Letter 1008: I recall hearing you say more than once that we can never be cleansed of our sins unless we confess our crimes when...

Ruricius to his own lord in Christ, his lord and patron, Bishop Sidonius. I recall having heard from you, when you preached rather often, that we can in no way be cleansed of our iniquities unless we have confessed our crimes with our conscience pricking us. For who, I will not say can attain, but can even so much as seek pardon, unless he joins to his lamentation a confession of his error, since error requires pardon, not pardon error? Knowing this to be entirely true, I did not put off disclosing to your Holiness the misdeed I have lately committed, lest what, with me now revealing it, looks toward forgiveness, might afterward, with me keeping silent, pertain to guilt. But now we bring the very deceit itself into the open. I set myself before you as guilty of theft, and I declare that I have unlawfully appropriated a thing deposited in your keeping, without your knowing. Yet, that I might commit even this, you yourselves gave the occasion for perpetrating the misdeed, either by tempting one who was covetous or by wishing to instruct one who was unlearned. For I confess that I have transcribed the volume which you had ordered me to receive from my brother Leontius. If you approve of this, acknowledge it; if you charge it against me, pardon it, since a complaint is joined to the confession. For first my own will impelled me to read it, then the book itself wrung from me that it be copied. For when I had as yet tasted only a little of its banquet, it so allured me by the taste of its enticing savor that, becoming in a manner an imitator of our first parent, with my lord suddenly held in contempt, I strove to arrive at satiety, and listened more to the counsel of one persuading than to the command of one ruling. For, to make manifest all the secrets of my heart, I seemed to myself to hear the words of the book itself exhorting me: Why do you delay, ungrateful one, why do you hesitate? You know the will of our common Lord toward you, with which He strives on diverse occasions to refine you, with which the good Shepherd is wont to force spiritual food even upon you against your will. Believe me, He will charge it more against you if you put it off than if you copy it, since He is accustomed to favor the diligent, not to begrudge them. By these and such silent addresses I cast myself, at once willing and compelled, of my own accord into its chains, and in haste I approached to make a copy of it; and now whether I ought to render it back transcribed, as it is, or made ready, hangs upon your judgment. Yet I will gladly accept whatever penalty you impose, since I believe your decree to be my remedy, and I reckon your sentence to be a healing, not a punishment.

VIII. DOMINO SUO PECULIARI IN CHRISTO DOMINO PATRONO SIDONIO EPISCOPO RURICIUS. Praedicantibus uobis saepius audisse me recolo nullatenus ab iniquitatibus nos posse purgari, nisi fuerimus crimina nostra conscientia conpungente confessi. quis enim, non dicam 9] cf. Matth. 21, 19. 2 peculiariter v 4 dilegere S pia v, pietas S 5 affectum S 6 corregitis S 8 stereli S domosa S quejjentibus S (s add . in ras. S1) 10 quam v 11 abscindi v deferte S 12 doctrine S (d in ras.) pinguine S stercore Kr., stere S, terrae v 13 dulciscat S 15 prestiteratis S 16 alium q S, alium qui v uestrum si iam] uestris usibus nunc v 18 iubeatis] ualeatis Kr . simnlq S, simul quod v 19 gurdonem scripsi, gurdone SKr . abituri v me om. v 25 quis v, quiquis S consequi, sed uel quaerere queat indulgentiam, nisi deplorationi confessionem erroris adiungat, quia error indulgentiam, non indulgentia requirit errorem? quod ego ualde uerum esse cognoscens facinus meum nuper admissum pietati uestrae indicare non distuli, ne, quod modo prodente me spectat ad ueniam, tacente postmodum pertineret ad culpam. sed iam ipsum dolum proferimus in medium. furti me uobis reum statuo et depositum uestrum me ignorantibus uobis inlicite praesumpsisse pronuntio. quod ut tamen committerem, occasionem perpetrandi facinoris uos dedistis aut temptantes cupidum aut indoctum erudire cupientes. codicem namque, quem de fratre meo Leontio me recipere iusseratis, transtulisse me fateor. quod si probatis, agnoscite, si inputatis, ignoscite, quia confessioni querella sociatur. nam primum, ut eum legerem, uoluntas inpulit, deinde ille, ut transferretur, extorsit. nam cum de dapibus ipsius adhuc pauca libassem, taliter me gustu inlecebrosi saporis inlexit, ut primi quodammodo parentis imitator domino repente contempto ad satietatem studuerim peruenire magisque consilium suadentis quam imperium dominantis audierim. nam ut omnia pectoris mei arcana manifestem, uidebar mihi libri ipsius uerba adhortantis audire: quid cessas, ingrate, quid dubitas? nosti erga te communis domini uoluntatem, quam diuersis occasionibus te elimare contendat, quam tibi etiam inuito spiritales cibos soleat bonus pastor ingerere. mihi crede, plus tibi, si distuleris, quam transtuleris, inputabit, quia studiosis fauere, non inuidere consueuit. his et talibus silentis adloquiis in uincula eius me uoluntarius pariter et coactus sponte conieci, ad exemplandum eum festinus accessi, 1 querere S indulgentiam S 3 rerum S, serum, 5 prodente me v, prudente S 9 praesumsisse S 10 IIuos S (s eras.) dedicistis S t P au S (t man. alt.) temtantes S (p man. alt.) 11 inductum S 12leoncio S 13 ignoscite s. i. agnoscite SKr., corr. v 14 quaerilla S 15 inpolit 8 p 17 imitatur S1 18 eontemto S (p man. alt.) sacietatem S 19 suab dentes 81 21 ipsius ex istius corr . 81 22 ingratae S duitas S (b man. alt.) 23 occansionibus S 24 cybos S 27 silentio v uincula v, uinculis S 28 sponte deleuit Mommseflus quem nunc utrum, sicut est, transcriptum an paratum reddere debeam, in uestro pendet arbitrio. ego tamen libens multam, quam intuleritis, excipiam, quia remedium meum uestrum credo esse decretum et sententiam uestram medellam duco esse, non poenam.