Marcus Tullius Cicero→Titus Pomponius Atticus|c. 66 BC|Cicero|From Rome|To Rome/Athens|AI-assisted
Know that nothing is now so lacking to me as a man with whom I might share all the things that touch me with any care, one who would love me, who would be wise, with whom, when I speak, I would feign nothing, dissemble nothing, conceal nothing. For my brother is away, that most straightforward and most affectionate of men. Metellus is no man, but "shore and air and mere solitude." And you, who very often have relieved the care and anguish of my mind with your conversation and counsel, who are accustomed to be my partner in public affairs and my confidant in all private ones and a sharer in all my talk and deliberations, where in the world are you? I am so abandoned by everyone that I have only as much rest as is spent with my wife and little daughter and my honey-sweet Cicero [his son]. For those ambitious and showy friendships of ours have a certain splendor in the public sphere, but they bear no fruit at home. And so, when my house has been well filled in the morning hour, when I go down to the forum thronged by crowds of friends, out of that great multitude I can find no one with whom I might either jest freely or sigh in confidence. For this reason we await you, we long for you, we even now summon you. For there are many things that trouble and torment me, which it seems to me that, once I have gained your ears, I could pour out in the conversation of a single walk. And indeed all the stings and worries of my domestic anxieties I shall conceal, nor shall I entrust them to this letter and an unknown letter-carrier. And these (for I do not want you to be alarmed) are not too grievous, yet still they press and weigh upon me, and find no rest from the counsel or conversation of any friend who loves me; but in public affairs, although the spirit is present, nevertheless the very remedy again and again inflicts a wound. For, to gather up briefly the things that have been done since your departure, you must by now cry out that the Roman state cannot stand much longer. For after your departure the first entrance into the cause, I think, was the affair of the Clodian scandal, in which I, having found, as it seemed to me, an opportunity for cutting back license and curbing the youth, was vehement and poured out all the powers of my mind and talent, led not by hatred of anyone, but by the hope of correcting and healing the state. The commonwealth was stricken by the bribing and corrupting of the jury. See what things followed afterward. A consul was imposed upon us whom no one except us philosophers could look upon without a sigh. How great this wound! After a decree of the senate had been passed concerning bribery, concerning the courts, no law was carried through, the senate was harassed, the Roman knights were alienated. So that year overturned the two bulwarks of the commonwealth that had been established by me alone; for it both cast away the authority of the senate and broke up the harmony of the orders. Now this distinguished year presses upon us. Its beginning was of such a kind that the annual rites of Youth were not duly performed; for Memmius initiated the wife of Marcus Lucullus into his own rites; Menelaus, taking it ill, made a divorce. Although that Idaean shepherd had despised Menelaus alone, this our Paris held both Menelaus and Agamemnon to be of no account. There is, moreover, a certain Gaius Herennius, a tribune of the plebs, whom perhaps you do not even know; though you may know him, for he is of your tribe, and Sextus, his father, used to distribute coins to your people. He is transferring Publius Clodius to the plebs, and the same man is proposing that the whole people in the Campus Martius cast a vote on the matter of Clodius. This man I received in the senate, as is my custom, but there is nothing more sluggish than that fellow. Metellus is a distinguished consul and loves me, but he diminished his own authority because, for form's sake, he has had that same thing concerning Clodius promulgated. But the son of Aulus, O immortal gods! how cowardly and spiritless a soldier! how worthy, as he does, to offer his face daily to Palicanus for abuse! As for the agrarian law, a quite trivial one has been promulgated by Flavius, nearly the same as the Plotian was. But meanwhile not even in a dream can any statesman be found; the man who could be (for so it is; I want you to know this), our friend Pompey, guards in silence that little embroidered toga of his. Crassus utters not a word against the prevailing favor. The rest you already know; they are so foolish that they seem to hope that, with the commonwealth lost, their fishponds will be safe. There is one man who takes care, more by steadfastness and integrity than, as it seems to me, by counsel or talent, Cato; who for the third month now harasses the wretched tax-farmers, who held him most affectionate toward themselves, and does not allow a response to be given to them by the senate. So we are compelled to decree nothing about the remaining matters before a response has been given to the tax-farmers. For this reason I think that the embassies too will be put off. Now you see by what waves we are tossed, and, if from the things we have written, great as they are, you perceive also the things not written by me, revisit us at last and, although these things are to be fled from, to which I summon you, nevertheless see to it that you value our love so highly that you are willing to enjoy it even with these vexations. For, lest you be registered in the census as absent, I shall take care that it be proclaimed and posted in all places; but to be registered just before the census closes is the mark of a thoroughgoing man of business. Wherefore take care that we may see you as soon as possible. Farewell. On the Kalends of February, in the consulship of Quintus Metellus and Lucius Afranius.
