Marcus Tullius Cicero→Titus Pomponius Atticus|c. 49 BC|Cicero|From Rome|To Rome/Athens|AI-assisted
What is going to happen to me? Who is more unfortunate than I am, or now even more humiliated? Antony says he has been given orders about me by name. He has not yet seen me himself, but he told Trebatius this. What am I to do now, when nothing goes forward and the things most carefully planned collapse in the ugliest way?
When I secured Curio, I thought I had gained everything. He had written about me to Hortensius. Reginus was entirely ours. I did not suspect that Antony had any business with this sea. Where shall I turn now? I am guarded from every side. But enough tears.
I must therefore steal away, crawling secretly into some cargo ship. I must not let it seem that I have been blocked by agreement. I must aim for Sicily. If I obtain that, I shall achieve something greater. Only let things be right in Spain. And yet, as for Sicily itself, if only the report is true. So far nothing favorable has happened. They say Sicilians have gathered around Cato, begged him to resist, promised everything, and that he was moved and began a levy. I do not believe it, though the authority is impressive. I do know that the province could certainly have been held. But news from Spain will soon be heard.
Here I have Gaius Marcellus, who truly thinks as I do or pretends well. I had not seen him myself, but I heard this from one of his closest friends. Please write if you have any news. If I attempt anything, I will write to you at once. I will deal more severely with young Quintus. If only I can make progress. Still, please at some point tear up those letters in which I wrote too harshly about him, in case anything ever leaks out. I will do the same with yours. I am waiting for Servius, and from him I hear nothing sound. You will know whatever happens.
What is to happen to me? Who is there more ill-starred, or even more humiliated? Antony says he has received orders about me definitely. Yet I have not seen him myself so far; but he told Trebatius. What can I do now? Nothing succeeds and all my best laid plans fail abominably. For, when I had won over Curio, I imagined I had attained my end. He had written about me to Hortensius. Reginus was wholly my friend. I never suspected that Antony had anything to do with this part of the sea. Whither can I turn now? Everywhere I am watched. But enough of lamentation. I must steal away and creep privily into some cargo boat; I must not allow it to appear that I connive at being hindered. I must go to Sicily. If I once get there, I shall have greater ends in view. If only all goes well in Spain! However, I do hope the news about Sicily may prove true! Hitherto I have had no luck. It is said the Sicilians have gathered round Cato, prayed him to resist and promised every support: and that he has been induced to begin making a levy. I don't believe it, good as the authority is. I know for a fact that that province could have been held. But we shall soon hear from Spain.
Here I have C. Marcellus, who holds the same views as myself or makes a good pretence of doing so. I have not indeed met him myself; but I hear it from one of his most intimate friends. Write to me, if you have any news. If I attempt anything, I shall inform you at once. Young Quintus I shall handle
with severity. I hope my efforts may succeed. But please some time tear up the letters in which I criticize him severely, for fear anything ever come to light. I will tear up yours. Servius Sulpicius I am still awaiting, nor do I hear anything satisfactory from him. You shall know whatever happens.
[1] quidnam mihi futurum est aut quis me non solum infelicior sed iam etiam turpior? nominatim de me sibi imperatum dicit Antonius nec me tamen ipse adhuc viderat sed hoc Trebatio narravit. quid agam nunc quoi nihil procedit caduntque ea quae diligentissime sunt cogitata taeterrime? ego enim Curionem nactus omnia me consecutum putavi. is de me ad Hortensium scripserat. Reginus erat totus noster. huic nihil suspicabamur cum .hoc mari negoti fore. quo me nunc vertam? Vndique custodior. sed satis lacrimis. [2] Paraklepteon igitur et occulte in aliquam onerariam corrependum, non committendum ut etiam compacto prohibiti videamur. Sicilia petenda; quam si erimus nacti, maiora quaedam consequemur. sit modo recte in Hispaniis! quamquam de ipsa Sicilia utinam sit verum! sed adhuc nihil secundi. concursus Siculorum ad Catonem dicitur factus, orasse ut resisteret, omnia pollicitos; commotum illum dilectum habere coepisse. non credo, ut est luculentus auctor. potuisse certe teneri illam provinciam scio. ab Hispaniis autem iam audietur. [3] hic nos C. Marcellum habemus eadem vere cogitantem aut bene simulantem; quamquam ipsum non videram sed ex familiarissimo eius audiebam. tu, quaeso, si quid habebis novi; ego, si quid moliti erimus, ad te statim scribam. Quintum filium severius adhibebo. Vtinam proficere possim! tu tamen eas epistulas quibus asperius de eo scripsi aliquando concerpito, ne quando quid emanet; ego item tuas. [4] Servium exspecto nec ab eo quicquam hugies. scies quicquid erit.
