Letter 156

You write that my letter has become widely circulated. I am not upset; in fact I gave it to many people to copy. Events have already happened, and more are hanging over us, in such a way that I want my view on peace to be on record. When I was urging that man in particular toward peace, it seemed to me there was no easier way to move him than to say that what I was urging suited his wisdom. If I called that wisdom admirable while urging him toward the safety of the fatherland, I was not afraid of seeming to flatter him. In such a matter I would gladly have thrown myself at his feet. The phrase "give some time" was not about peace, but about thinking a little of me and my duty. As for my statement that I had been no party to the war, although that is clear from the facts, I wrote it so I would have more authority in persuading him. The same purpose explains why I approve his cause. But why discuss this now? If only something had come of it. Indeed, I would not mind having that letter read aloud in a public meeting, since Pompey himself, writing to the same man, posted in public that letter containing "for your most brilliant achievements." More brilliant than his own? More brilliant than Africanus' achievements? The times forced the words. Even two men like you are going to the fifth milestone to meet Caesar. What pledge is he giving about himself right now? What is he doing? What will he do? How much more fiercely will he trust his cause when he sees you and men like you not only gathered in numbers but congratulating him with cheerful faces. "Are we doing wrong, then?" Not you, not in the least. Still, the signs by which goodwill could be distinguished from pretense are being thrown into confusion. What decrees of the Senate I foresee - but I am speaking more openly than I meant to. I want to be at Arpinum on February 28, and then wander around our little estates, which I had despaired of seeing again. Your advice, refined and yet not incautious for the times, pleases me greatly. Lepidus, with whom I spend nearly every day, much to his delight, never approved leaving Italy; Tullus approved it even less, for his letters often reach me through others. Their opinions moved me less; they had given the republic fewer pledges. Your authority, by Hercules, moves me strongly, because it offers a way both to recover the remaining time and to protect the present. But I beg you, what is more miserable than one man seeking applause in the foulest cause and another giving offense in the best? One is thought the preserver of his enemies, the other the deserter of his friends. And by Hercules, however much we love our Gnaeus, as we do and should, I cannot praise his failure to aid such men. If he was afraid, what is more cowardly? If, as some think, he believed his cause would be better after their slaughter, what is more unjust? But let us leave this; by going back over it we only increase the pain. On the evening of February 24, the younger Balbus came to me by a hidden route, running to the consul Lentulus, sent by Caesar with letters, instructions, and the promise of a province if Lentulus returned to Rome. I do not think Lentulus can be persuaded unless there is a meeting. Balbus also said that Caesar wanted nothing more than to catch up with Pompey - that I believe - and to return to friendship with him. That I do not believe, and I fear that all this clemency is being gathered up for the cruelty of Cinna. The elder Balbus writes to me that Caesar wants nothing more than to live without fear under Pompey's leadership. You, I suppose, believe this. But as I write on February 25, Pompey may already have come to Brundisium. He had gone ahead without baggage before the legions, from Luceria on February 19. This monstrous man has terrifying vigilance, speed, and diligence. I have no idea what will happen.

I am not upset at the circulation of my letter, indeed I myself let many people take a copy. Considering what has happened and is likely to happen, I want my views on peace published. And when I exhorted Caesar of all men to seek peace, I had no readier argument than to say, that peace became a man of his wisdom. If I spoke of his "admirable" wisdom, seeing that I was urging him on to the salvation of our country, I was not afraid of appearing to flatter him: in such a cause I would gladly have cast myself at his feet. When I use the phrase "spare time," that does not mean for the consideration of peace, but for the consideration of myself and my obligations. As to my statement that I have taken no part in the war, though the facts are evidence, I wrote it to give greater weight to my advice and it was for the same reason that I expressed approbation of his case. But this is idle talk now: I only wish it had done some good. Why, I should not object to the recital of my letter at a public meeting, when Pompey himself, writing to Caesar, exhibited for public perusal a letter containing the words "On account of your splendid achievements," (are they more splendid than Pompey's own, or those of Africanus? Circumstances made him say so.) and when two men like you and S. Peducaeus are going to meet him at the fifth milestone,—and at this moment to what course does he pledge himself, what is he doing, what is he going to do? Surely his belief in his rights will grow more vehement, when he sees you and men like you not only in crowds, but with joy upon your faces. "What harm in that," you ask? Not a bit, as far as you are concerned: but still the outward signs of the distinction between genuine feeling and pretence are all upset. I foresee some strange decrees of the Senate. But my letter has been more frank than I intended. I hope to be at Arpinum on the 28th, and then to visit my country estates, I fear for the last time. Your policy, gentlemanly, but not without a touch of caution suited to the times, has my sincere approval. Lepidus, who has the pleasure of my company almost every day, never liked the plan of quitting Italy: Tullus detested it: for letters from him often reach me from other hands. However their views influence me little: they have given fewer pledges to the state than I: but I am strongly swayed by the weight of your opinion, which proposes a plan for betterment in the future and security in the present. Is there a more wretched spectacle than that of Caesar earning praise in the most disgusting cause, and of Pompey earning blame in the most excellent: of Caesar being regarded as the saviour of his enemies, and Pompey as a traitor to his friends? Assuredly though I love Pompey, from inclination and duty, still I cannot praise his failure to succour such men. If it was fear, it was most cowardly; if, as some think, he imagined that their massacre would assist his cause, it was most iniquitous. But let us pass over this, for remembrance adds to my sorrow. On the evening of the 24th, Balbus the younger came to me, hurrying on a secret errand to the consul Lentulus from Caesar with a letter, a commission, and the promise of a province on condition of his returning to Rome. I don't think that he can be talked over without a personal interview. Balbus said that Caesar was most anxious to meet Pompey (I believe it), and to get on good terms with him. This I do not believe and I fear all his kindness is only a preparation for cruelty like Cinna's. Balbus the elder writes to me that Caesar wants nothing better than to live in safety under Pompey. I expect you will believe that. But while I write this letter on the 25th of February, Pompey may have reached Brundisium. He set out without baggage, and before his legions, on the 19th from Luceria. But that bogy-man has terrible wariness, speed and energy. The future is a riddle to me.

