Marcus Tullius Cicero→Titus Pomponius Atticus|c. 49 BC|Cicero|From Rome|To Rome/Athens|AI-assisted
Still no news from Brundisium. Balbus wrote from Rome that he thinks the consul Lentulus has already crossed, and that the younger Balbus did not meet him because he had already heard this at Canusium and had written to him from there. He adds that the six cohorts that had been at Alba have gone over to Curius by the Minucian road, that Caesar wrote this to him, and that Caesar will soon be at Rome. So I will use your advice and not hide myself at Arpinum just now, though I had wanted to give my son his toga of manhood there and was planning to leave that very excuse for Caesar. But perhaps he would take offense at that too and ask why not at Rome instead. Still, if I must meet him, this is the best place. Then we shall see the rest: where I am to go, by what route, and when.
Domitius, I hear, is at Cosa and, they say, ready to sail. If he is going to Spain, I disapprove; if to Pompey, I praise him. Certainly anywhere is better than seeing Curtius, whom I, though his advocate, cannot bear to look at. Why mention the others? But I suppose we should be quiet, so that we do not condemn our own fault: because we loved the city, that is, our country, and thought there would be a settlement, we have managed to get ourselves entirely cut off and captured.
Just after I had written the letter, dispatches arrived from Capua in this form: "Pompey has crossed the sea with all the soldiers he had with him. The number is thirty thousand men, with the two consuls, the tribunes of the plebs, and all the senators who were with him, together with their wives and children. He is said to have embarked on March 4. Since that day there have been north winds. They say he either cut loose or burned every ship he did not use." A letter on this matter was brought to Lucius Metellus, tribune of the plebs, at Capua by his mother-in-law Clodia, who herself crossed.
Before, I was anxious and distressed, as the facts themselves forced me to be, since I could not work out any plan. But now that Pompey and the consuls have left Italy, I am not merely distressed; I burn with pain. My heart is no longer steady. I am not, believe me, in control of myself. I seem to myself to have admitted such disgrace. Was I not to be with Pompey first, whatever plan he followed, and then with the good men, however rashly the cause was undertaken, especially when the very people for whose sake I was more timid in trusting myself to fortune, my wife, my daughter, and the young Ciceros, preferred me to follow that course and thought this one disgraceful and unworthy of me? My brother Quintus, for his part, said that whatever pleased me seemed right to him, and he followed it with the calmest mind.
Now I am reading your letters from the beginning. They give me a little life again. The first ones warn and beg me not to throw myself away; the later ones show that you are glad I stayed. While I read them, I seem to myself less shameful, but only while I read. Then the pain and the vision of disgrace rise again. So I beg you, my dear Titus, take this pain from me, or at least lessen it by consolation, advice, or anything you can. But what can you do? What can any human being do? Hardly even a god can help now.
What I am trying to do is what you advise and hope can be done: to have Caesar allow me to be absent whenever something against Pompey is taken up in the Senate. But I fear I will not obtain it. Furnius has come from Caesar. So that you may know what kind of people we are following, he reports that Quintus Titinius' son is with Caesar, and that Caesar thanks me more than I would like. What he asks of me, briefly indeed but with force, you may learn from his own letter. My misery that you were not well. We would have been together, and certainly advice would not have failed us. Two going together see more.
But let us not do again what is already done. Let us prepare the rest. Until now two things have deceived me: first, hope of a settlement, by which, if it was reached, I wanted to live as a private citizen and free our old age from anxiety; second, I understood that Pompey was undertaking a cruel and destructive war. By my faith, I thought it belonged to a better citizen and a better man to suffer any punishment rather than not only to lead that cruelty, but even to be present at it. Now it seems it would have been better to die than to be with these men. Think about these things, then, my dear Atticus, or rather think them through. I will bear any outcome more bravely than this pain.