Believe me, there is nothing I want so much at the present time, as a person with whom I can share anything that causes me the least anxiety, a man of affection and common sense, to whom I can speak without affectation, reserve, or concealment. My
brother, who is the most unaffected of persons and most affectionate, is away. Metellus is not a human being, but “sea-shore and airy void and desert waste.” And you whose conversation and advice have so often lightened my load of care and anxiety, who have aided me in my political life, been my confident in my family affairs and shared my conversations and projects—where are you? So utterly am I deserted, that the only moments of repose I have are those which are spent with my wife, my little daughter and darling boy. For my grand and showy friendships bring some public éclat, but private satisfaction they have none. And so, when my house has been crowded with the morning levée and I have gone down to the forum amid a throng of friends, I cannot find in the whole company a single man with whom I can jest freely or whisper familiarly. So I look forward with longing to your coming and in fact urge you to hurry: for I have many cares and anxieties, which I fancy would be banished by a single walk and talk in your sympathetic hearing.
However, I will conceal the stings and pricks of my private troubles, and will not entrust them to this letter and an unknown messenger. They are not very grievous—so don’t alarm yourself—but still they are persistent and worrying, and I have no friend’s advice and discussion to lull them to rest. For the State, though there is still life in it, the very cures that have been tried on it, have again and again opened fresh wounds. If I were to give you a brief summary of what has happened since you left, you would certainly exclaim that Rome cannot possibly stand any longer. For it was after your departure, I believe, that the opening scene of the
Clodian drama became the topic of discussion. There I thought I had a chance of using the surgeon’s knife on licentiousness and curbing youthful excesses: and I exerted myself, putting forth all the resources of my intellect and mind, not out of private spite, but in the hope of effecting a radical cure of the State. The corruption of the jury by bribery and debauchery dealt a crushing blow to the republic. See what has followed. We have had a consul forced on us, at whom no one except us philosophers can look without a sigh. That is a fatal stroke. Though a senatorial decree has been passed about the bribery of juries, no law has been carried; the Senate has been frightened out of it, and the knights have been estranged. So this one year has overturned two bulwarks of the State which had been erected by me alone: for it has destroyed the prestige of the Senate and broken up the harmony of the orders. Now comes this precious year. It was inaugurated by the suspension of the annual rites of the goddess of youth: for Memmius initiated M. Lucullus’ wife into some rites of his own. Menelaus took it hard and divorced his wife. Unlike the shepherd of Ida, who only slighted Menelaus, our modern Paris thought Agamemnon as fitting an object for his contempt. There is one C. Herennius, a tribune—you may not even know him, though perhaps you do, as he is a member of the same tribe as yourself, and his father Sextus used to distribute money to your tribesmen—he is trying to transfer P. Clodius to the plebs, and even proposes that the whole people shall vote on the matter in the Campus Martius. I gave him my
usual reception in the Senate; but he is the most phlegmatic of mortals. Metellus is an excellent consul and an admirer of mine; but he has lessened his influence by making, only for form’s sake, the very same proposal about Clodius. But Aulus’ son—heavens above! what a cowardly and spiritless wretch for a soldier! Just fit to be exposed, as he is, to the daily abuse of Palicanus. An agrarian law has been proposed by Flavius,—a very paltry production, almost identical with the Plotian law. And in the meantime not the ghost of a real statesman is to be found. The man who could be one, my intimate friend—for so he is, I would have you to know—Pompey, wraps that precious triumphal cloak of his around him in silence. Crassus never utters a word to risk his popularity. The others you know well enough—fools who seem to hope that their fish-ponds may be saved, though the country go to rack and ruin. There is one who can be said to take some pains, but, according to my view, with more constancy and honesty than judgement and ability—Cato. It is now three months that he has been worrying those wretched tax-collectors, who used to be great friends of his, and won’t let the Senate give them an answer. So we are forced to suspend all decrees on other subjects until the tax-collectors have had an answer. And I suppose even the embassies will have to be postponed for the same reason.
