Marcus Tullius Cicero→Titus Pomponius Atticus|c. 49 BC|Cicero|From Rome|To Rome/Athens|AI-assisted
My Tullia gave birth on May 19 to a boy, a seven-month child. I am glad she had an easy delivery; what was born is very weak.
Until now I have been held back by astonishing calms, and they have been a greater obstacle than the guards by whom I am watched. All that Hortensian enthusiasm was childish talk; so it will turn out. The worthless man has been corrupted by Salvius, his freedman. Therefore from now on I will not write to you what I am going to do, but what I have done. Every eavesdropper seems to be listening under the wall to what I say.
Still, if you have any news about Spain or anything else, please go on writing, and do not wait for letters from me unless we have reached the place I hope for, or unless I send something from the voyage. Even this I write timidly, so slow and sluggish is everything still. Since we began badly, the rest follows.
We are now heading for Formiae. Perhaps the Furies will pursue us there too. From Balbus' conversation with you, I do not like what he said about Malta. Can you then doubt that he counts me among the enemy? I did write to Balbus that you had written to me both about his goodwill and about his suspicion. I thanked him for the first; clear me to him about the second. Is there any man more unfortunate? I will say no more, so that I do not torture you too. I am worn out by the thought that the time has come when I can no longer do anything either bravely or wisely.
My daughter was confined on the 19th of May: a boy, a seven months' child. I am glad she had a safe delivery. As for the thing that has been born, it is a very poor specimen. So far I have been detained by an astonishing calm, which has been a greater hindrance than the watch kept on me. For all that gush of Hortensius proved child's talk. So it will be found. The villain has been corrupted by Salvius his freeman. Accordingly hereafter I shall write to you, not what I intend to do but what I have done. For every eavesdropper seems to be listening to what I say.
However if you have any news about Spain or any other topic, please write, but do not count on a letter from me, till I have reached the desired haven; or possibly I may write something on the voyage. But even this much I write in fear. How sluggishly and draggingly everything has gone! The foundation was badly laid and the rest is of a piece.
Just now I am going to Formiae; perhaps there too the Furies will follow me. However according to Balbus' conversation with you my idea of going to Malta does not win approval. Can you doubt then that Caesar regards me as an enemy? To be sure I have written to Balbus telling him that you had informed me of his kindness and his suspicion. I
thanked him for his kindness: as regards the suspicion, clear me. Is there a more unlucky man living? I won't say more for fear of hurting you too. I am tortured by the thought that the time has come when I can no longer act either with boldness or discretion.
[1] Tullia mea peperit xiiii K. Iun. puerum heptameniaion. quod eutokesen gaudeo; quod quidem est natum perimbecillum est. me mirificae tranquillitates adhuc tenuerunt atque maiori impedimento fuerunt quam custodiae quibus adservor. nam illa Hortensiana omnia + fuere infantia ita fiet+ homo nequissimus a Salvio liberto depravatus est. itaque posthac non scribam ad te quid facturus sim sed quid fecerim; omnes enim Korukaiioi videntur subauscultare quae loquor. [2] tu tamen si quid de Hispaniis sive quid aliud perge, quaeso, scribere nec meas litteras exspectaris, nisi cum quo opto pervenerimus aut si quid ex cursu. sed hoc quoque timide scribo; ita omnia tarda adhuc et spissa. Vt male posuimus initia sic cetera sequuntur. [3] Formias nunc sequimur; eodem nos fortasse Furiae persequentur. ex Balbi autem sermone quem tecum habuit, non probamus de Melita. dubitas igitur quin nos in hostium numero habeat? scripsi equidem Balbo te ad me et (de) benevolentia scripsisse et de suspicione. [3] egi gratias; de altero ei me purga. ecquem tu hominem infeliciorem? non loquor plura, ne te quoque excruciem. ipse conficior venisse tempus cum iam nec fortiter nec prudenter quicquam facere possim. Cicero
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My Tullia gave birth on May 19 to a boy, a seven-month child. I am glad she had an easy delivery; what was born is very weak.
Until now I have been held back by astonishing calms, and they have been a greater obstacle than the guards by whom I am watched. All that Hortensian enthusiasm was childish talk; so it will turn out. The worthless man has been corrupted by Salvius, his freedman. Therefore from now on I will not write to you what I am going to do, but what I have done. Every eavesdropper seems to be listening under the wall to what I say.
Still, if you have any news about Spain or anything else, please go on writing, and do not wait for letters from me unless we have reached the place I hope for, or unless I send something from the voyage. Even this I write timidly, so slow and sluggish is everything still. Since we began badly, the rest follows.
We are now heading for Formiae. Perhaps the Furies will pursue us there too. From Balbus' conversation with you, I do not like what he said about Malta. Can you then doubt that he counts me among the enemy? I did write to Balbus that you had written to me both about his goodwill and about his suspicion. I thanked him for the first; clear me to him about the second. Is there any man more unfortunate? I will say no more, so that I do not torture you too. I am worn out by the thought that the time has come when I can no longer do anything either bravely or wisely.
AI-assisted translation - This translation was produced with AI assistance and has not been peer-reviewed. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek below for scholarly use.
Latin / Greek Original
[1] Tullia mea peperit xiiii K. Iun. puerum heptameniaion. quod eutokesen gaudeo; quod quidem est natum perimbecillum est. me mirificae tranquillitates adhuc tenuerunt atque maiori impedimento fuerunt quam custodiae quibus adservor. nam illa Hortensiana omnia + fuere infantia ita fiet+ homo nequissimus a Salvio liberto depravatus est. itaque posthac non scribam ad te quid facturus sim sed quid fecerim; omnes enim Korukaiioi videntur subauscultare quae loquor. [2] tu tamen si quid de Hispaniis sive quid aliud perge, quaeso, scribere nec meas litteras exspectaris, nisi cum quo opto pervenerimus aut si quid ex cursu. sed hoc quoque timide scribo; ita omnia tarda adhuc et spissa. Vt male posuimus initia sic cetera sequuntur. [3] Formias nunc sequimur; eodem nos fortasse Furiae persequentur. ex Balbi autem sermone quem tecum habuit, non probamus de Melita. dubitas igitur quin nos in hostium numero habeat? scripsi equidem Balbo te ad me et (de) benevolentia scripsisse et de suspicione. [3] egi gratias; de altero ei me purga. ecquem tu hominem infeliciorem? non loquor plura, ne te quoque excruciem. ipse conficior venisse tempus cum iam nec fortiter nec prudenter quicquam facere possim. Cicero