No news yet from Brundisium. From Rome Balbus has written that he thinks the consul Lentulus has now gone over, and that the younger Balbus has not met him, because the latter has just heard the news at Canusium and from that town has written to him. He adds that the six cohorts which were at Alba have gone to Curius by the Minucian road, that Caesar has written to tell him so and will shortly be in Rome. So I shall follow your advice. I shall not go and bury myself in Arpinum at the present time, though, since I had wished to celebrate my son's coming of age there, I thought of leaving that as an excuse to Caesar. But perhaps that itself will give offence and he might ask why I should not do it at Rome. Still, if I must meet him, I would much rather meet him here. Then I shall see the other things, where I am to go, by what route and when.
Domitius, I hear, is at Cosa, and ready it is said to sail. If it is to Spain, I do not approve, but, if to Pompey, he has my praise. Better to go anywhere than to have to see Curtius, of whom, though I have defended him, I cannot bear the sight, not to speak of others. But I suppose I had better keep quiet, for fear of convicting myself of folly in managing to be cut off wholly and made captive through my love of my country and an idea that the matter could be patched up.
Just as I had finished writing, there came a letter from Capua, of which this is a copy: "Pompey has crossed the sea with all the soldiery he has. There
are 30,000 men, two consuls, tribunes and the senators who were with him, all accompanied by wives and children. He is said to have embarked on the 4th of March. From that day there have been northerly winds. They say he disabled or burned all the ships he did not use."
[Sidennote Iliad x, 91]
On this matter a letter has been received at Capua by Lucius Metellus, the tribune of the plebs, from Clodia, his mother-in-law, who herself crossed the sea. I was anxious and distracted before, naturally enough under the circumstances, when I could find no solution of affairs. But, now that Pompey and the consuls have left Italy, I am not only distracted, but I blaze with indignation. "Steady my heart no more, but wild with grief." Believe me, I say I am no longer responsible, so great the shame I seem to have incurred. To think that in the first place I should not be with Pompey, whatever his plan, nor again with the loyalists, however rashly they have mismanaged their cause! Particularly when those very people, whose interests kept me cautious, my wife, my daughter and the boys, preferred that I should follow Pompey's fortunes, and thought Caesar's cause disgraceful and unworthy of me. As for my brother Quintus, whatever I thought right, he agreed to, and he followed my course with perfect contentment.
Your letters I am reading now from the beginning of the business. They afford me some little relief. The first warn and entreat me not to commit myself. The later ones show you are glad I stayed. While I read them, my conduct seems to me less discreditable; but only so long as I read: afterwards up rises sorrow again and a vision of shame. So I beseech you, Titus,
take this grief away from me, or at any rate lessen it by your sympathy or advice or by any other possible means. Yet what can you or any man do? God Himself could hardly help now.
But my own aim now is to achieve what you advise and hope, that Caesar excuse my absence, when any measure is brought forward against Pompey in the house. But I fear I may fail. Furnius has come from Caesar. To show you the sort of men I am following, he tells me that the son of Q. Titinius is with Caesar, but Caesar expresses greater thanks to me than I could wish. His request put in a few words, but ex cathedra, you may see from his letter. How grieved I am at your ill-health! We should have been together; assuredly advice would not have been wanting: "Two heads are better than one."
But let us not fight battles over again, let us attend to the future. Till now two things have led me astray, at first the hope of a settlement, and, if that were secured, I was ready for private life and an old age quit of public cares; and then I discovered that Pompey was beginning a bloody and destructive war. On my honour I thought that it was the part of a better man and a better citizen to suffer any punishment rather than, I will not say to take a leading part, but even to take any part in such atrocities. It seems as though it would have been preferable to die than to be one of such men. So, my dear Atticus, think on these problems, or rather think them out. I shall bear any result more bravely than this affliction.