Now you see the storm we have to weather; and, as you can grasp from what I have written with such emphasis, something of what I have left unwritten, come and see me again, for it is high time. Though
what I invite you to you might well avoid, let your affection for me conquer even your objection under such unpleasant circumstances. I will see to it that notice is given and posted up everywhere, that you may not be entered on the census list as absent. But to get put on the roll just before the census is too thoroughly tradesman-like. So let me see you as soon as possible. Farewell.
Jan. 20 in the consulship of C. Metellus and L. Afranius.
Nihil mihi nunc scito tam deesse uam hominem eum, quocum omnia, que me cura aliqua adficiunt, uno communicem, qui me amet, qui sapiat, quicum ego cum loquar, nihil fingam, nihil dissimulem, nihil obtegam. Abest enim frater aphelestatos et amantissimus. Metellus non homo, sed "litus atque aer et solitudo mera." Tu autem, qui saepissime curam et angorem animi mei sermone et consilio levasti tuo, qui mihi et in publica re socius et in privatis omnibus conscius et omnium meorum sermonum et consiliorum particeps esse soles, ubinam es? Ita sum ab omnibus destitutus. ut tantum requietis habeam, quantum cum uxore et filiola et mellito Cicerone consumitur. Nam illae ambitiosae nostrae fucosaeque amicitiae sunt in quodam splendore forensi, fructum domesticum non habent. Itaque, cum bene completa domus est tempore matutino, cum ad forum stipati gregibus amicorum descendimus, reperire ex magna turba neminem possumus, quocum aut iocari libere aut suspirare familiariter possimus. Quare te exspectamus, te desideramus, te iam etiam arcessimus. Multa sunt enim, quae me sollicitant anguntque; quae mihi videor aures nactus tuas unius ambulationis sermone exhaurire posse. Ac domesticarum quidem sollicitudinum aculeos omnes et scrupulos occultabo, neque ego huic epistulae atque ignoto tabellario committam. Atque hi (nolo enim te permoveri) non sunt permolesti, sed tamen insident et urgent et nullius amantis consilio aut sermone requiescunt; in re publica vero, quam quam animus est praesens, tamen vulnus etiam atque etiam ipsa medicina efficit. Nam, ut ea breviter, quae post tuum discessum acta sunt, colligam, iam exclames necesse est res Romanas diutius stare non posse. Etenim post profectionem tuam primus, ut opinor, introitus fuit in causam fabulae Clodianae, in qua ego nactus, ut mihi videbar, locum resecandae libidinis et coercendae iuventutis; vehemens fui et omnes profudi vires animi atque ingenii mei non odio adductus alicuius, sed spe corrigendae et sanandae civitatis. Adflicta res publica est empto constupratoque iudicio. Vide, quae sint postea consecuta. Consul est impositus is nobis, quem nemo praeter nos philosophos aspicere sine suspiritu posset. Quantum hoc vulnus! facto senatus consulto de ambitu, de iudiciis nulla lex perlata, exagitatus senatus, alienati equites Romani. Sic ille annus duo firmamenta rei publicae per me unum constituta evertit; nam et senatus auctoritatem abiecit et ordinum concordiam diiunxit. Instat hic nunc ille annus egregius. Eius initium eius modi fuit, ut anniversaria sacra Iuventatis non committerentur; nam M. Luculli uxorem Memmius suis sacris initiavit; Menelaus aegre id passus divortium fecit. Quamquam ille pastor Idaeus Menelaum solum contempserat, hic noster Paris tam Menelaum quam Agamemnonem liberum non putavit. Est autem C. Herennius quidam tribunus pl., quem tu fortasse ne nosti quidem; tametsi potes nosse, tribulis enim tuus est, et Sextus, pater eius, nummos vobis dividere solebat. Is ad plebem P. Clodium traducit, idemque fert, ut universus populus in Campo Martio suffragium de re Clodi ferat. Hunc ego accepi in senatu, ut soleo, sed nihil est illo