epistulam meam quod pervulgatam scribis esse non fero moleste, quin etiam ipse multis dedi describendam. ea enim et acciderunt iam et impendent, ut testatum esse velim de pace quid senserim. Cum autem ad eam hortarer eum praesertim hominem, non videbar ullo modo facilius moturus quam si id quod eum hortarer convenire eius sapientiae dicerem. eam si admirabilem dixi quom eum ad salutem patriae hortabar, non sum veritus ne viderer adsentari quoi tali in re libenter me ad pedes abiecissem. qua autem est 'aliquid impertias temporis,' non est de pace sed de me ipso et de meo officio ut aliquid cogitet. nam quod testificor me expertem belli fuisse, etsi id re perspectum est, tamen eo scripsi quo in suadendo plus auctoritatis haberem; eodemque pertinet quod causam eius probo. [2] sed quid haec nunc? Vtinam aliquid profectum esset! ne ego istas litteras in contione recitari velim, si quidem ille ipse ad eundem scribens in publico proposuit epistulam illam in qua est 'pro tuis rebus gestis amplissimis' (amplioribusne quam suis, quam Africani? ita tempus ferebat), si quidem etiam vos duo tales ad quintum miliarium quid nunc ipsum de se recipienti, quid agenti, quid acturo? quanto autem ferocius ille causae suae confidet, cum vos, cum vestri similis non modo frequentis sed laeto vultu gratulantis viderit! num igitur peccamus?' minime vos quidem; sed tamen signa conturbantur quibus voluntas a simulatione distingui posset. quae vero senatus consulta 'o video? sed apertius quam proposueram. [3] ego Arpini volo esse pridie Kal., deinde circum villulas nostras errare quas visurum me postea desperavi. Eugene tua consilia et tamen pro temporibus non incauta mihi valde probantur. Lepido quidem (nam fere sundiemereuomen, quod gratissimum illi est) numquam placuit ex Italia exire, Tullo multo minus. crebro enim illius litterae ab aliis ad nos commeant. sed me illorum sententiae minus movebant; minus multa dederant illi rei publicae pignora. tua me hercule auctoritas vehementer movet; adfert enim et reliqui temporis reciperandi rationem et praesentis tuendi. sed obsecro te, quid hoc miserius quam alterum plausus in foedissima causa quaerere, alterum offensiones in optima? alterum existimari conservatorem inimicorum, alterum desertorem amicorum? et me hercule quamvis amemus Gnaeum nostrum, ut et facimus et debemus, tamen hoc quod talibus viris non subvenit laudare non possum. nam sive timuit, quid ignavius? sive, ut quidam putant, meliorem suam causam illorum caede fore putavit, quid iniustius? sed haec omittamus; augemus enim dolorem retractando. [4] vi Kal. vesperi Balbus minor ad me venit occulta via currens ad Lentulum consulem missu Caesaris cum litteris, cum mandatis, cum promissione provinciae, Romam ut redeat. quoi persuaderi posse non arbitror, nisi erit conventus. idem aiebat nihil malle Caesarem quam ut Pompeium adsequeretur (id credo) et rediret in gratiam. id non credo et metuo ne omnis haec clementia ad Cinneam illam crudelitatem conligatur. Balbus quidem maior ad me scribit nihil malle Caesarem quam principe Pompeio sine metu vivere. tu, puto, haec credis. sed cum haec scribebam v Kalend., Pompeius iam Brundisium venisse poterat; expeditus enim antecesserat legiones xi (K.) Luceria. sed hoc teras horribili vigilantia, celeritate, diligentia est. plane quid futurum sit nescio.