[1] nos adhuc Brundisio nihil. Roma scripsit Balbus putare iam Lentulum consulem tramisisse nec eum a minore Balbo conventum, quod is hoc iam Canusi audisset; inde ad se eum scripsisse; cohortesque sex quae Albae fuissent ad Curium via Minucia transisse; id Caesarem ad se scripsisse et brevi tempore eum ad urbem futurum. ergo utar tuo consilio neque me Arpinum hoc tempore abdam, etsi, Ciceroni meo togam puram quom dare Arpini vellem, hanc eram ipsam excusationem relicturus ad Caesarem. sed fortasse in eo ipso offendetur, cur non Romae potius. ac tamen si est conveniendus, hic potissimum. tum reliqua videbimus, id est et quo et qua et quando. [2] Domitius , ut audio, in Cosano est et quidem, ut aiunt, paratus ad navigandum, si in Hispaniam, non probo, si ad Gnaeum, laudo; quovis potius certe quam ut Curtium videat quem ego patronus aspicere non possum. quid alios? sed, opinor, quiescamus, ne nostram culpam coarguamus qui, dum urbem, id est patriam, amamus dumque rem conventuram putamus, ita nos gessimus ut plane interclusi captique simus. [3] scripta iam epistula Capua litterae sunt adlatae hoc a exemplo: 'Pompeius mare transiit cum omnibus militibus quos secum habuit. hic numerus est hominum milia triginta et consules duo et tribuni pl. et senatores qui fuerunt cum eo omnes cum uxoribus et liberis. conscendisse dicitur a. d. iiii Nonas Martias. ex ea die fuere septemtriones venti. Navis quibus usus non est omnis aut praecidisse aut incendisse dicunt.' de hac re litterae L. Metello tribuno pl. Capuam adlatae sunt a Clodia socru quae ipsa transiit. [4] ante sollicitus eram et angebar, sicut res scilicet ipsa cogebat, quom consilio explicare nihil possem; nunc autem postquam Pompeius et consules ex Italia exierunt, non angor sed ardeo dolore, oude moi etor empedon, all' alaluktemai. non sum, inquam, mihi crede, mentis compos; tantum mihi dedecoris admisisse videor. mene non primum cum Pompeio qualicumque consilio usus (est), deinde cum bonis esse quamvis causa temere instituta? praesertim cum ii ipsi quorum ego causa timidius me fortunae committebam, uxor, filia, Cicerones pueri me illud sequi mallent, hoc turpe et me indignum putarent. nam Quintus quidem frater quicquid mihi placeret id rectum se putare aiebat, id animo aequissimo sequebatur. [5] tuas nunc epistulas a primo lego. hae me paulum recreant. primae monent et rogant ne me proiciam, proximae gaudere te ostendunt me remansisse. eas cum lego, minus mihi turpis videor, sed tam diu dum lego. deinde emergit rursum dolor et aischrou phantasia. quam ob rem obsecro te, mi Tite, eripe mihi hunc dolorem aut minue saltem aut consolatione aut consilio aut quacumque re potes. quid tu autem possis? aut quid homo quisquam? vix iam deus. [6] equidem illud molior quod tu mones sperasque fieri posse, ut mihi Caesar concedat ut absim cum aliquid in senatu contra Gnaeum agatur. sed timeo ne non impetrem. venit ab eo Furnius. Vt quidem scias quos sequamur, Q. Titini filium cum Caesare esse nuntiat, sed illum maiores mihi gratias agere quam vellem. quid autem me roget paucis ille quidem verbis sed en dunamei, cognosce ex ipsius epistula. me miserum quod tu non valuisti! una fuissemus; consilium certe non defuisset; 'sun te du' erchomeno'--. [7] sed acta ne agamus, reliqua paremus. me adhuc haec duo fefellerunt, initio spes compositionis, qua facta volebam uti populari vita, sollicitudine senectutem nostram liberare; deinde bellum crudele et exitiosum suscipi a Pompeio intellegebam. melioris medius fidius civis et viri putabam quovis supplicio adfici quam illi crudelitati non solum praeesse verum etiam interesse. videtur vel mori satius fuisse quam esse cum his. ad haec igitur cogita, mi Attice, vel potius excogita. quemvis eventum fortius feram quam hunc dolorem.