homine lentius. Metellus est consul egregius et nos amat, sed imminuit auctoritatem suam, quod habet dicis causa promulgatum illud idem de Clodio. Auli autem filius, o di immortales! quam ignavus ac sine animo miles! quam dignus, qui Palicano, sicut facit, os ad male audiendum cotidie praebeat! Agraria autem promulgata est a Flavio sane levis eadem fere, quae fuit Plotia. Sed interea politikos aner oud onar quisquam inveniri potest; qui poterat, familiaris noster (sic est enim; volo te hoc scire) Pompeius togulam illam pictam silentio tuetur suam. Crassus verbum nullum contra gratiam. Ceteros iam nosti; qui ita sunt stulti, ut amissa re publica piscinas suas fore salvas sperare videantur. Unus est, qui curet constantia magis et integritate quam, ut mihi videtur, consilio aut ingenio, Cato; qui miseros publicanos, quos habuit amantissimos sui, tertium iam mensem vexat neque iis a senatu responsum dari patitur. Ita nos cogimur reliquis de rebus nihil decernere, ante quam publicanis responsum sit. Quare etiam legationes reiectum iri puto. Nunc vides quibus fluctibus iactemur, et, si ex iis, quae scripsimus tanta, etiam a me non scripta perspicis, revise nos aliquando et, quamquam sunt haec fugienda, quo te voco, tamen fac ut amorem nostrum tanti aestimes, ut eo vel cum his molestiis perfrui velis. Nam, ne absens censeare, curabo edicendum et proponendum locis omnibus; sub lustrum autem censeri germani negotiatoris est. Quare cura, ut te quam primum videamus. Vale. Kal. Febr. Q. Metello, L. Afranio coss.
◆
Know that nothing is now so lacking to me as a man with whom I might share all the things that touch me with any care, one who would love me, who would be wise, with whom, when I speak, I would feign nothing, dissemble nothing, conceal nothing. For my brother is away, that most straightforward and most affectionate of men. Metellus is no man, but "shore and air and mere solitude." And you, who very often have relieved the care and anguish of my mind with your conversation and counsel, who are accustomed to be my partner in public affairs and my confidant in all private ones and a sharer in all my talk and deliberations, where in the world are you? I am so abandoned by everyone that I have only as much rest as is spent with my wife and little daughter and my honey-sweet Cicero [his son]. For those ambitious and showy friendships of ours have a certain splendor in the public sphere, but they bear no fruit at home. And so, when my house has been well filled in the morning hour, when I go down to the forum thronged by crowds of friends, out of that great multitude I can find no one with whom I might either jest freely or sigh in confidence. For this reason we await you, we long for you, we even now summon you. For there are many things that trouble and torment me, which it seems to me that, once I have gained your ears, I could pour out in the conversation of a single walk. And indeed all the stings and worries of my domestic anxieties I shall conceal, nor shall I entrust them to this letter and an unknown letter-carrier. And these (for I do not want you to be alarmed) are not too grievous, yet still they press and weigh upon me, and find no rest from the counsel or conversation of any friend who loves me; but in public affairs, although the spirit is present, nevertheless the very remedy again and again inflicts a wound. For, to gather up briefly the things that have been done since your departure, you must by now cry out that the Roman state cannot stand much longer. For after your departure the first entrance into the cause, I think, was the affair of the Clodian scandal, in which I, having found, as it seemed to me, an opportunity for cutting back license and curbing the youth, was vehement and poured out all the