Marcus Tullius Cicero→Titus Pomponius Atticus|c. 46 BC|Cicero|From Rome|To Rome/Athens|AI-assisted
While I flee from the memories that produce grief by a kind of bite, I take refuge in reminding you of something. I would ask you to forgive me for it, whatever its merits. For I have some of the authors I am now reading constantly who say that what I have often discussed with you ought to be done, and what I want you to approve. I mean about that shrine [Cicero's projected memorial to his dead daughter Tullia], about which I would like you to give as much thought as you love me. For my part I have no doubt about the design (Cluatius's plan pleases me) nor about the project itself (for that is settled); about the location I am sometimes uncertain. So I would like you to give it thought. As far as it can be done in these times of such learning, I shall surely consecrate her with every kind of monument drawn from the talents of all writers, both Greek and Latin. This may perhaps reopen my wound. But I now consider myself bound as though by a kind of vow and promise, and that long time when I shall no longer exist moves me more than this brief span, which nevertheless seems to me all too long. For I have nothing, after trying everything, in which I can find rest. For while I was occupied with that matter I wrote to you about earlier, I was as it were nursing my grief; now I reject everything, and I have nothing more bearable than solitude; and that solitude, which is what I had feared, Philippus did not disturb. For after he greeted me yesterday, he immediately set out for Rome.
The letter that I wrote to Brutus, as you had wished, I have sent to you. You will see to it that it is delivered along with your own. Yet I have sent you a copy of it so that, if it should please you less, you may not send it. As for your saying that domestic affairs are being managed in order, you will write what those matters are. For I am awaiting certain things. See that Cocceius does not disappoint us. For as to what Libo promises, as Eros writes, I think there is no uncertainty. About my principal sum I trust Sulpicius, and Egnatius of course. As for Appuleius, what reason is there for you to take trouble, since the excuse is easy?
As for your coming to me, as you indicate, see that it may not be easy. For it is a long journey, and when you depart - which you will perhaps have to do quickly - I shall not send you off without great grief. But let everything be as you wish. For whatever you do, I shall consider it both rightly done and also done for my sake.
This is certainly a delightful place, right on the sea and within sight of Antium and Circeii. But we must remember how it may change hands an infinite number of times in the countless years to come, if our empire last, and must arrange that that shrine may remain as consecrated ground. For my part I don't want a large income now and can be contented with little. I think at times of buying some gardens across the Tiber, especially for this reason: I don't see any other place that can be so much frequented. But what gardens, we will consider together; provided only that the shrine must be completed this summer. However settle with Apella of Chios about the columns.
What you say about Cocceius and Libo I approve, especially as regards my serving on juries. If you have ascertained anything about my guarantee, I should like to know, and anyhow, what Cornificius' agents say, though I don't want you to take much trouble about the matter, when you are so busy. About Antony, Balbus and Oppius too have written to me saying you wished them to write, to save me from anxiety. I have thanked them. I should wish you to know however, as I have said before, that I was not disturbed at that news and shall never be disturbed at any again. If Pansa has set out to-day, as you thought, henceforth begin to tell me in your letters what you expect about Brutus' return, I mean about what day. That you can easily guess, if you know where he is at the time of writing.
As regards your letter to Tiro about Terentia, I beg you, Atticus, to undertake the whole matter. You see there is a question of my duty concerned, and you know all about that: besides, some think there is my son's interest. With me it is the first point that weighs most, as being the more sacred and the more important: especially as I don't think she is either sincere or reliable about the second.
dum recordationes fugio quae quasi morsu quodam dolorem efficiunt, refugio ad te admonendum. quod velim mihi ignoscas, cuicuimodi est. etenim habeo non nullos ex iis quos nunc lectito auctores qui dicant fieri id oportere quod saepe tecum egi et quod a te approbari volo, de fano illo dico, de quo tantum quantum me amas velim cogites. equidem neque de genere dubito (placet enim mihi Cluati) neque de re (statutum est enim), de loco non numquam. velim igitur cogites. ego, quantum his temporibus tam eruditis fieri potuerit, profecto illam consecrabo omni genere monimentorum ab omnium ingeniis sumptorum et Graecorum et Latinorum. quae res forsitan sit refricatura vulnus meum. sed iam quasi voto quodam et promisso me teneri puto, longumque illud tempus cum non ero magis me movet quam hoc exiguum, quod mihi tamen nimium longum videtur. habeo enim nihil temptatis rebus omnibus in quo acquiescam. nam dum illud tractabam de quo ad te ante scripsi, quasi fovebam dolores meos; nunc omnia respuo nec quicquam habeo tolerabilius quam solitudinem; quam, quod eram veritus, non obturbavit Philippus. nam ut heri me salutavit, statim Romam profectus est. [2] epistulam quam ad Brutum, ut tibi placuerat, scripsi misi ad te. curabis cum tua perferendam. eius tamen misi ad te exemplum ut, si minus placeret, ne mitteres. domestica quod ais ordine administrari scribes quae sint ea. quaedam enim exspecto. Cocceius vide ne frustretur. nam Libo quod pollicetur, ut Eros scribit, non incertum puto. de sorte mea Sulpicio confido et Egnatio scilicet. de Appuleio quid est quod labores, cum sit excusatio facilis? [4] tibi ad me venire, ut ostendis, vide ne non sit facile. est enim longum iter discedentemque te, quod celeriter tibi erit fortasse faciendum, non sine magno dolore dimittam. sed omnia ut voles. ego enim quicquid feceris id cum recte tum etiam mea causa factum putabo.