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Still no news from Brundisium. Balbus wrote from Rome that he thinks the consul Lentulus has already crossed, and that the younger Balbus did not meet him because he had already heard this at Canusium and had written to him from there. He adds that the six cohorts that had been at Alba have gone over to Curius by the Minucian road, that Caesar wrote this to him, and that Caesar will soon be at Rome. So I will use your advice and not hide myself at Arpinum just now, though I had wanted to give my son his toga of manhood there and was planning to leave that very excuse for Caesar. But perhaps he would take offense at that too and ask why not at Rome instead. Still, if I must meet him, this is the best place. Then we shall see the rest: where I am to go, by what route, and when.
Domitius, I hear, is at Cosa and, they say, ready to sail. If he is going to Spain, I disapprove; if to Pompey, I praise him. Certainly anywhere is better than seeing Curtius, whom I, though his advocate, cannot bear to look at. Why mention the others? But I suppose we should be quiet, so that we do not condemn our own fault: because we loved the city, that is, our country, and thought there would be a settlement, we have managed to get ourselves entirely cut off and captured.
Just after I had written the letter, dispatches arrived from Capua in this form: "Pompey has crossed the sea with all the soldiers he had with him. The number is thirty thousand men, with the two consuls, the tribunes of the plebs, and all the senators who were with him, together with their wives and children. He is said to have embarked on March 4. Since that day there have been north winds. They say he either cut loose or burned every ship he did not use." A letter on this matter was brought to Lucius Metellus, tribune of the plebs, at Capua by his mother-in-law Clodia, who herself crossed.
Before, I was anxious and distressed, as the facts themselves forced me to be, since I could not work out any plan. But now that Pompey and the consuls have left Italy, I am not merely distressed; I burn with pain. My heart is no longer steady. I am not, believe me, in control of myself. I seem to myself to have admitted such disgrace. Was I not to be with Pompey first, whatever plan he followed, and then with the good men, however rashly the cause was undertaken, especially when the very people for whose sake I was more timid in trusting myself to fortune, my wife, my daughter, and the young Ciceros, preferred me to follow that course and thought this one disgraceful and unworthy of me? My brother Quintus, for his part, said that whatever pleased me seemed right to him, and he followed it with the calmest mind.
Now I am reading your letters from the beginning. They give me a little life again. The first ones warn and beg me not to throw myself away; the later ones show that you are glad I stayed. While I read them, I seem to myself less shameful, but only while I read. Then the pain and the vision of disgrace rise again. So I beg you, my dear Titus, take this pain from me, or at least lessen it by consolation, advice, or anything you can. But what can you do? What can any human being do? Hardly even a god can help now.
What I am trying to do is what you advise and hope can be done: to have Caesar allow me to be absent whenever something against Pompey is taken up in the Senate. But I fear I will not obtain it. Furnius has come from Caesar. So that you may know what kind of people we are following, he reports that Quintus Titinius' son is with Caesar, and that Caesar thanks me more than I would like. What he asks of me, briefly indeed but with force, you may learn from his own letter. My misery that you were not well. We would have been together, and certainly advice would not have failed us. Two going together see more.
But let us not do again what is already done. Let us prepare the rest. Until now two things have deceived me: first, hope of a settlement, by which, if it was reached, I wanted to live as a private citizen and free our old age from anxiety; second, I understood that Pompey was undertaking a cruel and destructive war. By my faith, I thought it belonged to a better citizen and a better man to suffer any punishment rather than not only to lead that cruelty, but even to be present at it. Now it seems it would have been better to die than to be with these men. Think about these things, then, my dear Atticus, or rather think them through. I will bear any outcome more bravely than this pain.
AI-assisted translation - This translation was produced with AI assistance and has not been peer-reviewed. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek below for scholarly use.