powers of my mind and talent, led not by hatred of anyone, but by the hope of correcting and healing the state. The commonwealth was stricken by the bribing and corrupting of the jury. See what things followed afterward. A consul was imposed upon us whom no one except us philosophers could look upon without a sigh. How great this wound! After a decree of the senate had been passed concerning bribery, concerning the courts, no law was carried through, the senate was harassed, the Roman knights were alienated. So that year overturned the two bulwarks of the commonwealth that had been established by me alone; for it both cast away the authority of the senate and broke up the harmony of the orders. Now this distinguished year presses upon us. Its beginning was of such a kind that the annual rites of Youth were not duly performed; for Memmius initiated the wife of Marcus Lucullus into his own rites; Menelaus, taking it ill, made a divorce. Although that Idaean shepherd had despised Menelaus alone, this our Paris held both Menelaus and Agamemnon to be of no account. There is, moreover, a certain Gaius Herennius, a tribune of the plebs, whom perhaps you do not even know; though you may know him, for he is of your tribe, and Sextus, his father, used to distribute coins to your people. He is transferring Publius Clodius to the plebs, and the same man is proposing that the whole people in the Campus Martius cast a vote on the matter of Clodius. This man I received in the senate, as is my custom, but there is nothing more sluggish than that fellow. Metellus is a distinguished consul and loves me, but he diminished his own authority because, for form's sake, he has had that same thing concerning Clodius promulgated. But the son of Aulus, O immortal gods! how cowardly and spiritless a soldier! how worthy, as he does, to offer his face daily to Palicanus for abuse! As for the agrarian law, a quite trivial one has been promulgated by Flavius, nearly the same as the Plotian was. But meanwhile not even in a dream can any statesman be found; the man who could be (for so it is; I want you to know this), our friend Pompey, guards in silence that little embroidered toga of his. Crassus utters not a word against the prevailing favor. The rest you already know; they are so foolish that they seem to hope that, with the commonwealth lost, their fishponds will be safe. There is one man who takes care, more by steadfastness and integrity than, as it seems to me, by counsel or talent, Cato; who for the third month now harasses the wretched tax-farmers, who held him most affectionate toward themselves, and does not allow a response to be given to them by the senate. So we are compelled to decree nothing about the remaining matters before a response has been given to the tax-farmers. For this reason I think that the embassies too will be put off. Now you see by what waves we are tossed, and, if from the things we have written, great as they are, you perceive also the things not written by me, revisit us at last and, although these things are to be fled from, to which I summon you, nevertheless see to it that you value our love so highly that you are willing to enjoy it even with these vexations. For, lest you be registered in the census as absent, I shall take care that it be proclaimed and posted in all places; but to be registered just before the census closes is the mark of a thoroughgoing man of business. Wherefore take care that we may see you as soon as possible. Farewell. On the Kalends of February, in the consulship of Quintus Metellus and Lucius Afranius.
AI-assisted translation - This translation was produced with AI assistance and has not been peer-reviewed. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek below for scholarly use.
