Marcus Tullius Cicero→Titus Pomponius Atticus|c. 47 BC|Cicero|From Rome|To Rome/Athens|AI-assisted
I cannot bring myself to write, without great agony of mind, what reasons moved me - how bitter, how grave, how unexpected - and forced me to act by impulse rather than reflection. They were so weighty that they produced what you see. So I do not know what to tell you about my affairs or what to ask of you. You can see the whole substance of the matter for yourself.
From your letters, both the one you wrote jointly with others and the one you wrote in your own name, I gather what I also saw myself: you are somewhat shaken by my sudden move and are looking for some new way to protect me. I do not quite see how I can do what you suggest and move nearer to Rome while traveling through towns by night. I do not have suitable places to spend all the days, and for the point you are aiming at it makes little difference whether I am seen in towns or on the road. Still, I will consider how this plan, like the others, can be carried out most conveniently.
I am so terribly upset in mind and body that I have not been able to write many letters. I have only answered those who wrote to me. I would like you to write in my name to Basilus and to anyone else you choose, even Servilius, and say whatever you think best. From this letter you will understand quite clearly that I have not written to you for so long because I had nothing to write, not because I did not wish to write.
As for your question about Vatinius, neither he nor anyone else would fail in service to me if they could find any way to help. Quintus showed the bitterest hostility toward me at Patrae. His son came there from Corcyra, and I suppose they have set out from there with the others.
What were the reasons, how bitter, how grave and unforeseen, which swayed me and compelled me to act by a kind of impulse rather than by reflection, I cannot bring myself to write without great agony of mind. So weighty were they that they have brought about what you see. Accordingly I do not know what to tell you about my affairs nor what to ask of you. You can see for yourself the sum and substance of the matter.
For my part I have gathered from your letters—both that which you wrote in conjunction with others and the one you wrote in your own name—what I saw myself too, that you are somewhat disconcerted by my sudden move, and are looking for some new means of protecting me. I don't quite see how I can do as you suggest and come nearer to Rome, travelling through towns at night. For I have not suitable stopping-places to spend all the days in; nor, for the point you are aiming at, does it much matter whether I am seen in towns or on the road. However I will consider how this plan, as well as others, can most conveniently be carried out.
I am so fearfully upset both in mind and body that I have not been able to write many letters; I have only answered those who have written to me. I should like you to write in my name to Basilus and to anyone else you like, even to Servilius, and say whatever you think fit. From this letter you will quite understand that the reason why I have not written to you at all for such a long time, is that I
had nothing to write about, not that I did not wish to write.
For your query about Vatinius, neither he nor anyone else would fail in service to me, if they could find any means of helping me. Quintus showed the bitterest ill-feeling to me at Patrae. His son came thither from Corcyra: and I suppose they have set out from there with the others.
[1] quae me causae moverint, quam acerbae, quam graves, quam novae, coegerintque impetu magis quodam animi uti quam cogitatione, non possum ad te sine maximo dolore scribere. fuerunt quidem tantae ut id quod vides effecerint. itaque nec quid ad te scribam de meis rebus nec quid a te petam reperio; rem et summam negoti vides. equidem ex tuis litteris intellexi et iis quas communiter cum aliis scripsisti et iis quas tuo nomine, quod etiam mea sponte videbam, te subita re quasi debilitatum novas rationes tuendi mei quaerere. [2] quod scribis placere ut propius accedam iterque per oppida noctu faciam, non sane video quem ad modum id fieri possit. neque enim ita apta habeo deversoria ut tota tempora diurna in iis possim consumere, neque ad id quod quaeris multum interest utrum me homines in oppido videant an in via. sed tamen hoc ipsum sicut alia considerabo quem ad modum commodissime fieri posse videatur. [3] ego propter incredibilem et animi et corporis molestiam conficere pluris litteras non potui; iis tantum rescripsi a quibus acceperam. tu velim et Basilo et quibus praeterea videbitur, etiam Servilio conscribas, ut tibi videbitur, meo nomine. quod tanto intervallo nihil omnino ad vos scripsi, his litteris profecto intellegis rem mihi desse de qua scribam, non voluntatem. [4] quod de Vatinio quaeris, neque illius neque cuiusquam mihi praeterea officium desset, si reperire possent qua in re me iuvarent. Quintus aversissimo a me animo Patris fuit. eodem Corcyra filius venit. Inde profectos eos una cum ceteris arbitror.
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I cannot bring myself to write, without great agony of mind, what reasons moved me - how bitter, how grave, how unexpected - and forced me to act by impulse rather than reflection. They were so weighty that they produced what you see. So I do not know what to tell you about my affairs or what to ask of you. You can see the whole substance of the matter for yourself.
From your letters, both the one you wrote jointly with others and the one you wrote in your own name, I gather what I also saw myself: you are somewhat shaken by my sudden move and are looking for some new way to protect me. I do not quite see how I can do what you suggest and move nearer to Rome while traveling through towns by night. I do not have suitable places to spend all the days, and for the point you are aiming at it makes little difference whether I am seen in towns or on the road. Still, I will consider how this plan, like the others, can be carried out most conveniently.
I am so terribly upset in mind and body that I have not been able to write many letters. I have only answered those who wrote to me. I would like you to write in my name to Basilus and to anyone else you choose, even Servilius, and say whatever you think best. From this letter you will understand quite clearly that I have not written to you for so long because I had nothing to write, not because I did not wish to write.
As for your question about Vatinius, neither he nor anyone else would fail in service to me if they could find any way to help. Quintus showed the bitterest hostility toward me at Patrae. His son came there from Corcyra, and I suppose they have set out from there with the others.
AI-assisted translation - This translation was produced with AI assistance and has not been peer-reviewed. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek below for scholarly use.
Latin / Greek Original
[1] quae me causae moverint, quam acerbae, quam graves, quam novae, coegerintque impetu magis quodam animi uti quam cogitatione, non possum ad te sine maximo dolore scribere. fuerunt quidem tantae ut id quod vides effecerint. itaque nec quid ad te scribam de meis rebus nec quid a te petam reperio; rem et summam negoti vides. equidem ex tuis litteris intellexi et iis quas communiter cum aliis scripsisti et iis quas tuo nomine, quod etiam mea sponte videbam, te subita re quasi debilitatum novas rationes tuendi mei quaerere. [2] quod scribis placere ut propius accedam iterque per oppida noctu faciam, non sane video quem ad modum id fieri possit. neque enim ita apta habeo deversoria ut tota tempora diurna in iis possim consumere, neque ad id quod quaeris multum interest utrum me homines in oppido videant an in via. sed tamen hoc ipsum sicut alia considerabo quem ad modum commodissime fieri posse videatur. [3] ego propter incredibilem et animi et corporis molestiam conficere pluris litteras non potui; iis tantum rescripsi a quibus acceperam. tu velim et Basilo et quibus praeterea videbitur, etiam Servilio conscribas, ut tibi videbitur, meo nomine. quod tanto intervallo nihil omnino ad vos scripsi, his litteris profecto intellegis rem mihi desse de qua scribam, non voluntatem. [4] quod de Vatinio quaeris, neque illius neque cuiusquam mihi praeterea officium desset, si reperire possent qua in re me iuvarent. Quintus aversissimo a me animo Patris fuit. eodem Corcyra filius venit. Inde profectos eos una cum ceteris arbitror.