Latin / Greek Original
[1] nos adhuc Brundisio nihil. Roma scripsit Balbus putare iam Lentulum consulem tramisisse nec eum a minore Balbo conventum, quod is hoc iam Canusi audisset; inde ad se eum scripsisse; cohortesque sex quae Albae fuissent ad Curium via Minucia transisse; id Caesarem ad se scripsisse et brevi tempore eum ad urbem futurum. ergo utar tuo consilio neque me Arpinum hoc tempore abdam, etsi, Ciceroni meo togam puram quom dare Arpini vellem, hanc eram ipsam excusationem relicturus ad Caesarem. sed fortasse in eo ipso offendetur, cur non Romae potius. ac tamen si est conveniendus, hic potissimum. tum reliqua videbimus, id est et quo et qua et quando. [2] Domitius , ut audio, in Cosano est et quidem, ut aiunt, paratus ad navigandum, si in Hispaniam, non probo, si ad Gnaeum, laudo; quovis potius certe quam ut Curtium videat quem ego patronus aspicere non possum. quid alios? sed, opinor, quiescamus, ne nostram culpam coarguamus qui, dum urbem, id est patriam, amamus dumque rem conventuram putamus, ita nos gessimus ut plane interclusi captique simus. [3] scripta iam epistula Capua litterae sunt adlatae hoc a exemplo: 'Pompeius mare transiit cum omnibus militibus quos secum habuit. hic numerus est hominum milia triginta et consules duo et tribuni pl. et senatores qui fuerunt cum eo omnes cum uxoribus et liberis. conscendisse dicitur a. d. iiii Nonas Martias. ex ea die fuere septemtriones venti. Navis quibus usus non est omnis aut praecidisse aut incendisse dicunt.' de hac re litterae L. Metello tribuno pl. Capuam adlatae sunt a Clodia socru quae ipsa transiit. [4] ante sollicitus eram et angebar, sicut res scilicet ipsa cogebat, quom consilio explicare nihil possem; nunc autem postquam Pompeius et consules ex Italia exierunt, non angor sed ardeo dolore, oude moi etor empedon, all' alaluktemai. non sum, inquam, mihi crede, mentis compos; tantum mihi dedecoris admisisse videor. mene non primum cum Pompeio qualicumque consilio usus (est), deinde cum bonis esse quamvis causa temere instituta? praesertim cum ii ipsi quorum ego causa timidius me fortunae committebam, uxor, filia, Cicerones pueri me illud sequi mallent, hoc turpe et me indignum putarent. nam Quintus quidem frater quicquid mihi placeret id rectum se putare aiebat, id animo aequissimo sequebatur. [5] tuas nunc epistulas a primo lego. hae me paulum recreant. primae monent et rogant ne me proiciam, proximae gaudere te ostendunt me remansisse. eas cum lego, minus mihi turpis videor, sed tam diu dum lego. deinde emergit rursum dolor et aischrou phantasia. quam ob rem obsecro te, mi Tite, eripe mihi hunc dolorem aut minue saltem aut consolatione aut consilio aut quacumque re potes. quid tu autem possis? aut quid homo quisquam? vix iam deus. [6] equidem illud molior quod tu mones sperasque fieri posse, ut mihi Caesar concedat ut absim cum aliquid in senatu contra Gnaeum agatur. sed timeo ne non impetrem. venit ab eo Furnius. Vt quidem scias quos sequamur, Q. Titini filium cum Caesare esse nuntiat, sed illum maiores mihi gratias agere quam vellem. quid autem me roget paucis ille quidem verbis sed en dunamei, cognosce ex ipsius epistula. me miserum quod tu non valuisti! una fuissemus; consilium certe non defuisset; 'sun te du' erchomeno'--. [7] sed acta ne agamus, reliqua paremus. me adhuc haec duo fefellerunt, initio spes compositionis, qua facta volebam uti populari vita, sollicitudine senectutem nostram liberare; deinde bellum crudele et exitiosum suscipi a Pompeio intellegebam. melioris medius fidius civis et viri putabam quovis supplicio adfici quam illi crudelitati non solum praeesse verum etiam interesse. videtur vel mori satius fuisse quam esse cum his. ad haec igitur cogita, mi Attice, vel potius excogita. quemvis eventum fortius feram quam hunc dolorem.