you had seen it even before, and had not given over your whole mind to grief together with me! Therefore, when you hear that I am struck down and worn out by sorrow, consider that I am bearing the penalty of my folly more grievously than that of the outcome, because I trusted one whom I did not think to be wicked. Both the memory of my own misfortunes and my fear about my brother hinder me in writing. Do you look to all those matters and govern them. Terentia gives you the greatest thanks. I have sent you a copy of the letter which I wrote to Pompey. Dispatched on the fourth day before the Kalends of June [May 29], at Thessalonica.
AI-assisted translation - This translation was produced with AI assistance and has not been peer-reviewed. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek below for scholarly use.
Latin / Greek Original
Brundisio proficiscens scripseram ad te quas ob causas in Epirum non essemus profecti, quod et Achaia prope esset plena audacissimorum inimicorum et exitus difficilis haberet cum inde proficisceremur. accessit cum Dyrrachi essemus ut duo nuntii adferrentur, unus classe fratrem Epheso Athenas, alter pedibus per Macedoniam venire. itaque illi obviam misimus Athenas ut inde Thessalonicam veniret. ipsi processimus et Thessalonicam a. d. x Kal. Iunias venimus neque de illius itinere quicquam certi habebamus nisi eum ab Epheso ante aliquanto profectum. [2] nunc istic quid agatur magno opere timeo; quamquam tu altera epistula scribis Idibus Maus audiri fore ut acrius postularetur, altera iam esse mitiora. sed haec est pridie data quam illa, quo conturber magis. itaque cum meus me maeror cotidianus lacerat et conficit tum vero haec addita cura vix mihi vitam reliquam facit. sed et navigatio perdifficilis fuit et ille incertus ubi ego essem fortasse alium cursum petivit. nam Phaetho libertus eum non vidit. vento reiectus ab Ilio in Macedoniam Pellae mihi praesto fuit. reliqua quam mihi timenda sint video nec quid scribam habeo et omnia timeo, nec tam miserum est quicquam quod non in nostram fortunam cadere videatur. equidem adhuc miser in maximis meis aerumnis et luctibus hoc metu adiecto maneo Thessalonicae suspensus nec audeo quicquam. [3] nunc ad ea quae scripsisti. Tryphonem Caecilium non vidi. sermonem tuum et Pompei cognovi ex tuis litteris. Motuit in re publica non tantum ego impendere video quantum tu aut vides aut ad me consolandum adfers. Tigrane enim neglecto sublata sunt omnia. Varroni me iubes agere gratias. faciam; item Hypsaeo. quod suades ne longius discedamus dum acta mensis Mai ad nos perferantur, puto me ita esse facturum sed ubi nondum statui; atque ita perturbato sum animo de Quinto ut nihil queam statuere sed tamen statim te faciam certiorem. [4] ex epistularum mearum inconstantia puto te mentis meae motum videre qui, etsi incredibili et singulari calamitate adflictus sum, tamen non tam est ex miseria quam ex culpae nostrae recordatione commotus. cuius enim scelere impulsi ac proditi simus iam profecto vides, atque utinam iam ante vidisses neque totum animum tuum maerori mecum simul dedisses! qua re cum me adflictum et confectum luctu audies, existimato me stultitiae meae poenam ferre gravius quam eventi, quod ei crediderim quem esse nefarium non putarim. me et meorum malorum memoria et metus de fratre in scribendo impedit. tu ista omnia vide et guberna Terentia tibi maximas gratias agit. Litterarum exemplum quas ad Pompeium scripsi misi tibi. data iiii Kal. Iunias Thessalonicae.