Latin / Greek Original
Nihil mihi nunc scito tam deesse uam hominem eum, quocum omnia, que me cura aliqua adficiunt, uno communicem, qui me amet, qui sapiat, quicum ego cum loquar, nihil fingam, nihil dissimulem, nihil obtegam. Abest enim frater aphelestatos et amantissimus. Metellus non homo, sed "litus atque aer et solitudo mera." Tu autem, qui saepissime curam et angorem animi mei sermone et consilio levasti tuo, qui mihi et in publica re socius et in privatis omnibus conscius et omnium meorum sermonum et consiliorum particeps esse soles, ubinam es? Ita sum ab omnibus destitutus. ut tantum requietis habeam, quantum cum uxore et filiola et mellito Cicerone consumitur. Nam illae ambitiosae nostrae fucosaeque amicitiae sunt in quodam splendore forensi, fructum domesticum non habent. Itaque, cum bene completa domus est tempore matutino, cum ad forum stipati gregibus amicorum descendimus, reperire ex magna turba neminem possumus, quocum aut iocari libere aut suspirare familiariter possimus. Quare te exspectamus, te desideramus, te iam etiam arcessimus. Multa sunt enim, quae me sollicitant anguntque; quae mihi videor aures nactus tuas unius ambulationis sermone exhaurire posse. Ac domesticarum quidem sollicitudinum aculeos omnes et scrupulos occultabo, neque ego huic epistulae atque ignoto tabellario committam. Atque hi (nolo enim te permoveri) non sunt permolesti, sed tamen insident et urgent et nullius amantis consilio aut sermone requiescunt; in re publica vero, quam quam animus est praesens, tamen vulnus etiam atque etiam ipsa medicina efficit. Nam, ut ea breviter, quae post tuum discessum acta sunt, colligam, iam exclames necesse est res Romanas diutius stare non posse. Etenim post profectionem tuam primus, ut opinor, introitus fuit in causam fabulae Clodianae, in qua ego nactus, ut mihi videbar, locum resecandae libidinis et coercendae iuventutis; vehemens fui et omnes profudi vires animi atque ingenii mei non odio adductus alicuius, sed spe corrigendae et sanandae civitatis. Adflicta res publica est empto constupratoque iudicio. Vide, quae sint postea consecuta. Consul est impositus is nobis, quem nemo praeter nos philosophos aspicere sine suspiritu posset. Quantum hoc vulnus! facto senatus consulto de ambitu, de iudiciis nulla lex perlata, exagitatus senatus, alienati equites Romani. Sic ille annus duo firmamenta rei publicae per me unum constituta evertit; nam et senatus auctoritatem abiecit et ordinum concordiam diiunxit. Instat hic nunc ille annus egregius. Eius initium eius modi fuit, ut anniversaria sacra Iuventatis non committerentur; nam M. Luculli uxorem Memmius suis sacris initiavit; Menelaus aegre id passus divortium fecit. Quamquam ille pastor Idaeus Menelaum solum contempserat, hic noster Paris tam Menelaum quam Agamemnonem liberum non putavit. Est autem C. Herennius quidam tribunus pl., quem tu fortasse ne nosti quidem; tametsi potes nosse, tribulis enim tuus est, et Sextus, pater eius, nummos vobis dividere solebat. Is ad plebem P. Clodium traducit, idemque fert, ut universus populus in Campo Martio suffragium de re Clodi ferat. Hunc ego accepi in senatu, ut soleo, sed nihil est illo homine lentius. Metellus est consul egregius et nos amat, sed imminuit auctoritatem suam, quod habet dicis causa promulgatum illud idem de Clodio. Auli autem filius, o di immortales! quam ignavus ac sine animo miles! quam dignus, qui Palicano, sicut facit, os ad male audiendum cotidie praebeat! Agraria autem promulgata est a Flavio sane levis eadem fere, quae fuit Plotia. Sed interea politikos aner oud onar quisquam inveniri potest; qui poterat, familiaris noster (sic est enim; volo te hoc scire) Pompeius togulam illam pictam silentio tuetur suam. Crassus verbum nullum contra gratiam. Ceteros iam nosti; qui ita sunt stulti, ut amissa re publica piscinas suas fore salvas sperare videantur. Unus est, qui curet constantia magis et integritate quam, ut mihi videtur, consilio aut ingenio, Cato; qui miseros publicanos, quos habuit amantissimos sui, tertium iam mensem vexat neque iis a senatu responsum dari patitur. Ita nos cogimur reliquis de rebus nihil decernere, ante quam publicanis responsum sit. Quare etiam legationes reiectum iri puto. Nunc vides quibus fluctibus iactemur, et, si ex iis, quae scripsimus tanta, etiam a me non scripta perspicis, revise nos aliquando et, quamquam sunt haec fugienda, quo te voco, tamen fac ut amorem nostrum tanti aestimes, ut eo vel cum his molestiis perfrui velis. Nam, ne absens censeare, curabo edicendum et proponendum locis omnibus; sub lustrum autem censeri germani negotiatoris est. Quare cura, ut te quam primum videamus. Vale. Kal. Febr. Q. Metello, L. Afranio coss.