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What is going to happen to me? Who is more unfortunate than I am, or now even more humiliated? Antony says he has been given orders about me by name. He has not yet seen me himself, but he told Trebatius this. What am I to do now, when nothing goes forward and the things most carefully planned collapse in the ugliest way?
When I secured Curio, I thought I had gained everything. He had written about me to Hortensius. Reginus was entirely ours. I did not suspect that Antony had any business with this sea. Where shall I turn now? I am guarded from every side. But enough tears.
I must therefore steal away, crawling secretly into some cargo ship. I must not let it seem that I have been blocked by agreement. I must aim for Sicily. If I obtain that, I shall achieve something greater. Only let things be right in Spain. And yet, as for Sicily itself, if only the report is true. So far nothing favorable has happened. They say Sicilians have gathered around Cato, begged him to resist, promised everything, and that he was moved and began a levy. I do not believe it, though the authority is impressive. I do know that the province could certainly have been held. But news from Spain will soon be heard.
Here I have Gaius Marcellus, who truly thinks as I do or pretends well. I had not seen him myself, but I heard this from one of his closest friends. Please write if you have any news. If I attempt anything, I will write to you at once. I will deal more severely with young Quintus. If only I can make progress. Still, please at some point tear up those letters in which I wrote too harshly about him, in case anything ever leaks out. I will do the same with yours. I am waiting for Servius, and from him I hear nothing sound. You will know whatever happens.
AI-assisted translation - This translation was produced with AI assistance and has not been peer-reviewed. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek below for scholarly use.
Latin / Greek Original
[1] quidnam mihi futurum est aut quis me non solum infelicior sed iam etiam turpior? nominatim de me sibi imperatum dicit Antonius nec me tamen ipse adhuc viderat sed hoc Trebatio narravit. quid agam nunc quoi nihil procedit caduntque ea quae diligentissime sunt cogitata taeterrime? ego enim Curionem nactus omnia me consecutum putavi. is de me ad Hortensium scripserat. Reginus erat totus noster. huic nihil suspicabamur cum .hoc mari negoti fore. quo me nunc vertam? Vndique custodior. sed satis lacrimis. [2] Paraklepteon igitur et occulte in aliquam onerariam corrependum, non committendum ut etiam compacto prohibiti videamur. Sicilia petenda; quam si erimus nacti, maiora quaedam consequemur. sit modo recte in Hispaniis! quamquam de ipsa Sicilia utinam sit verum! sed adhuc nihil secundi. concursus Siculorum ad Catonem dicitur factus, orasse ut resisteret, omnia pollicitos; commotum illum dilectum habere coepisse. non credo, ut est luculentus auctor. potuisse certe teneri illam provinciam scio. ab Hispaniis autem iam audietur. [3] hic nos C. Marcellum habemus eadem vere cogitantem aut bene simulantem; quamquam ipsum non videram sed ex familiarissimo eius audiebam. tu, quaeso, si quid habebis novi; ego, si quid moliti erimus, ad te statim scribam. Quintum filium severius adhibebo. Vtinam proficere possim! tu tamen eas epistulas quibus asperius de eo scripsi aliquando concerpito, ne quando quid emanet; ego item tuas. [4] Servium exspecto nec ab eo quicquam hugies. scies quicquid erit.