Letter 283

I have seen what sort of attack Caesar's denunciation will be against my eulogy, from the book that Hirtius sent me; in it he piles up the faults of Cato, but together with the highest praises of me. So I have sent the book to Musca, for him to hand over to your copyists. For I want it circulated; and so that this may be done more easily, you will give the order to your people. A piece of advisory writing [Greek: sumbouleutikon, a 'letter of counsel' addressed to Caesar] I often attempt. I find nothing, and in fact I have with me the books of Aristotle and of Theopompus addressed to Alexander. But what likeness is there? Those men were writing both what was honorable for themselves and what was pleasing to Alexander. Do you find anything of that kind? To me, at any rate, nothing comes to mind. As to what you write, that you fear our influence and authority may be diminished by this grief of mine, I do not know what people are either blaming or demanding. That I should not grieve? How can I? That I should not be prostrate? Who was ever less so? While your house consoled me, who was shut out by me? Who came who gave offense? I set out from your place to Astura. Those cheerful fellows who blame me cannot even read as many things as I have written. How well, that is nothing to the point, but the kind of writing was such as no one with a broken spirit could produce. Thirty days I was in the gardens. Who missed either meeting with me or the ease of my conversation? At this very moment I am reading such things, writing such things, that those who are with me bear the leisure more reluctantly than I bear the labor. If anyone asks why I am not at Rome: because it is the recess; why I am not in those little estates of mine that suit this season: because I could not easily endure that crowd. So I am where the man who used to own the finest place at Baiae was accustomed to spend this season every year. When I have come to Rome, I shall be found wanting neither in countenance nor in speech. That cheerfulness with which I used to season the gloom of these times I have lost forever, but consistency and firmness, neither of spirit nor of speech, will be found wanting. About the Scapulan gardens, this seems possible to bring about, partly by your influence, partly by mine, that they be put up to the auctioneer. Unless that happens, we shall be shut out. But if we come to the auction-board, we shall, by our eagerness, overbid Otho's means. For as to what you write to me about Lentulus, the matter is not in his hands. Only let the business of Faberius be settled, and you exert yourself, as you are doing, and we shall obtain what we want. As to your asking how long I am here: a few days. But I have nothing certain. As soon as I have decided, I will write to you, and you write to me how long you are going to be in your suburban place. On the day that I sent you this, about Pilia and Attica the same things that you write are both written and reported to me as well.

I am not at all annoyed that Hirtius wrote to you about me in a sympathetic tone (he was acting kindly), and still less at your not sending his letter to me, in which you were acting even more kindly. The reason why I want your copyists to circulate the book he sent me about Cato, is that their abuse may enhance Cato's reputation. You say you are negotiating through Mustela. He is a very suitable person and very devoted to me since the affair of Pontianus. So get something settled. But what is wanted except an opening for a purchaser? And that could be got through any of the heirs. But I think Mustela will manage that, if you ask him. You will have provided me not only with the very place I want for my purpose, but a place to grow old in besides. For Silius' and Drusus' places don't seem to me quite fit for a paterfamilias. Why, I should have to spend whole days in the country house. So I prefer the others, Otho's first and then Clodia's. If nothing comes of it, then we must play a trick on Drusus or fall back on the place at Tusculum. You have done wisely in shutting yourself up at home. But please get your business over and let me find you with some leisure again. As I said before, I am going from here to Lanuvium on the 16th, then on the 17th to Tusculum. For I have crushed down my feelings and perhaps have conquered them, if only it will last. So you shall hear to-morrow perhaps, at the latest the day after. But what is this, pray? Philotimus says Pompey is not shut in at Carteia (about that Oppius and Balbus had sent me a copy of a letter to Clodius of Patavium, saying they thought he was) and that there is quite an important war yet to come. Of course he always is a parody of Fulvinius. However have you any news? I want to know the facts about the shipwreck of Caninius too. I have finished two large treatises here. It was the only way I could get away from my misery. As for you, even if you have nothing to write, which I think will be the case, write and tell me that you have nothing to say, provided you don't use those very words.

qualis futura sit Caesaris vituperatio contra laudationem meam perspexi ex eo libro quem Hirtius ad me misit; in quo conligit vitia Catonis sed cum maximis laudibus meis. itaque misi librum ad Muscam ut tuis librariis daret. volo enim eum divulgari; quod quo facilius fiat imperabis tuis. [2] Sumbouleutiko\n saepe conor. nihil reperio et quidem mecum habeo et )Aristote/louj et Qeopo/mpou libros pro\j )Ale/candron . sed quid simile? illi et quae ipsis honesta essent scribebant et grata Alexandro. ecquid tu eius modi reperis? mihi quidem nihil in mentem venit. quod scribis te vereri ne et gratia et auctoritas nostra hoc meo maerore minuatur, ego quid homines aut reprehendant aut postulent nescio. ne doleam? qui potest? ne iaceam? quis umquam minus? dum tua me domus levabat, quis a me exclusus? quis venit qui offenderet? Asturam sum a te profectus. legere isti laeti qui me reprehendunt tam multa non possunt quam ego scripsi. quam bene, nihil ad rem, sed genus scribendi id fuit quod nemo abiecto animo facere posset. triginta dies in hortis fui. quis aut congressum meum aut facilitatem sermonis desideravit? nunc ipsum ea lego, ea scribo ut ii qui mecum sunt difficilius otium ferant quam ego laborem. [3] si quis requirit cur Romae non sim: quia discessus est; cur non sim in iis meis praediolis quae sunt huius temporis: quia frequentiam illam non facile ferrem. ibi sum igitur ubi is qui optimas Baias habebat quotannis hoc tempus consumere solebat. cum Romam venero, nec vultu nec oratione reprehendar. hilaritatem illam qua hanc tristitiam temporum condiebam in perpetuum amisi, constantia et firmitas nec animi nec orationis requiretur. [4] de hortis Scapulanis hoc videtur effici posse, aliud tua gratia, aliud nostra, ut praeconi subiciantur. id nisi fit, excludemur. sin ad tabulam venimus, vincemus facultates Othonis nostra cupiditate. nam quod ad me de Lentulo scribis, non est in eo . Faberiana modo res certa sit tuque enitare, quod facis, quod volumus consequemur. [5] quod quaeris quam diu hic: paucos dies. sed certum non habeo. simul ac constituero, ad te scribam, et tu ad me quam diu in suburbano sis futurus. quo die ego ad te haec misi, de Pilia et Attica mihi quoque eadem quae scribis et scribuntur et nuntiantur.