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While I flee from the memories that produce grief by a kind of bite, I take refuge in reminding you of something. I would ask you to forgive me for it, whatever its merits. For I have some of the authors I am now reading constantly who say that what I have often discussed with you ought to be done, and what I want you to approve. I mean about that shrine [Cicero's projected memorial to his dead daughter Tullia], about which I would like you to give as much thought as you love me. For my part I have no doubt about the design (Cluatius's plan pleases me) nor about the project itself (for that is settled); about the location I am sometimes uncertain. So I would like you to give it thought. As far as it can be done in these times of such learning, I shall surely consecrate her with every kind of monument drawn from the talents of all writers, both Greek and Latin. This may perhaps reopen my wound. But I now consider myself bound as though by a kind of vow and promise, and that long time when I shall no longer exist moves me more than this brief span, which nevertheless seems to me all too long. For I have nothing, after trying everything, in which I can find rest. For while I was occupied with that matter I wrote to you about earlier, I was as it were nursing my grief; now I reject everything, and I have nothing more bearable than solitude; and that solitude, which is what I had feared, Philippus did not disturb. For after he greeted me yesterday, he immediately set out for Rome.
The letter that I wrote to Brutus, as you had wished, I have sent to you. You will see to it that it is delivered along with your own. Yet I have sent you a copy of it so that, if it should please you less, you may not send it. As for your saying that domestic affairs are being managed in order, you will write what those matters are. For I am awaiting certain things. See that Cocceius does not disappoint us. For as to what Libo promises, as Eros writes, I think there is no uncertainty. About my principal sum I trust Sulpicius, and Egnatius of course. As for Appuleius, what reason is there for you to take trouble, since the excuse is easy?
As for your coming to me, as you indicate, see that it may not be easy. For it is a long journey, and when you depart - which you will perhaps have to do quickly - I shall not send you off without great grief. But let everything be as you wish. For whatever you do, I shall consider it both rightly done and also done for my sake.
AI-assisted translation - This translation was produced with AI assistance and has not been peer-reviewed. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek below for scholarly use.
Latin / Greek Original
dum recordationes fugio quae quasi morsu quodam dolorem efficiunt, refugio ad te admonendum. quod velim mihi ignoscas, cuicuimodi est. etenim habeo non nullos ex iis quos nunc lectito auctores qui dicant fieri id oportere quod saepe tecum egi et quod a te approbari volo, de fano illo dico, de quo tantum quantum me amas velim cogites. equidem neque de genere dubito (placet enim mihi Cluati) neque de re (statutum est enim), de loco non numquam. velim igitur cogites. ego, quantum his temporibus tam eruditis fieri potuerit, profecto illam consecrabo omni genere monimentorum ab omnium ingeniis sumptorum et Graecorum et Latinorum. quae res forsitan sit refricatura vulnus meum. sed iam quasi voto quodam et promisso me teneri puto, longumque illud tempus cum non ero magis me movet quam hoc exiguum, quod mihi tamen nimium longum videtur. habeo enim nihil temptatis rebus omnibus in quo acquiescam. nam dum illud tractabam de quo ad te ante scripsi, quasi fovebam dolores meos; nunc omnia respuo nec quicquam habeo tolerabilius quam solitudinem; quam, quod eram veritus, non obturbavit Philippus. nam ut heri me salutavit, statim Romam profectus est. [2] epistulam quam ad Brutum, ut tibi placuerat, scripsi misi ad te. curabis cum tua perferendam. eius tamen misi ad te exemplum ut, si minus placeret, ne mitteres. domestica quod ais ordine administrari scribes quae sint ea. quaedam enim exspecto. Cocceius vide ne frustretur. nam Libo quod pollicetur, ut Eros scribit, non incertum puto. de sorte mea Sulpicio confido et Egnatio scilicet. de Appuleio quid est quod labores, cum sit excusatio facilis? [4] tibi ad me venire, ut ostendis, vide ne non sit facile. est enim longum iter discedentemque te, quod celeriter tibi erit fortasse faciendum, non sine magno dolore dimittam. sed omnia ut voles. ego enim quicquid feceris id cum recte tum etiam mea causa factum putabo.